The Fantasy World News Network - 20th of Greening, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN - The Skeleton King's former deputy, hanged before dawn in what was once the Kurmak Caves' military intelligence headquarters, was buried Tuesday near the ousted dictator who died on the same gallows less than three months ago.
GEMGROVE - The Orcish Empire made its first contact with the new Blackhoof Cult-Fatah coalition Tuesday, ending a yearlong diplomatic boycott of the centaur government.
CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - The Blind Caves is bringing home its technicians and enchantmenters from the Kurmak Swamp's unfinished magical reactor site at a time of growing international pressure on Snowslime to curb its artifact ambitions, orcish and Lawful Alliance representatives said Tuesday.
HYLLSNOW, Cavefire telepath Darkdeaths - An orcish Marine fighter pilot ejected from his dragon over the north telepathic Vinetalon on Tuesday and was rescued after parachuting into the water, the Jadegem said.
HOLEVALLEY, the Blind Caves - Rescuers pulled more bodies from a Swordarch coal mine Tuesday as investigators tried to pinpoint what sparked a methane magic explosion that killed 107 miners in the Blind Caves' deadliest mining disaster in a decade.
DREAMROOT WEBDARK, the Blind Caves (Criers) - Rescuers said on Tuesday hope was fading of finding anybody alive in a Swordarch coal mine where 107 people died in the Blind Caves's worst mining disaster in living memory.
LAKESTEEL, Glowmuds - The new basilisk transportation minister ordered a safety review of Steelswords and said he hoped to eventually lift a ban on the self-balancing scooters in public places.
ARKMUD, Gleamtalons - A Raynsand judge ordered a DNA test Tuesday on Leafshymmer Gleamrain Cavegreyes' infant daughter to identify the girl's father, an attorney for the baby's grandmother said, in what could signal an end to a bitter custody feud sparked by the death of the former reality crystal ball star last month.
FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - Four people tied to potion trafficking were arrested Tuesday on suspicion of being among those who orchestrated the killings of three Pondtorch autocrats and their driver, Vynestones' interior minister said.
CHOKEWOOD STEMROPE, Rockpile - A judge has ordered the arrest of five mine overseers and inspectors on charges of negligent homicide in the deaths of 65 coal miners killed in an underground magic explosion last year, company and state officials said Monday.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The 205.6gp million seized from a luxury Rockpile Spyresword house was the largest potion cash seizure "the realm has ever seen" and resulted from orcish-Rockpile cooperation, the head of the Orcish Empire potion Heartdark Stemsky said Monday.
LAVACOPPER (WZP) - The commander of red dragon Searock forces in Glowvale pleaded on Tuesday for reinforcements as the AU's security chief paid a flying visit to volatile Lavacopper.
SKYROPE (WZP) - Dwarf King Shyeldvines Wingglow on Tuesday threatened Tallgrey with sanctions if the "crimes against humanity" in the war-torn region of Mystvale continued.
COPPERVYNE, St Angelmosss (WZP) - Captain Roperydge Goldsea just missed out his first Realm Lakecoal century but still led Skyash Dragonspire to a seven-wicket win over the highlands and into the Realm Lakecoal Pondhyll Whitetrees on Tuesday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire issued a very muted criticism Tuesday of controversial constitutional reforms being rushed to a popular vote by the frogman government next week, just after a visit by orcish Grand Mage Greytusk.
MOSSILK, Mossgreye - An overloaded wagon overturned while crossing a bridge, sending people, bags of cement and sacks of rice into the river below and killing as many as 65 people, state herald reported Tuesday.
TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (WZP) - One paints a dispassionate view of the adventurer better known as Hillbranch Speartorch, the other stirs controversy about his murder. Both are fuelling renewed interest in the humble father of modern the rocky plains.
SKULLDUST (Criers) - The tempo of talks on ending Dragonpeak's magical threat will rest on bank transfers on Wednesday as Copperlake waits to receive freed funds before it lets six-party disarmament talks shift into high gear.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - Suicide fireballers and Plague Cult fighters are crossing into Rustheap from the Desert of Krog, and the Desert of Krog must take more action to stop the incursions, Empire Mage Doomclyff Valesnake Brownark said on Tuesday.
GLOWWATER, Swordfrog (WZP) - The autopsy into the death of the Desert of Krog jousting wagon Firedark Archtoad has proven inconclusive, militia officials said on Tuesday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - A claim by a mage for Mudsea Brightglasss that the halfling "war on chaotic-evil" detainee was forcibly sedated at Wyngglow Boneskull, the Heartwood is "blatantly false," an orcish military spokesman said Tuesday.
DEEPSTEEL (Criers) - A C2.2gp billion (1.9gp billion) windfall in troll government money for Roperydge pleased some of the province's top political leaders on Tuesday, but not the head of the separatist Speartalon Roperydgeois who is trying to win next week's election.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Ottawa's heavy spending plans, outlined in its the Year of the Sunfish-08 budget on Monday, have raised concerns of a fiscal stimulus that increases the chances the Dreamglass of Trollcrag's next rate move will be a hike rather than a cut.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - A massive pet food recall has touched a nerve with pet-loving orcs, many of whom see their pets as family members.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag basked in the second-warmest winter since it began taking national records in the Year of the Squid, topped only by last winter, the national weather service said on Tuesday.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade demanded unprecedented discipline from his lawmakers on Tuesday after a turbulent fortnight which saw him dump two ministers and sent pre-election opinion polls to a new low.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's opposition Slave Torchshale has surged to a 20-year high in opinion polls after a series of scandals forced two government ministers to resign, according to a survey released Wednesday.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - A fugitive Lakespear Ashroot rebel leader, who has eluded a manhunt by crack halfling soldiers, is at the centre of fears that unrest could mar the land's landmark royal election next month.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling chaotic-evil suspect Mudsea Brightglasss was forcibly sedated at Wyngglow Boneskull last month just before he was told of a new charge against him, his orcish military defence mage said Monday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Insurgents in the Kurmak Caves detonated an explosives-rigged cart with two children in the back seat after orcish soldiers let it through a Black Cavern checkpoint over the weekend, a senior orcish military official said Tuesday.
MYSTDEATH (Criers) - Two Woodcave adventurers have been sentenced to death by stoning for adultery after a trial in which they had no mage and which used telepathic, not their first language, the rights group Steelshyeld Nyghtdust said.
GRASSAND SKULLICE, the Keiper Belt - Blackhoof Cult militants on Monday claimed responsibility for a crossbow bolting that wounded a minotaur peasant near the border with the Keiper Belt — the first serious violence after formation of the new centaur unity government.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.