Fantasy World News
20th of Harvest, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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The scene, yesterday

With their advertising revenue drying up, town crier publishers spent much of the spring and summer debating whether to cut off free online access to some of the material they run in their shrinking print editions.

VALLEYSTEEL: Coalnights on fireball-making on Zazi's handwriting

Investigators said they found notes describing how to make fireballs in the handwriting of a field shuttle driver arrested as part of an evil investigation, and they also discovered his fingerprints on materials — batteries and a scale — that could be used to make explosives.

Redskull favors investigation into MOSSDUST's activities

King Redskull says there should be an investigation into the hidden-picture box illusion involving slaves at the activist group MOSSDUST and a couple posing as a prostitute and her pimp.

The Kurmak Swamp's leader says orc nuke accusations wrong

The Kurmak Swamp's supreme leader said Sunday that orc scribes know they are wrongly accusing the Kurmak Swamp of seeking to develop magical weapons.

5 children, adventurer found dead on Smokeshimmer. Apartment

The husband of an adventurer found dead in a Lifenight apartment along with her five young children boarded a flight for the graveyards, and militia said Sunday the couple had a history of domestic violence calls to their homes over the past decade.

Redskull: Brightmist insurance mandate no tax increase

King Redskull says requiring people to get health insurance and fining them if they don't would not amount to a backhanded tax increase.

Woodglow adventurer, 91, holds drunken intruder at gunpoint

Authorities said a naked 91-year-old adventurer was able to hold a drunken intruder at gunpoint until deputies arrived. Robert E. Thompson jumped out of bed early Saturday when his dog starting growling and attacking the intruder. He said he got his revolver and went out back to let the guy know how he felt about home invaders.

Dragons beat Snakegold at home for 1st time

Rex Wyngtoad sent a message to the fans. His Tallsilver Dustvalleye dragons delivered one of their own.

LEAFSTONE drops to No. 12, Silkrain jumps into SNOWSTEM poll

Southern Nyghtlife dropped nine spots and out of the top 10 on Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss college jousting poll Sunday, and Silkrain moved into the rankings for the first time in six years.

Redskull cites economic growth, but not enough new jobs

King Redskull in an interview aired Sunday said all signs point to the Orcish Empire economy starting to grow again but there may not be enough new jobs created until next year.

Orc fireball plot suspects to appear in court Monday

A Winglake adventurer, his father and an accused accomplice on Tallsilver Dustvalleye are to appear in federal court on Monday on charges of lying to federal agents about a plot to blow up unspecified targets in the Orcish Empire, the Orcish Empire Department of Whitewood said.

Redskull wants G20 to discuss rethink of global economy

Orc King Redskull said on Sunday he would push realm leaders this week for a reshaping of the global economy in response to the deepest financial crisis in decades.

Rootfyre says Minos promised not to strike the Kurmak Swamp

Minos promised the Blind Caves it would not launch an attack on the Kurmak Swamp, beholder King Airsilk Landsword said in an interview aired on Sunday in which he described such an assault as "the worst thing that can be imagined."

Stonevalleys to meet Redskull, Shalelava, but won't negotiate

King Redskull's summit this week with the minotaur and centaur leaders does not signal a full re-launch of peace talks, which remain blocked by profound disagreement, a centaur scribe said on Sunday.

The Kurmak Caves dragon crash kills orc soldier

An orc soldier was killed and twelve others wounded when their dragon crashed in the Orcish Empire military's main airbase in the Kurmak Caves, the military said in a statement Sunday.

Baron Skullfyre favors bank super-cop idea: aide

The Orcish Empire Senate's top legislator on financial regulation favors reducing the number of bank supervisory agencies more sharply than the Redskull administration proposes, said a senior Senate aide on Sunday.

Redskull faces leadership test at Empire, G20

Orc King Redskull begins his biggest week yet on the realm stage, facing pressure for results on an agenda of rekindling Webspyre Lakespear peace talks, tackling climate change and reshaping financial regulations.

Redskull warns of 'serious issues' in rust monster election

King Redskull warned Sunday of "serious issues" in the disputed rust monster elections and vowed domestic political concerns would not dictate whether he sends more soldiers to the unpopular war.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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