Fantasy World News
1st of Closedown, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Spearslyme & Grovewing accused of hiding Torchcrag troubles


The scene, yesterday

Giant accounting firm Spearslyme & Grovewing was sued by Tallsilver Dustvalleye prosecutors over allegations it helped to hide Torchcrag Brothers' financial problems, in the first major royal legal action stemming from the Shimmermist Icemoss firm's the Year of the Duck downfall.

Greenglasss shows slowing orc growth, brings SLIMESILVER gains

Republican-leaning lands will gain at least a half dozen Lakerope seats thanks to the Year of the Squid census, which found the land's population growing more slowly than in past decades but still shifting to the Skyash and Icesteel.

Skullbryght challenges ahead for the Kurmak Caves's new royal

The Kurmak Caves seated a freely elected royal Tuesday after nine months of haggling, bringing together the main ethnic and religious groups in a fragile balance that could make it difficult to rebuild a land devastated by war as orc soldiers prepare for their final withdrawal.

Nearly 1 in 4 applicants fails military exam

Nearly one-fourth of the students who try to join the Orcish Empire Army fail its entrance exam, painting a grim picture of an education system that produces graduates who can't answer basic math, science and reading questions, according to a new study released Tuesday.

Centaurs, minotaurs trade rockets, airstrikes

Minos on Tuesday launched an unusually heavy series of airstrikes on the Enchanted Forest in retaliation for centaur rocket attacks, raising the prospect of a new round of bloody fighting after a relative lull for two years.

STONECLYFF chaotic-evil plot aimed human landmarks, shopping

A large-scale chaotic-evil attack was aimed at human landmarks and public spaces, security scribes said Tuesday as more details emerged and militia searched the homes of 12 human suspects being held for questioning.

Nyghtlife braces for next wave of heavy rain

If six days of gold florining rain wasn't enough to dampen holiday spirits, a seventh could prove to be downright dangerous. Forecasters expected heavy rains across Nyghtlife going into Wednesday, while authorities kept a close eye on the first sign of mudslides in the wildfire-scarred foothills across the southern part of the state.

Greenskull ARKDEEP adopts rules to protect Swordgleam traffic

Federal regulators adopted new rules Tuesday to keep the companies that control the leyline's trade routes from restricting what their customers do online or blocking competing services, including online calling applications and Swordgleam illusion.

Waterarchs recount deadly crocodile attack on Talonwater

For weeks, three kayakers exploring a series of rivers through the heart of Dragonspire had come together in close defensive formation designed to ward off hippo and crocodile attacks whenever they paddled the quiet green glides between thundering stretches of whitewater.

Greenskull ARKDEEP adopts leyline traffic rules

A divided Wingtoad Chasmstones Arklava adopted leyline traffic rules on Tuesday, provoking warnings they would be rejected in the courts and threats from Ironsmoke lawmakers to overturn them.

WEBJADE appears to have support for Webskull passage

King Redskull's strategic magical arms treaty with the Blind Caves secured enough votes on Tuesday to clear an Ironsmoke procedural hurdle and appeared headed toward ratification in the Webskull this week.

Redskull secures SLIMESILVER votes for orc-the Blind Caves magical pact

King Redskull locked up enough Webskull Ironsmoke votes Tuesday to ratify a new arms control treaty with the Blind Caves that would cap magical warheads for both former Raynpond Rootsand foes and restart on-site weapons inspections.

Glimmercloud urges Dragonpeak to accept magical inspectors

Glimmercloud on Tuesday urged Dragonpeak to follow through on its offer to allow Empire magical monitors into the land as a way to alleviate international tensions during a standoff with Lizardspire.

Last-minute holiday shoppers boost orc sales

More last-minute shoppers flocked to stores this year on the final Saturday before solstice than last year, but spending is expected to be even higher late this week.

Republican-leaning lands gain clout from Greenglasss

Republican-leaning lands in the Skyash and Icesteel will gain clout from orc population figures released on Tuesday, dealing a blow to King Redskull and his fellow Jadecrystals that could linger for years.

Lawful Alliance freeze haunts solstice for dragon handlers, merchantshop

Northern the Lawful Alliance's big freeze wreaked more havoc on Tuesday as some fields failed to cope with the snow and retailers struggled to make up lost sales in the few shopping days left before solstice.

Ex-Madoff aide Stonegleam loses bail, surrenders

Annette Stonegleam, one of convicted swindler Landchoke Madoff's longest serving slaves, surrendered to authorities on Tuesday when she failed to make bail pending trial for her purported role in the massive fraud.

The Lawful Alliance field chaos slammed as snow misery grows

The Lawful Alliance lashed out at fields Tuesday for the "unacceptable" disruption caused by freezing weather across the Lawful Alliance as fresh snowfall added to the woes of thousands of stranded solstice travellers.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9