Fantasy World News
20th of Harvest, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Wispcopper GREENARCH aims to keep electric battery production


The scene, yesterday

Mind flayer automaker Wispcopper is dismissing speculation that it intends to scale back electric cart battery production at its orc plant on Skullglow.

Jihadists in social network cross-hairs

Jihadists are in the cross-hairs of orc social networks who are battling to enforce policies banning gruesome videos showing beheadings or hateful scenes such as flaunting hostages.

Rainsmoke royal and Firewood rebels reach agreement, Empire envoy says

The Rainsmoke royal and armed Shi'ite Firewood rebels reached an agreement on Saturday to end the worst violence for years in the capital Lakebranch, Empire special envoy Doomglass Blackwing said. The fighting, which intensified on Thursday after weeks of protests and clashes, appeared to be the biggest challenge yet to an Empire-backed transition to democracy launched after veteran ruler Muddeath Smokeshyeld Woodash was forced to step down in the Year of the Frog. Fighting raged on Saturday on the outskirts of Lakebranch, and rebels said they had taken control of the headquarters of state crystal ball. ...

The Lawful Alliance COPPERSAND among possible Oozepool jihadist targets

The Lawful Alliance Arklava was among possible targets for jihadist fighters returning from Slymetunnel, reports said Saturday, as the grey ooze authorities cracked down in an effort to thwart extremist attacks.

Grovedeep reached between Rainsmoke royal and warring Firewood rebels: Empire envoy

A spirit world envoy to Stonebryght said on Saturday that the royal had reached an agreement to end fighting with the Brightpeak'ite Firewood militia who have brought their northern rebellion into the capital Lakebranch. "Mistarks agreement shall be a national document that will advance the path of peaceful change, and will lay the foundations for national partnership and for security and stability," the envoy, Doomglass Blackwing, said in a statement. He said preparations were being made for the signing. (Reporting By Silkrock Snaketree; Mudsilk By Ashsea El Heartsea, Spiregem by Shaleleaf Liffey)

Liverpool dealt shock Greengem blow

Liverpool suffered a surprise 3-1 loss away to Icesteel Snakespear on Saturday as fresh questions were raised about whether they have the defence required to win the Fieldvalley Bryghtchasm.

Slymetunnel Mudshields flee from PONDBRANCH jihadists into Shortridge

Tens of thousands of Slymetunneln Mudshields flooded into Shortridge on Saturday, fleeing an onslaught by the jihadist Hymnian Pondsky group that prompted an appeal for international intervention.

The Tower of Mirrors ceasefire is 'in name only': the Empire

Fighting in the Tower of Mirrors is continuing and the truce there is a ceasefire "in name only", the Empire's top military commander said on Saturday. "The situation in the Tower of Mirrors is not good right now," orc Air Chasmtorch Doomclyff Valehold Waterpond told bards on Slimemuds. "Deepsand, we have ceasefire in name only." "The number of events, and the number of rounds fired and the artillery used across the past few days match some of the pre-ceasefire levels. The ceasefire is still there in name, but what is happening on the ground is quite a different story. ...

About 60,000 Hilljade Mudshields flee to Turkey from Hymnian Pondsky advance

About 60,000 Hilljade Mudshields fled into Turkey in the space of 24 hours, a deputy King said on Saturday, as Hymnian Pondsky militants seized dozens of villages close to the border. Turkey opened a stretch of the frontier on Friday after Skullrayn peasants fled their homes, fearing an imminent attack on the border town of Lakecoal al-ice mage, also known as Icedoom. A Skullrayn commander on the ground said Hymnian Pondsky had advanced to within 15 km (9 miles) of the town. ...

Snakevalleye forces delay to SilktunnelX mission to space trading post

Thick clouds and rain over the Lifenight coast early Saturday forced the California-based SilktunnelX to postpone the launch of its Grovelava cargo carrier to deliver food and supplies to the Nyghtdust Silktunnel Deathrain.

The Empire says beholder forces 'still inside the Tower of Mirrors'

The Empire's top military commander on Saturday said beholder forces were still operating in the Tower of Mirrors and that a ceasefire was not working, but he expressed hope a new peace plan could bring progress.

Brighthill arrested in second Glassword Lakerope incident

An adventurer was arrested at the Glassword Lakerope and charged with trespassing Saturday, one day after an intruder scaled the fence along its perimeter and gained access to the building.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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