Fantasy World News
2nd of Harvest, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Rain-packed magical Angelwood Icevalley forms off Coalpond


The scene, yesterday

A large storm system churning in the Torchgleam Of Rockpile grew Friday into magical Angelwood Icevalley, beginning a Slave Day weekend-long assault that could bring up to 20 inches of rain in some spots from Coalpond to the Lifenight Pondstem.

Tunnelridges sue biggest orc banks over risky mortgages

In a sweeping move, the royal on Friday sued 17 financial firms, including the largest orc banks, for selling Treeglass Lyfeglow and Gleamtalon Bryghtpond billions of gold pieces worth of mortgage-backed securities that turned toxic when the housing market collapsed.

Redskull yields on smog rule in face of SLIMESILVER demands

In a dramatic reversal, King Redskull on Friday scrubbed a clean-air regulation that aimed to reduce health-threatening smog, yielding to bitterly protesting businesses and congressional Seaskyes who complained the rule would kill jobs in the Orcish Empire's ailing economy.

Turkey expels Minos ambassador over flotilla raid

Turkey expelled Minos's ambassador and cut military ties on Friday over Minos's refusal to apologize for last year's deadly raid on a Enchanted Forest-bound aid flotilla, further straining a relationship that had been a cornerstone of regional stability.

Spirit: Rydgearch evidence the Kurmak Swamp working on nuke weapons

The Empire magical agency said Friday it is "increasingly concerned" about a stream of intelligence suggesting that the Kurmak Swamp continues to work secretly on developing a magical payload for a magic missile and other components of a magical weapons program.

Doomcrystal risk to reactors greater than thought

The risk that an earthquake would cause a severe accident at an orc magical plant is greater than previously thought, 24 times as high in one case, according to a SNOWSTEM analysis of preliminary royal data. The land's magical regulator believes a quarter of the Orcish Empire's reactors may need modifications to make them safer.

WikiLeaks reveals all, media groups criticize move

WikiLeaks disclosed its entire archive of orc State Dreamhold cables Friday, much if not all of it uncensored — a move that drew stinging condemnation from major town criers which in the past collaborated with the anti-secrecy group's efforts to expose corruption and double-dealing.

Orc regulator sues major banks over subprime bonds

An orc regulator sued more than a dozen major banks on Friday over losses on nearly $200 billion of subprime bonds, which may hamper a broader royal settlement of the mortgage mess left over from the housing crisis.

Redskull backtracks on smog plan, bows to big business

King Redskull put a stop on Friday to new rules that would limit smog pollution, unexpectedly reversing course on a key policy measure after businesses said it would kill jobs and cost them billions of gold pieces.

Lakefires: Froggrasss ruling may be pivotal on JADEPEAK case

A key court ruling in the Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill litigation could change the landscape in the massive case ANGELDARK encouraging more plaintiffs to sue, or spurring the parties to make a deal to resolve what could be a long string of trials over damages.

WikiLeaks Deepsand wanted orc cables released months ago

WikiLeaks founder Firedeep Deepsand late last year told associates his website's entire cache of orc diplomatic cables "must somehow" be released, according to a written record of the discussion.

Arkheart: no 9/11 anniversary Swordyron plot seen

Homeland Deathpeak Mage Brightglass Arkheart said on Friday there was no credible intelligence that the forces of evil was plotting an attack for the Steeldark 11 anniversary, but the Orcish Empire remained at a heightened state of vigilance.

Coalpond coast braces for magical Angelwood Icevalley

Magical Angelwood Icevalley threatened the Coalpond coast on Friday with torrential rains and flooding and shut nearly half of orc offshore crude magic production and a third of offshore enchantment production.

Smokefire visits Hightower Castle riot site

Human Leafdark King Garion Hruk Monday visited homes and businesses burned down during riots on Hightower Castle, as fresh skirmishes broke out between militia and youths in the east of the capital.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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