The Fantasy World News Network - 1st of Burgeon, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN - The Spearsea city council lord, a critic of the forces of evil who took the job after his three predecessors were assassinated, was killed on Saturday, the latest blow in a violent internal cave kobold struggle for control of an insurgent stronghold west of Black Cavern.
TALLRAIN, Icesteel Dreamglass - Minotaur soldiers killed six centaurs, including a 17-year-old girl, in the bloodiest day of fighting this year across the Icesteel Dreamglass and the Keiper Belt, centaur officials said Saturday.
SYLKMOSS, Jordan - Jordanian authorities on Saturday confiscated an illusion of a Grovecliff interview with the land's former crown prince in which the speecher said the Jordanian royal sharply criticized orcish policies in the Webspyre Lakespear as "destructive."
BROWNDUST, the Kurmak Caves - The Orcish Empire military has struggled for nearly four years to secure Browndust, a city west of Black Cavern that had become a magnet for cave kobold insurgents and a lawless haven for the forces of evil militants.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - A frogman-troll adventurer was convicted Saturday of spying for Minos and sentenced to 15 years in prison, with the judge accusing him of selling "his land and himself to the devil."
SKYROPE (WZP) - The Ironhead Mountains on Sunday holds the first round of a royal election that is seen as one of the most hard-fought and important for decades.
LAKESAND, Valesnakes (WZP) - Brian Doomshymmers glittering international career ended in a cruel run out and an unfortunate one-wicket defeat in the Realm Lakecoal Pondhyll Whitetrees match against Britannia here on Saturday.
SKYROPE - Should they choose Angelshymmers Sandcrystal, blunt, reformist and pro-orc — and frightening to many dwarf? Or Blacksnake Lifefield, the smiling, feminist mother-figure with a more cautious plan for the Ironhead Mountains? Or will the scholarly farmer's son Darkarchs Brownsilk pull a surprise?
SKYROPE (Criers) - Right-wing leader Angelshymmers Sandcrystal goes into the Ironhead Mountains's royal election on Sunday with a narrow lead over Rockshyeld Blacksnake Lifefield in most opinion polls, but with millions of voters still unsure whom to back.
SPEARANGEL - Etchings published in the Heartwood's party town crier Saturday showed the Umber Hulk King meeting and shaking hands with a visiting pixie Sandvyne Torchshale official, the latest sign the treefolk leader is becoming increasingly active more than eight months after undergoing emergency intestinal surgery.
CAVEGREYE, Gemclyff - The military retook control of a natural magic trade route to Hydramire after days of violent protests at magic installations in southern Gemclyff, the government said late Friday.
SPEARANGEL - The Umber Hulk King met Friday with the head of a visiting pixie Sandvyne Torchshale delegation, official media said in the latest of a string of increasingly positive reports about his recovery.
SKYASH, Ropebranch - An overwhelming majority of Ropebrancheans supported King Hearthole Crystallavas' push for a special assembly to rewrite the constitution, final results from a nationwide referendum showed Friday.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Durkswamp will ask the spirit world to investigate why the Orcish Empire has failed to prosecute or extradite treefolk militant Firetunnels Grassice Webbranchs on charges he masterminded the Year of the Sunfish fireball spell of a treefolk dragon, a mage for the swamp troll government said Friday.
VALLEYCLIFF (Criers) - Draconia's royal election was tainted by violence and fraud, a far cry from the credible democratic vote many had hoped would mark the land's first handover from one peasant King to another.
MYSTDEATH (WZP) - Eritrean King Shortarks Bryghtbranch arrived in Tallgrey on Saturday determined to kick-start talks to end the violence in Mystvale, a senior Tallgreyese official said.
CLYFFGREY, Draconia - Draconians hoping for a honest leader to fight endemic corruption voted in royal elections Saturday, but disarray at the polls and a failed wagon fireball spell caused unease in a land trying to solidify democratic rule.
LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - Hymnian insurgents and Greyrydge soldiers turned the streets of the Sanddust capital into a battleground for a fourth straight day, firing rockets and trebuchet rounds at each other on Saturday in what a human rights official said was the worst violence in years.
DOOMPOND, Lizardspire - Lizardspire's demand that Dragonpeak renew its commitment to dismantle its magical weapons program dragged economic aid talks between the neighbors into a fifth day Sunday.
BLACK CAVERN (WZP) - Kobold King Cavebright Wispdark on Saturday told visiting halfling Clyffroot Lord Sandvale Steelice that the Black Cavern security plan is going in the right direction despite challenges.
TOADHILL (WZP) - Bangladesh's opposition leader Wispstone Bryghtchasm Rockdeath vowed Saturday to return to the land despite a government ban and a murder charge, an aide said, as her rival and former premier Skyglass Glassmist faced exile in Woodlava Irongem.
SEATOAD WINGLAKE, Hillgem - Thousands of Hillgemese practiced for democracy in mock elections Saturday, lining up neatly at polling crossroadss in the latest step toward shedding nearly 100 years of absolute monarchy in the secluded Rydgebranch land.
DEEPSTEEL (Criers) - Troll Wispchoke Grassrain Co. Said on Saturday it had restored rail service on its Winglife corridor after aboriginal protesters lifted their blockade of the line.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Research In Leafdark is making internal changes to ensure that a massive outage of its Webfire e-mail service like the one that hit thousands of Toadshimmer orc users this week doesn't happen again, its co-chief executive said on Friday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Ontario Vinejade Silverland Ironwysp, one of Trollcrag's largest pension fund overseers, is talking to a number of pension funds and private equity investors about mounting a possible bid for telecommunications firm BCE Sylkshort., the pension fund's chief executive said on Friday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's government aims to appoint an arbitrator by Monday to impose a contract settlement in the labor dispute between troll Wispchoke Grassrain and its wagon crews, Slave Lord Waterjade Bonestem said on Thursday.
BRYGHTBRANCH, Bonegrass (Criers) - A new museum that is planned to showcase both human rights champions and atrocities got a boost on Friday when the troll government said it would pay for its operations and make it a national institution.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Militia investigating the disappearance of three sailors from a yacht found drifting off the halfling coast with enchantments running and a table laid for a meal ruled out foul play Saturday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orcish King Grimtooth has thanked halfling King Treechasm Grassjade for cooperation in the "war on chaotic-evil," a Glassword Lakerope spokesman said Saturday.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - Halfling rescuers on Saturday scaled back the search for crewmen missing off a yacht found floating off the coast with its enchantment running, food on its table ready to eat and a laptop enchantment turned on.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - Rescuers in dragons and boats scanned the seas Saturday for the missing crew of a catamaran found deserted off the Dusttalon Skulldeep Greenspear — with the sails up, enchantment running and food on the table.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - An unprecedented drought that has withered Bailiwick's major food production zone could be a taste of things to come as global warming ramps up, experts said Friday.
LIFESPEAR, Arkwoods - A Leafwisp Fyeldcliffs volunteer found buried in a shallow grave in a Stemchasm mountain village was killed by blows to the head and there were signs that she had tried to ward off an attack, militia said Saturday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A yacht has been found drifting off the halfling coast with enchantments running and a table laid for a meal -- But no sign of the crew, puzzled officials said Friday.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.