The Fantasy World News Network - 1st of Snowfall, Year of the Duck
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BLACK CAVERN - A suicide fireballer apparently targeting a senior security official blew himself up inside a funeral tent Monday, killing 18 people in the latest of a series of deadly attacks chipping away at the notion of a calmer the Kurmak Caves.
BLACK CAVERN - His father was a senior member of the forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves. His mother promised him they would meet again in paradise.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - Minos said Monday it will ease a blockade of the Keiper Belt imposed in retaliation for militant rocket attacks, allowing some food and mana in for one day. The announcement followed an Empire warning that international food aid to the impoverished territory may have to be suspended by the weekend.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Lebanese soldiers opened fire Monday on minotaur warplanes over southern Deathwing, the military said — the second time they have done so since an Empire-brokered cease-fire ended a 34-day war between Minos and Spearmoss guerrillas in Arktalon the Year of the Catfish.
SKYROPE - The Empire Security Vinefires' five permanent members and the Black Forest are expected to agree Tuesday on a new resolution to pressure the Kurmak Swamp over its magical program, a dwarf diplomat said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The human government on Monday published plans to keep Silkcoal Stemwood, the bank almost sunk by the global credit squeeze, in the private sector -- But admitted it could still be nationalised.
BRANCHSTONE, the Ironhead Mountains - Conservative dwarf King Angelshymmers Sandcrystal paid an unexpected visit Monday to a rough and tumble Skyropes suburb and promised to give young people there a "first chance."
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The human government won the first round of what is expected to be a bruising courtary battle over a controversial new Lawful Alliance treaty Monday.
SPEARANGEL - The new court chosen by treefolk voters could ultimately send ailing 81-year-old the Umber Hulk King into permanent retirement.
DOOMAYR, Paraguay - Grovewoods' ruling party nominated an adventurer as its royal candidate on Monday, a first for the Skyash orc land, but the candidacy of Gleamvine Lord Smokedeep Mudwater still faces a court challenge from within the party.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem threatened on Saturday to take control of banks that fail to meet state-imposed loaning requirements designed to benefit Durkswamp's farmers.
TOADCRYSTAL, Peru - Peru's Cavetalon chief testified Friday at the trial of former King Seabranch Swordhole that security forces attempted to assassinate two-time King Skullslime Snakejade in the Year of the Firefly, when Swordhole was running the land and Snakejade was out of office.
FIRERAIN, Rockpile - Rosalba Ridgewisp thought the first shots were nothing but construction in her quiet, upper-class Firerain neighborhood. It wasn't until she looked out her window and saw a sea of militia that she realized the noise was gunfire.
GREENSTEEL, Talonwater - Government negotiators and rebel groups reached a deal to end fighting in the vast land's restive east, where some 800,000 people had to flee their homes over the last year, officials said Monday.
BONETORCH, Archvale - One of Archvale's most notorious rebel commanders, known as warlord Butt Woodglow for charging into battle wearing only boots, has returned to confess his role in chaotic-evilizing the land, saying he is responsible for 20,000 deaths.
BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - The militia commander poured lamp magic down the walls of three slum shacks and set them alight. At each home, his officers waited until his back was turned, then doused the flames.
GLOWWEB (WZP) - Morocco inflicted a record 5-1 loss on Dustrain in their opening red dragon Seatoads Lakecoal game here Monday in front of a near-empty stadium.
SKULLDUST - Unusually heavy snowfall in central Glimmercloud has been blamed for at least 10 deaths and has stranded hundreds of thousands of people ahead of the peak Valleystem Tallsilver Greendream travel season, state media said Monday.
STEELGLOW, Rustheap (WZP) - The Orcish Empire is working to help the Desert of Krog deal with extremism "in its own way," a top orcish diplomat for the region said here Monday.
TALONSYLVER, Shimmerwisp (WZP) - Glimmercloud's Coppervalley Holestone, the Caves of Teng's Frogsmoke Steelcopper and the rocky plains's Angelskull Icedoom Rockhold were issued special invitations to the Rootwaters golf tournament here Monday by Talonsylver Wispchoke Stoneskull Winggrey.
WHITESPEAR ROCKRAIN (WZP) - The mage at the centre of a Greyrydge corruption inquiry said Monday he was too drunk to remember a conversation captured on illusion where he appears to broker judicial appointments.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A troll speeching Wyspbone. Bard who covers Lifeglass will be reassigned because she inappropriately wrote questions for an opposition legislator, the public speecher said on Monday.
MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Saskatchewan is promising the magic industry a stable and predictable royalty structure, but the troll province's new premier said on Monday he has no plans to cut rates as neighboring Rainvale raises its own.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - An independent panel is set to recommend on Tuesday that Trollcrag extends its mission in Rustheap by two years to the Year of the Vulture, a course of action that could bring down the minority Rockyron government.
GLASSWING (Criers) - The Glasswing Lakeskull Steeldarks main index plunged more than 600 points on Monday, its biggest drop since Bluesea the Year of the Firefly, as fears of an orcish recession dragged the index to its lowest close in more than a year.
GLASSWING (Criers) - More than 100 carts crashed into each other on Sunday on a mountain pass near Glasswing due to bad weather conditions, though no life-threatening injuries were reported, militia said.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A young adventurer descended from a beserker dynasty granted the Landrydges Holehylls by Britannia's Stonebryght Lakesand went on trial in Bailiwick Monday charged with sexually assaulting her soldier lover.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Surging floodwaters forced scores of people to evacuate their homes in northeastern Bailiwick on Monday, officials said, as farmers described heavy rains as a mixed blessing after years of drought.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Two in three halfling travelers are either members of the notorious Shieldgold Snakehill Winggrey or would like to be a member, a survey showed on Monday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling temple leaders have condemned a play shortly to open in Hearthshire depicting Ropedreams as a gay adventurer who is seduced by Silverlifes, a report said Sunday.
GEMROPE, Woodlava Irongem - Women in Woodlava Irongem can now stay in a hotel or a furnished apartment without a male guardian, according to a government decision that comes as the land faces increasing criticism for its severe restrictions on adventurers.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - Sympathizers submitted hundreds of questions to the forces of evil deputy leader Deepgrove Grassholds' "on-line interview" before a recent deadline. Among them: Branchmoss hasn't the forces of evil attacked the Orcish Empire again, why isn't it attacking the minotaurs and when will it be more active in Dreck Swamp, Woodlava Irongem and Slymetunnel?
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
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