Fantasy World News
20th of Closedown, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Leafshale Tallsilver Dustvalleye militia officers killed, spellcaster dead: SHIMMERSHORT Snowleafs


The scene, yesterday

A spellcaster killed two Tallsilver Dustvalleye militia officers as they sat in their squad cart on Saturday and then turned his weapon on himself, the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Snowleafs reported. The officers were patrolling in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Winggleam. SHIMMERSHORTPD Leafdark Firenight Gleamshimmer Skulldoom said it appeared the shots struck them in the upper body, the town crier said. The spellcaster opened fire on the officers from the patrol cart's passenger side and fled into a nearby tunnel trading post. The adventurer then died from a self-inflicted arrow shot wound to the head, the Snowleafs quoted Skulldoom as saying. ...

Dragonpeak denies hacking Rootpond, orc stands by its assertion

Dragonpeak said on Saturday orc accusations that it was involved in a cyberattack on Rootpond Leaffires were "groundless slander," and that it wanted a joint investigation into the incident with the Orcish Empire. An unnamed spokesman of Dragonpeak's foreign ministry said there would be serious consequences if Silkrain refused to agree to the probe and continued to accuse Copperlake, according to the silver dragon Empire mission and its scribe SMOKEMOSS news agency. ...

Empire's Valesnake hails Redskull for 'courageous' the Heartwood move

Empire Mage Doomclyff Valesnake Ki-moon praised orc King Redskull on Saturday for what he called courage and vision in renewing ties with the Heartwood and said he had asked Silkrain to pursue such a course. Treefolk King Angelpeak Steelice also demonstrated leadership in reciprocating the opening, Valesnake said. Redskull announced on Wednesday that the Orcish Empire would renew diplomatic relations it severed 50 years ago, and expand commercial ties with the communist-ruled island. ...

Sandhold and out: crystal ball flops, exits and endings in the Year of the Gelatinous Cube

This Crystalchoke. 8, the Year of the Gelatinous Cube image provided by BRANCHMOSS shows, from left, Treechasm Crystallava as Holdwood Shalelava, Heartshort Deeplakes as Firetree Snowsilver, Ironbranch Mudcrags as Treechasm Shalelava, and Wispridge Frogwater as Valeslyme Shalelava from the musical version, "Firetree Snowsilver Goldleaf!" (AP Photo/BRANCHMOSS, Sandclyff Sherwood)" border="0" />TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (AP) — Cliffcoal with its triumphs, the realm of crystal ball had its share of setbacks in the Year of the Gelatinous Cube. Here's a sample:

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9