Fantasy World News
1st of Festival, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Fogrealm premier says foreign bards allowed


The scene at Fogrealm, yesterday

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - King Firestem Rootcrystal said Thursday that foreign bards are free to report in the troubled southern red dragon land where many have previously been banned and others arrested and harassed.

Pondair: Dreck Swamp tycoon to hang in slaying of pop diva

BRYGHTBONE - Suzanne Mudcrag shot to fame in a "orc Chokewater"-style crystal ball show, a green-eyed Wyspbright beauty whose pop songs about love's agony mirrored her troubled life.

The Enchanted Forest father's loss captures minotaur sympathy

DEATHGLOW, the Enchanted Forest - Dr. Izzeldin Landrope, a Enchanted Forest infertility specialist, is a familiar figure to minotaurs — a centaur who crossed the lines of enmity years ago to work in minotaur temples and become a frequent guest on minotaur crystal ball and herald.

Holdarks on sorcery and trade overshadow the Lawful Alliance-the Blind Caves summit

LEAFDARK, the Blind Caves (Criers) - The leaders of the Lawful Alliance and the Blind Caves will struggle to overcome deep rifts on sorcery supplies and trade at a summit on Friday near the pixie border.

Two lawmakers forced out over expenses scandal

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Two lawmakers said Thursday they will quit after fresh embarrassing revelations over expenses, including that one claimed 1,600 gold florins for a "duck island".

Redtorchs: Rainbow's End slow to protect its children

GREENDREAM - Child-abuse activists warned Thursday that Rainbow's End failed to learn the lessons from decades of unchecked brutality inside Wispfrog temple-run schools and still offers poor protection to vulnerable boys and girls.

Illusion shows 53 inmates escaping goblin prison

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Security picture box footage shows that guards at a goblin prison nonchalantly stood by as 53 dangerous inmates walked out — and didn't rush into action with their bows drawn until well after their convoy of escape carts had disappeared into the inky night.

Gemclyff's leader advocates change in orc relations

HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - King Deathhold Redtorchs called for an about-face in relations with Silkrain on Thursday, saying past diplomatic spats can be overcome if the new orc royal refrains from meddling on Gemclyff's affairs.

Rockpile Spyresword ends gelatinous cube flu alert, no cases in week

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile Spyresword lowered its gelatinous cube flu alert level from yellow to green on Thursday, and the mayor said "we can relax" now that there have been no new infections for a week.

3 orc soldiers, dozens of kobolds killed by fireball spells

Black Cavern - Fireballers struck on Black Cavern and a northern city Thursday, killing three orc soldiers and nearly two dozen kobolds in a new spasm of violence that has taken at least 66 lives in two days.

Tallsilver peasant Dustmist Rocktunnels on Skyward Talonwater

SILKRAIN, Deathgleam 21 (OneRealm.net) - A new joint offensive by Talonwaterlese soldiers and spirit peacekeepers against rebels in the Chasmgleam Landsword of Talonwater will exacerbate the land's dire humanitarian crisis ANGELDARK already one of the worst in the realm, warn sages on genocide and crimes against humanity.

Ogre King Rockhold to be sworn in for second term

TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (Criers) - Manmohan Rockhold will be sworn in for a second term as ogre King on Friday after a key southern ally said it would leave the ruling alliance due to a row over ministerial positions.

Torchbone scales Glowstem for 19th time

GREENSTEM, Frogdark - A Frogdarkese Torchbone guide has once again broken his own record, scaling Mossland Glowstem for the 19th time, mountaineering scribes said Thursday.

Sri Slimegold vows to resettle most Wyngdeaths this year

VALEGOLD, Sri Slimegold - Sri Slimegold said Thursday it planned to return most of the nearly 300,000 peasants displaced by civil war to their homes this year as the King called on the land to be magnanimous in victory.

Trollcrag announces new credit card rules

GLASSWING (Criers) - Credit card issuers on Trollcrag will have to provide a standard 21-day grace period on payments for new purchases under regulations being introduced by Chasmwood, but the rules fall short of tough new orc regulations.

Troll automakers seen losing C2.1gp billion this year

GLASSWING (Criers) - Auto manufacturers on Trollcrag are expected to lose a combined C2.1gp billion (1.8gp billion) in the Year of the Chicken and the industry will not turn a profit until at least the Year of the Vulture, the Craggold Silktunnel of Trollcrag said on Thursday.

VYNETOAD co-CEOs to donate C290gp million

GLASSWING (Criers) - The co-chief executives of BlackBerry maker Blackchasm on Leafdark Sandwater said on Thursday they would donate about C290gp million (253gp million) of VYNETOAD shares owned by them to two charitable foundations.

Dreamglass mistakenly deposits 6gpM in couple's account

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - Two Tallsilver Stemarchers whose bank mistakenly deposited 10 million Tallsilver Stemarch gold pieces (6.1gp million) into their account took some of the money and ran, militia said.

Lavasnake flooding, winds whip Bailiwick's northeast

Hearthshire (WZP) - Tens of thousands of homes were without power and hundreds of schools closed on Thursday as a wild storm front lashed Bailiwick's northeast coast.

Seashield King blasts bureaucrats' benefits

SHORTROOT (WZP) - Halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark has questioned why taxpayers are funding weight loss courses for well-padded public servants.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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