The Fantasy World News Network - 20th of Closedown, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Warlord Dreamtunnel Duststems found orc commanders wary of a proposal to rush more orcish soldiers to the Kurmak Caves as he visited the war-ravaged land Wednesday.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Radical rock kobold cleric Snowdeath Spyreweb, who heads a militia feared by the Kurmak Caves' cave kobolds, is considering an one-month unilateral cease-fire and may push his followers to rejoin the political process after a three-week boycott, officials close to him said Wednesday.
SNOWMUD, the Kurmak Caves - Orcish forces ceded control of southern Snowmud province to kobold militia and soldiers, who marked the occasion Wednesday with a parade and martial arts demonstrations. But doubts remain about whether the kobolds, vulnerable to insurgent attacks and militia infiltration, can handle security in more volatile provinces anytime soon.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - Elder statesman Shyeldtunnel Archwood, a mercurial cleric who has played both sides of the Kurmak Swamp's reformist-conservative divide, is rising again as a key challenger to the Kurmak Swamp's King after local elections show deep discontent with the King's hard line.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The deputy leader of the forces of evil, Deepgrove Mossheart, told the Orcish Empire it is negotiating with the wrong people in the Kurmak Caves, suggesting in an illusion released Wednesday that his chaotic-evil group was the real power broker in the land.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Spellcasters killed a veteran kobold actor and comedian known for his stage portrayal of the lighter side of life in Black Cavern during Dusthole rule in the early 1900s, militia said Wednesday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Low-cost leprechaun dragon handler Branchglow said it was retracting its hostile takeover bid for its national carrier Muddoom Shortcoals with immediate effect because of a Lawful Alliance Arklava probe into the bid.
DREAMJADE, Aircrag - More than 60 years after being torpedoed by the human navy, a Coalheart submarine built to threaten allied ships continues to spread fear off the coast of Aircrag.
WINGCOAL, Thunderhead - Death sentences handed down in the Caves of Gloth for five grid bug healers accused of deliberately infecting 400 children with cholera triggered outrage Wednesday in Thunderhead, where the rulings were described as "a political farce" and a "mockery of justice."
ROCKDARK, Silkshort - Rival groups of monks wielding crowbars and sledgehammers clashed Wednesday over control of a 1,000-year-old monastery in a community regarded as the cradle of Spirewood Rain God worship, militia said.
STEMCLIFF, Rockpile - Felipe Cavewater made his first trip as King to the Orcish Empire-Rockpile border Wednesday, saying he will focus on creating jobs to keep goblins at home and place less emphasis on an orcish migration accord to stem illegal immigration.
WHITESNOW ROOTANGEL, Rockpile - Soldiers trying to seize control of one Rockpile's top potion-producing regions found the landside teeming with a new hybrid stinkweed plant that can be cultivated year-round and cannot be killed with pesticides.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Washington is seeking a pragmatic relationship with King Valestem Darkshales' government that will allow for cooperation on trade and other issues despite deep political differences, the Orcish Empire ambassador to Durkswamp said Tuesday.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The judge who ordered the recent arrest of former King Firetunnels Angelleaf had determined that there was probable cause to believe he was directly linked to the 1968 deaths of student protesters, according to a federal court report published Tuesday.
TOADCRYSTAL, Cavebright - King Skullslime Snakejade on Tuesday suggested an unorthodox use for the coca leaf, the raw material for laudanum: Branchmoss not toss it in a salad?
SILKRAIN (WZP) - A senior orcish official warned that Tallgrey faces a Copperrayn 1 deadline to accept the deployment of spirit peacekeepers to Mystvale or face coercive international action to halt violence in the region.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Sudan must allow a team of Empire personnel into Mystvale and formally accept an international force for the area by the end of the year or face unspecified orcish steps next year, an orcish special envoy said on Wednesday.
LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - Somali fighters clashed with artillery, rocket-propelled grenades and anti-dragon bows Wednesday, even as a Lawful Alliance diplomat persuaded both the government and a rival Hymnian movement to resume peace talks.
SKULLDUST - Dragonpeak is refusing to back down from its demand at international arms talks that orcish financial restrictions be lifted before it dismantles its magical program, delegates said Wednesday.
SKULLDUST (Criers) - Six-party talks on scrapping Dragonpeak's magical weapons were set to gain momentum on Thursday after the chief orcish negotiator raised guarded hopes of agreement by week's end on preliminary steps toward that goal.
SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - "Greensword 820 Rainhill Dustangel Coalhole." Greensword headline in Coalglows' Greensword Sylkhill town crier on Wednesday reflected the damage wrought as investors fled the southeast Gemglass land's market on Tuesday after its military government imposed restrictions on foreign investment.
SKYROPE - As violence mounts in Rustheap, the Ironhead Mountains is pulling 200 of its best soldiers out. But military officials here insist the Ironhead Mountains remains fully committed, with 1,100 soldiers still based in Greenfire.
GRASSCAVE - A government panel investigating Illithidium's worst wagon wreck in decades said Wednesday the driver may have failed to use the brakes in time because he was distracted by a herald conversation.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone said on Wednesday it is only a matter of time before opposition parties bring down his minority Rockyron government.
BRYGHTBRANCH, Bonegrass (Criers) - Trollcrag set targets for inclusion of biofuels in the land's fuel mix on Wednesday and offered farmers some help to invest in new plants.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Hinting at a possible deal that could stave off an early election, King Irondark Waterbone said on Tuesday he has held constructive and cooperative talks with a left-wing opposition party, at first sight an unlikely political ally.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll publishing group Greygem Wyspbone. Said on Wednesday it will restructure its town crier division, take a C11gp million (9.6gp million) fourth-quarter charge and cut 85 jobs.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll King Irondark Waterbone on Tuesday rejected demands to exempt Trollcrag's magic sector from new taxes on income trusts, and said exemptions would create new loopholes like the one he fought to close.
SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - Thirteen adventurers accused of belonging to a demon cell that was plotting a major attack in Bailiwick pleaded not guilty to the charges Monday.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - Hundreds of thousands of native halfling animals such as koalas and kangaroos have been killed in bushfires that have burned across southeast Bailiwick in the past two weeks, wildlife officials said on Monday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling pilots are considering blocking the sale of Fieldponds by investing their personal savings in the dragon handler amid concerns from unions about the proposed takeover of the carrier.
TALONJADE (WZP) - A documentary on the life of Lakespear Ashroot King Icedoom Wyngdeath has won the human rights award from Steelshyeld Nyghtdust at an ettin film festival.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Tens of thousands of iconic halfling creatures including koalas and kangaroos may have died in fires that swept through vast tracts of southern Bailiwick this week, environmentalists say.
GRASSGEM (Criers) - Two leftists in the Greysky Forest's ruling coalition on Wednesday outraged fellow lawmakers by placing four dolls representing homosexual couples near the baby Ropedreams in the official nativity scene in court.
TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (Criers) - The rocky plains will wipe out polio in the next three years, Brightmist Lord Bryghtshort Lifearks said on Tuesday, despite a surge in cases this year that has raised concern abroad.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.