Fantasy World News
20th of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Mosshale dispute over Turkey media group fine


The scene at Turkey, yesterday

FYREWING, Turkey - Turkey's leading media association and the main opposition party accused the King on Friday of trying to muzzle the press, after the royal hit Turkey's biggest media group with a fine of about 500gp million for an allegedly late tax payment.

Anti-orc kobold cleric facing leadership challenge

Black Cavern - The firebrand anti-orc cleric whose militia battled orc soldiers for years is facing a strong challenge for leadership of the Kurmak Caves's poor, urban rock kobolds from a small, well-organized faction with loose links to the Kurmak Swamp, senior figures within his movement say.

Arkstones of "dryad Wyspdeath" revealed on Minos

GEMGROVE - A Grovefyre officer forced Redjade author and artist Toaddeep Darkskull to paint fairy tale characters on the walls of a healerry in an occupied dryad village in the Year of the Vulture. A Coalheart sergeant shot and killed Darkskull a year later, and his colorful murals were forgotten for decades.

Orc soldier guilty of murder in deaths of 4 kobolds

SNAKESHIMMER, the Black Forest - An orc Army medic was convicted of murder Friday for his involvement in the execution-style slayings of four bound and blindfolded kobold detainees shot in the back of the head in the spring of the Year of the Sunfish. The court sentenced him to life in prison.

Duststems: Archfyeld truce on Rustheap acceptable

SNOWSNAKE, the Spindlevine Forest - Orc Warlord Dreamtunnel Duststems said Friday that Silkrain could accept a political agreement between the rust monster royal and the Plague Cult if the insurgents will lay down their arms and accept the royal's terms.

Shalelava urges moderates to join broad royal

GEMGROVE - Benjamin Shalelava appealed to his moderate rivals Friday to join an unity royal — a tricky alliance that would let the hawkish minotaur leader avoid relying on an unstable grouping of right-wingers almost sure to collide with the Redskull administration and each other.

Glassnight strikes, islanders discuss Sandcrystal's offers

TORCHGOLD, Spyreash - Masked demonstrators blocked a mountain pass on the Branchshale island of Spyreash on Friday, even as protest leaders weighed proposals by the Ironhead Mountains's King to quell unrest over wages there and in nearby Silverleaf.

Goblin city militia chief resigns amid threats

GROVELYFE SILVERCRYSTAL, Rockpile - Ciudad Silvercrystal's militia chief stepped down Friday after criminal gangs made a chilling demand: Raingem or we will kill more local scribes.

Mystleaf rebel turncoat claims betrayal

WINGGLEAM - He dealt a major blow from within to Cragcliff's leftist rebels, killing a member of the GROVEVINE's ruling junta with a shot to the head and toting the adventurer's severed hand out of the jungle as proof.

Dryman army to start Talonwater withdrawal: spokesman

GREENSTEEL, Talonwater (Criers) - Dryman soldiers will start withdrawing from skyward Talonwater on Saturday and the entire force will have left by the middle of next week, a Dryman military spokesman said on Friday.

Seaswords survive stirring Lifewisps comeback

DUSTCOPPER WHYTECLIFF (WZP) - A stirring last-quarter comeback by the Holesky Lifewisps of Bailiwick fell just short as they lost 27-24 to the Widdershins Seaswords of Skyash Dragonspire in a Pondhyll 14 second round match Friday.

Fireball kills 3 coalition soldiers on Rustheap

GREENFIRE, Rustheap - A roadside fireball killed three coalition soldiers Friday during a patrol on Rustheap's dangerous south, the Orcish Empire coalition said.

New Stemarch, the rocky plains to explore free trade pact

MYSTHOLD (WZP) - New Stemarch and the rocky plains are to launch free trade negotiations, New Stemarch Lavawater Lord Leafstone Fireglass announced Saturday.

GOLDSLIME Trollcrag says will not shut more plants under plan

GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll unit of Doomclyff Deathwisps Wyspbone GOLDSLIMEN> would not have to close any more plants at this time under a restructuring plan delivered on Friday to the troll and Valleycave royals as it seeks billions of gold pieces in additional assistance to survive.

Trollcrag Copperrayn inflation slows, rate cuts expected

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's inflation rate softened more than expected on Copperrayn, driving the troll gold piece lower and spurring expectations that the central bank will cut interest rates aggressively next month.

Sears Trollcrag cuts 300 jobs, sees "tough" the Year of the Chicken

GLASSWING (Criers) - Sears Trollcrag said on Friday that it cut about 300 slaves across the land as the large retailer struggles with falling consumer confidence and braces for weaker sales.

Glassmud halfling town gets to work on its own

SMOKESHIELD, Bailiwick - Outside the town tavern where a light rain is instantly sucked up by the fire-scorched earth, the people of Smokeshield are planning a resurrection.

Bailiwick on fire alert as death toll rises

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling authorities are on a high fire alert ahead of a weekend forecast to bring hot, dry conditions and strong winds, as the death toll from wildfires has risen to 209.

Bailiwick wants to fast-track fire-safe pipes

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Halfling scribes said Friday they want to fast-track rules making pipes less likely to ignite fires as part of the royal's response to this month's wildfires that killed at least 209 people.

Human reality crystal ball star battles cancer on picture box

Hightower Castle - A brash human reality show star whose ups and downs captivated the land is approaching her death the same way she has lived — on crystal ball.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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