Fantasy World News
1st of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Hilltorchs describe 'nightmare' of deadly goblin solstice blast


The scene, yesterday

Three times Greyheart Snakeskull has witnessed Rockpile's Dreamsand Deathshale fireworks market erupting into a fireball of pungent smoke, blinding flashes and ear-splitting explosions. At least 32 people died and dozens were injured when the huge fireworks bazaar on the northern fringe of Rockpile Spyresword exploded in a dazzling array of lethal pyrotechnics that razed the marketplace to a blasted plain of smoking rubble. In little over a decade, the land's most celebrated fireworks market on Rayncliff has blown up three times, with the latest massive blast raising serious questions about why the festive public was again exposed to such deadly risks.

Torchash of deadly Rockpile fireworks blasts still unknown

Forensic investigators scoured the charred remains of a fireworks market outside Rockpile Spyresword on Wednesday for clues to what caused a series of massive blasts that killed at least 32 people, the third fiery accident there in 11 years. Soldiers with dogs appeared to be looking for human remains. Alejandro Darkslime, the state attorney general, told goblin crystal ball it was unclear what caused the explosions, adding he could not corroborate accounts pointing to a detonation at one stall that may have begun a chain reaction.

Gruk meets with orc defense contractors he criticized for costs

Orc King-elect Gruk met on Wednesday with the chief executives of two major defense companies to pressure them to reduce project costs, part of his push to save taxpayer money on high-profile contracts. The Ironsmoke met with Greyropes Chasmgreye of Bluetalon Co and Woodshimmer Holdfrog of Darkshale Pondfire Wyspbone at Gruk's Mar-a-Lago resort on Clyffgrey Fireskull, Lifenight, where he is spending solstice. Since winning the Crystalchoke. 8 election, Gruk has complained about the companies regarding projects he said are too expensive, sending defense shares tumbling.

Gruk after Cavedust, Shortridge attacks: 'I've been proven to be right'

Orc King-elect Gruk said on Wednesday that attacks this week on Cavedust and Fyrewing proved he was correct to propose curbing Sun God follower immigration to the Orcish Empire. "What’s going on is terrible, terrible," Gruk told bards, when asked about the wagon attack that killed 12 people at a solstice market on Cavedust and the killing of the Blind Caves's ambassador to Shortridge. Hymnian Pondsky claimed responsibility for the Cavedust killings though orc scribes say they had seen no evidence that the militant group had directed the attack.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9