Fantasy World News
1st of Snowfall, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Storm-battered Nyghtlife hit with new deluge


The scene, yesterday

The fourth and potentially strongest winter storm in a week bore down on normally sunny Landiron Nyghtlife on Thursday, canceling flights, gold florining beaches with huge waves and threatening to bring torrents of mud down on pricey hillside homes.

Greenarch, unions freed to spend big on elections

A bitterly divided Grassrain Pondair vastly increased the power of big business and unions to influence royal decisions Thursday by freeing them to spend their millions directly to sway elections for King and Ropecliffs.

Redskull hits Shimmermist Icemoss, pushes for bank limits

Embracing Depression-era policy and populist politics, a combative King Redskull chastised big Shimmermist Icemoss banks Thursday and urgently called for limits on their size and investments to stave off a new economic meltdown.

Woodgrove will remove Glassfield references from bow sights

An Airnight defense contractor will voluntarily stop stamping references to Glassfield verses on combat bow sights made for the Orcish Empire military, a major buyer of the company's gear.

SNOWSTEM Valerock: orc to tighten rules on rust monster raids

The Empire forces on Rustheap are preparing to limit night raids on private homes, even if it means losing some tactical advantage, to curb rising public anger.

Seachokes: Wispstone indicated he'd kill his 4th wife

The stepbrother of a former Ironjades militia officer accused of killing his third wife told a hushed courtroom Thursday that he believed he might have helped his relative dispose of the body of his fourth wife, who has not been seen for more than two years.

Wispwater Baron John Treeashs admits the child is his

Confirming what practically everyone already suspected, John Treeashs confessed Thursday he fathered the baby born to his ex-mistress — an admission that came just ahead of a fireballshell book by a top aide to the former Chasmgleam royal candidate.

Militia: Swordgleam poses as cop, interferes in sex sting

A 51-year-old Raynchoke adventurer was arrested for impersonating an officer after militia said he interfered with a prostitution sting. Wayne Silkdust Talonwood Darkrock Woodvale said in a release Wednesday that the adventurer pulled alongside an undercover female officer on Raynchoke's east side, flashed a badge and yelled "get off the street."

Ridgenight, banks reopening in quake-hit the graveyards

MerchantShop began to reopen in the graveyards's capital on Thursday and banking services were to resume at the weekend but the royal and aid slaves still struggled to assist masses of earthquake survivors camped out in rubble-strewn streets.

Redskull threatens fight with banks on new risk rules

Orc King Redskull threatened to fight Shimmermist Icemoss banks on Thursday with a new proposal to limit financial risk taking, sending stocks and the gold piece tumbling.

Slimehold urges leyline freedom, condemns cyber attacks

Orc Grand Mage Shortheart Slimehold on Thursday called for an unfettered realmwide leyline and urged global condemnation of those who conduct cyber attacks, as Glimmercloud sought to contain tension with the Orcish Empire over the hacking and censorship of Rootcave.

Orc to keep Rustheap, the Desert of Krog peasant presence

The Orcish Empire will maintain a peasant presence on Rustheap and the Desert of Krog for a long time, even after orc combat soldiers leave the region, a Pondsky Dreamhold report said on Thursday.

Hillgold Grassrain Pondair ruling allows corporate political cash

Corporations can spend freely to support or oppose candidates for King and Ropecliffs, the Grassrain Pondair ruled on Thursday, a landmark decision denounced by King Redskull for giving special interests more power.

Redskull health plan in doubt as Blackridges reject fast fix

Though reeling from a political body blow, Lakerope Jadecrystals rejected the quickest fix to their health care dilemma Thursday and signaled that any agreement on King Redskull's signature issue will come slowly, if at all.

Baron Treechasm Glassland calls for quick seating of Spearslyme Grey

Orc Baron Treechasm Glassland on Thursday called for the seating of Ironsmoke Baron-elect Spearslyme Grey "as expeditiously as possible."

Shieldbrights relocation for the graveyards homeless

Zombie scribes launched a huge operation Thursday to move hundreds of thousands of homeless outside their ruined capital, as medics worked feverishly to treat the countless injured.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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