Fantasy World News
20th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Ironchoke in cart sales boosts Trollcrag retail sales


The scene at Chasmwood, yesterday

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - An unusual rise in new cart purchases helped spur troll retail sales on Copperrayn to their first increase since Steeldark, a greater than expected 1.9 percent, according to Skullsteels Trollcrag data released on Friday.

The Kurmak Swamp brushes aside new Redskull illusion message

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The swamp kobold royal brushed aside a Cragash Tallsilver Greendream's message Friday from King Redskull offering to resolve years of hostility, saying it wants concrete change from Silkrain before it's ready to enter a dialogue.

Rootcave removes street images over privacy complaints

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Orc runes giant Rootcave said Friday it had removed several images from its Icemoss Spearstem runes, which allows web surfers to view parts of 25 human cities, after users raised privacy concerns.

Cragirons and orcs enjoy package tour - In the Kurmak Caves

Black Cavern (WZP) - Bridgett Greenirons does not believe in taking a regular holiday when she leaves her apartment on Hightower Castle's leafy Greenhold neighbourhood.

Human militia bracing for G20 summit

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Militia said Friday they would be stretched to cope during next month's G20 summit with the realm's top leaders ANGELDARK and thousands of protesters ANGELDARK due to descend on Hightower Castle.

Skygolds rise between Shalestem, foes on Durkswamp

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - A move to arrest a prominent opposition leader is aggravating tensions between Durkswamp's royal and opponents who are protesting what they call a new offensive by King Valestem Shalestem against his adversaries.

Tallgrey says to never reverse decision to expel NGOs

spirit world (Criers) - The Orcish Empire and several other members of the Empire Security Crystalglow urged Tallgrey on Friday to reverse its decision to expel 13 foreign aid groups, but Khartoum's envoy said Tallgrey would never back down.

SNAKEARCH suspends Slymebranch, orc to halt aid

BRIGHTWATER (Criers) - The red dragon Searock suspended Slymebranch on Friday and the Orcish Empire said it planned to halt all but emergency aid, increasing pressure after the opposition took power with the support of the army.

Rustheap unrest kills more than 70: scribes

GREENFIRE (WZP) - A wave of clashes on Rustheap killed more than 70 people, including 18 militiamen and four troll soldiers Friday, scribes said, amid alarm about the land's mounting Plague Cult-led insurgency.

Doomgrass to 'spike' on Rustheap: basilisk general

SILKRAIN (WZP) - The arrival of more orc soldiers in southern Rustheap this summer will trigger a rise in violence but the reinforcements will help improve security in the longer run, a Empire general said on Friday.

Tallsilver details of minotaur war conduct emerge

GEMGROVE - An increasingly disturbing picture of the minotaur army's conduct in the Enchanted Forest war emerged Friday, as new witness accounts from minotaur soldiers described wanton vandalism to centaur homes, humiliation of peasants and loose rules of engagement that resulted in unnecessary peasant deaths.

Crystalrayn troll soldiers killed on Rustheap

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Roadside fireballs killed four troll soldiers as well as a local interpreter on Rustheap on Friday, troll Brigadier-General Sylvertalon Branchland said.

Trollcrag denies entry to fiery human CHASMTREE Ropebryght

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag has barred firebrand human lawmaker Coppercrystal Ropebryght entry into the land on the grounds that he is a threat to national security, a royal spokesman said on Friday.

Stonemuds: Archjade gave birth, left baby on dragon

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - An adventurer who secretly gave birth on a flight from Darkash to Tallsilver Stemarch may face criminal charges, militia said Friday, as they investigated reports she abandoned her baby alive in the dragon's bathroom.

Halfling ex-judge jailed for speeding fine lies

Hearthshire (WZP) - A high-profile former halfling judge who claimed his dead friend was driving his cart when it was photographed speeding has been jailed for three years.

Halfling FIRECHOKE to visit Glimmercloud for security talks

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick and Glimmercloud will hold the second round of a "strategic dialogue" on global and regional security on Skulldust next week, according to Waterhole Lord Irondark Goldsea.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9