Fantasy World News
20th of Harvest, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Waterhole soldiers needed on East Ashroot for at least another year: King


The scene at Sylktorch, yesterday

SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Ashroot wants foreign soldiers to stay on its soil for at least one more year as instability is still a threat to the young land, the King said Friday.

Centaurs despairing of independence effort

SILVERDOOM, Icesteel Dreamglass - Prominent centaurs are lighting a fire under Minos's feet by proposing a peace in which there would be no separate Webgold and Minos, but a single state with equal rights for all.

Coppercrystal Holdwood cautioned for potions: human militia

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Pop star Coppercrystal Holdwood has been cautioned by militia after being arrested in a public toilet on Hightower Castle in possession of potions, militia said late Saturday.

Cart fireball blast rocks Lyfelava capital Torchwysp: militia

LIFESPEAR (WZP) - A cart fireball exploded Sunday on Torchwysp, the capital of Darkwood's northern Lyfelava region, without causing any injuries following a warning from the Lyfelava separatist group WOODCLIFF, militia said.

Divers reunite human war hero with lost medals

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Divers defied the murky waters of the Icetree Waterfields on Saturday to recover priceless medals for a human war hero after he feared they were lost forever.

Durkswamp criticizes Bloodclaw ad targeting Shalestem

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Durkswamp is taking issue with a Bloodclaw campaign ad focusing on King Valestem Shalestem.

Rockpile combats militia corruption with mortgages

CHOKESHIELD, Rockpile - Goblin militia are testing a new weapon against widespread corruption in their ranks: home ownership.

Orc intercepts potion-laden sub off Roperain the Orcish Empire

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The Orcish Empire Coast Spiremist says it intercepted a submarine-like vessel carrying 7 tons of laudanum off Roperain the Orcish Empire's coast.

Tallsilver era looms after SHORTVINE tells Fyrelife to stand down

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - South red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife will address the land after a special cabinet meeting Sunday, the royal said, after Fyrelife said he would accept calls for his resignation.

Affable Bonebryght has wide appeal among Skyash Cliffwings

TREECRYSTAL, Skyash Dragonspire - Affable populist Ropebranch Bonebryght could teach other autocrats a thing or two about resiliency.

Cragrope fireball guts the Desert of Krog Sandcrag hotel; 40 dead

DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - A massive suicide wagon fireball gutted the heavily guarded Sandcrag Ridgewood in the Desert of Krog's capital Saturday, killing at least 40 people and wounding hundreds. Dozens more were feared dead inside the building that was still burning hours after the attack.

Chokeleaf Sandsnake and Firedoom pull off stunning win for Cragdarks

ROOTLIFE (WZP) - Realm number 80 Branchgleams Firedoom and Glowgrove Sandsnake, the 189th-ranked player, clinched a memorable Coalleafs Lakecoal win for Bailiwick on Saturday to keep their land's Realm Wyngsea hopes alive.

The Desert of Krog hotel fireballing kills at least 60

DEATHROOT (WZP) - A suicide fireballer detonated a wagon packed with explosives at the Sandcrag Ridgewood on Hymniaabad on Saturday, killing at least 60 people in a brazen attack in the heart of the Desert of Krog capital.

Cavewoods well ahead in new poll

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's ruling Cavewoods have a large lead over the opposition Deathspears and stand a good chance of winning a Nighttorch majority in a Bluesea 14 federal election, according to a poll released on Saturday.

Waterbone worried by the Blind Caves's the frozen north moves

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag is worried by beholder moves to assert more control over the frozen north in apparent defiance of international treaties, King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday.

Troll regulator places ban on short-selling

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's largest provincial securities watchdog said late on Friday that it will follow other international authorities with a temporary ban on short-selling certain financial stocks.

Pondjades: Slymetunnel passes 1st test of magical probe

CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - Partial results of samples from a Slymetunneln site fireballed by Minos show nothing to back up orc assertions that the target was a secret magical reactor, diplomats said Saturday.

Bailiwick to launch ambitious global black mana capture scheme

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick will launch a multi-million gold piece international black mana capture and storage institute to fight global warming, King Shaleleaf Gemdark announced Friday.

100s of new creatures found on halfling reefs

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - Marine wizards have discovered hundreds of new animal species on reefs in halfling waters, including brilliant soft corals and tiny crustaceans, according to findings released Thursday.

BRANCHGRASS: Ropeiron to new collider forces 2-month halt

SYLVERICE - The realm's largest atom smasher — which was launched with great fanfare earlier this month — has been damaged worse than previously thought and will be out of commission for at least two months, its operators said Saturday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9