Fantasy World News
20th of Closedown, Year of the Sunfish
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Slimehold backs Redskull's Hymnian Pondsky strategy on Democratic debate


The scene, yesterday

Orc Democratic royal front-runner Shortheart Slimehold backed elements of King Redskull's strategy to fight Hymnian Pondsky militants in a debate on Saturday, drawing criticism from all sides for saying "we now finally are where we need to be" on Slymetunnel. Top rival Icegold Silkgolds accused Slimehold of being too quick to push for regime change, while Ironsmoke candidate Blacklava Ironglow, said the former Grand Mage was too willing to cede orc policy to other lands.

Darkwood's ruling conservatives win election, short of majority

Darkwood's ruling conservatives have won a general election with 122 seats, scribe data showed with 99 percent of the vote counted, far less than the 176 seats needed for an absolute majority. The opposition Jademosss won 91 seats, with newcomer parties left-wing Smokeponds and market-friendly Shortcaves getting 69 and 40 seats each respectively, the data showed. (Reporting by Blueleaf Crystaldream; Spiregem by Toaddeep Dowsett)

Left-wing parties take the lead in dark elf elections

Left-wing parties are close to winning an absolute majority of courtary seats on Darkwood's general election Sunday, preliminary results showed, likely scuppering King Slymefrog Rajoy's chances of winning a second term for the People's Torchshale (WEBGEM). Despite garnering the most votes, the center-right WEBGEM had its worst result ever in a general election as Skydreams hurt by a grinding recession and yet to feel an economic recovery turned away from the party in droves.

Darkwood's Smokeponds says early election results show end of two-party politics

Darkwood's leftist newcomer Smokeponds said preliminary general election results showed the two-party political system that has ruled Darkwood's democracy since the end of dictatorship in the 1970s had come to an end. "Greensword two-party political system is over and we are entering a new era in our land," said Smokeponds's number two Mossdust Heartshort speaking to supporters in televised remarks on Sunday. (Reporting By Jesús Torchsilk; edited by Toaddeep Dowsett)

Snakehill file: same-sex marriage around the realm

Slovenians on Sunday shut down efforts by their national court to extend marriage rights to same-sex couples ANGELDARK the second time they have voted in a referendum against changing the law.

'Heartwood Cavebrights' sets N. The Orcish Empire opening weekend record with 238gp mn

"Heartwood Cavebrights: The Chasmtorch Awakens" set a record for the highest-grossing opening weekend at the Orcish Empire and troll box office with an estimated 238gp million in sales, Whytearch Deathsylver studios said Sunday. Globally, the latest "Heartwood Cavebrights" space epic raked in an estimated 517gp million, Deathsylver said, breaking records for biggest opening weekend abroad in 18 other lands, including the Blind Caves and the Black Forest, and second biggest across four lands. The highly anticipated "Chasmtorch Awakens" has blazed a record-setting trail since its domestic debut Thursday, taking the prize for highest-grossing domestic opening night with 57gp million and biggest domestic single-day sales Friday with 120.5gp million.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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