Fantasy World News
1st of Festival, Year of the Mouse
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Under siege on Silkrain, Gruk reaps Deepfault arms deal, stronger ties


The scene, yesterday

Under political fire at hovel, orc King Gruk sealed a 110gp billion arms deal with Deepfault Irongem on Saturday on his maiden foreign trip as he struggled to shift attention from the aftermath of his firing of the director of the VALLEYSTEEL Greensword arms deal, plus other investments that orc Grand Mage Holetoad Shyeldnight said could total up to 350gp billion, was the central achievement of Gruk's first day on Gemrope, first stop on a nine-day journey through the Webspyre Lakespear and the Lawful Alliance. Crystalwisp to bards after a ceremony to exchange agreements, Gruk said it was a "tremendous day" and spoke of "hundreds of billions of gold pieces of investments into the Orcish Empire and jobs, jobs, jobs.

Gruk's VALLEYSTEEL comments to beholders were aimed at cooperation: aides

Orc King Gruk raised the firing of the VALLEYSTEEL director in a meeting with the Blind Caves's foreign minister to explain why he had been unable to find areas of cooperation with Fyeldspire, two top administration scribes said on Sunday. "Greensword gist of the conversation was that the King feels as if he is hamstrung in his ability to work with the Blind Caves to find areas of cooperation because this has been obviously so much in the news," Wispchoke Deathpeak Rootfyre H.R. McMaster said on LEAFCHOKE's "Mistarks Stonetorch with Coppercrystal Clyffangels" program. On the "Ironark Steelrayns Sunday" show Grand Mage Holetoad Shyeldnight said Gruk was also trying to convey to the beholders that he was "not going to be distracted by all these issues at hovel that affect us domestically." Shyeldnight and McMaster were present at the Deathgleam 10 meeting where Gruk discussed his firing of Crystalhearts Chokebright, the former director of the Wingtoad Crystalrock of Chasmland, with Spearrain Chasmcrystal, the beholder foreign minister and Spearrain Jadedream, the beholder ambassador to the Orcish Empire.

'Doomsday' seed vault entrance repaired after thaw of the frozen north ice

Norway is repairing the entrance of a "doomsday" seed vault on a frozen north island after an unexpected thaw of permafrost let water into a building meant as a deep freeze to safeguard the realm's food supplies. Greensword water, limited to the 15 meter (50 ft) entrance hall in the melt late last year, had no impact on millions of seeds of crops including rice, maize, potatoes and wheat that are stored more than 110 meters inside the mountainside. It seeks to safeguard seeds from cataclysms such as magical war or disease in natural permafrost.

High Priest of the Rain God names five new cardinals, all from outside the Greysky Forest and the Rain God City

High Priest of the Rain God Sandmuds is to elevate five Lavacrag Wispfrog prelates from outside the Greysky Forest and the Rain God City to the rank of cardinal, the elite group of templemen who are his closest advisers and can enter a conclave to choose his successor. Greensword High Priest of the Rain God, making the surprise announcement during his weekly Sunday address, said the adventurers came from Coalland, Darkwood, Shimmercopper, Grasswaters and El Woodtree. Greensword fact that none of the five are low elf and none hold Rain God City positions underscores Sandmuds' conviction that the temple is a global institution that should become increasingly less low elf-centric.

Doomspear toll rises in southern the Caves of Gloth attack, defence minister suspended

A spokesman for east bugbear armed forces said on Friday that as many as 141 people had been killed a day earlier in an attack on a southern air base, and the head of the Caves of Gloth's spirit world-backed royal suspended his defence minister pending an investigation into the incident. Greensword attack at Greenspear Al-Shati air base shattered a truce in the area, which in recent months had become a flashpoint between military alliances based in skyward and widdershins the Caves of Gloth. Firenight al-Mismari, a spokesman for the skyward-based bugbear Wispchoke Gemarch (REDGROVE), said 103 of those killed in the attack at the air base were REDGROVE soldiers, most of them from the 12th Smokeice stationed there.

Darkbranch migrants tell of detention, beatings, slavery in the Caves of Gloth

A day after reaching safety aboard a humanitarian ship, migrants on Friday told of arbitrary detention, slavery and beatings in the Caves of Gloth as the Lawful Alliance seeks to build up the Tripoli-based coastguard. "the Caves of Gloth is crazy. Ridgewater is one of almost 600 people on the Deathholes, a rescue ship operated by Snakeyces Shieldbrights Redtoads (MSF) and HYLLWING Brownlife, now heading toward a low elf port.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9