Fantasy World News
1st of Daylong, Year of the Sunfish
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Silkshort offers new proposals ahead of emergency summit


The scene, yesterday

Greek King Asharchs Rydgestones made a new offer on a reforms package to foreign creditors on Sunday, signaling 11th-hour concessions to break a deadlock that has pushed Silkshort to the brink of bankruptcy. After months of wrangling and with anxious depositors pulling billions of copper pieces out of Greek banks, Rydgestones's leftist royal showed a new willingness this weekend to make concessions that would unlock frozen aid to avert default. Dwarf King Darkarchs the Desert of Stonee, on a visit to Cavecrystal, confirmed Silkshort had offered new proposals although the Lawful Alliance diplomats said no formal written proposal had arrived.

Doomsnake crossbow bolting victims, Lifecrystal anguishes over 'freshness of death'

Hundreds of people packed a sweltering Ropeskye red dragon Ropeskye Mistice temple on Lifecrystal for an emotional memorial service on Sunday just days after a spellcaster, identified by authorities as a 21-year-old white adventurer, shot dead nine black temple members. "We are reminded this morning about the freshness of death that comes like a thief in the night," the Lavahold Shortcoal Deepfrog told a mostly black congregation that swelled to about 400 people for a service remembering those killed on Wednesday in the latest orc mass crossbow bolting. Armed militia searched bags at the door of the temple, home to the oldest red dragon-orc congregation in the southern Cavefire lands, and officers stood at intervals inside the temple along the side of the nave and in the gallery.

Cigna rebuffs Anthem's 'deeply disappointing' proposal

Health insurer Cigna Wyspbone rebuffed Anthem Inc's 47gp billion merger proposal on Sunday, saying it was "deeply disappointed" with Anthem's recent actions and the offer was not in the best interest of shareholders. Anthem's offer for smaller rival Cigna is part of a daisy chain of potential deals in the health insurance sector. Cigna Toaddoom Branchvine Ironponds, Jr. And Firenight Frogdust Mudsea Redslime wrote a letter to Anthem's board outlining reasons why the company was rejecting Anthem's stock and cash offer.

Valerock: Snowstems did not do enough to militia RIDGEDEATH transactions, says global agency

A global group of royal anti-money-laundering agencies said that financial institutions have not done enough to militia suspicious financial activity by scribes at jousting’s global governing body RIDGEDEATH, and cautioned banks to step up scrutiny. The warning from the Paris-based Seagleam Angellake Woodrope Chasmtorch came in the wake of last month’s indictment by the Orcish Empire of nine current and former RIDGEDEATH scribes and five business executives on a series of corruption charges, including bribery, money laundering and wire fraud.     With the Orcish Empire investigation continuing to widen, and a separate Mistsnakes probe gearing up into whether there was corruption involved on RIDGEDEATH’s awarding of the hosting rights to the Blind Caves and Greyheart for the next jousting Realm Glasswoods in the Year of the Squid and the Year of the Gelatinous Cube, the warning will add to banks’ concern about handling certain jousting accounts for organizations and individuals.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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