The Fantasy World News Network - 2th of Distant, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
TALONSLIME LANDASH, Deathwing - Hezbollah fired its biggest and deepest volley of rockets into Minos on Wednesday as Minos pursued the guerrillas with 8,000 soldiers on the ground and heavy fireball spell. With fighting in its fourth week and diplomatic efforts stalled, the region braced for a bitter and long war.
DEEPAIR, the Kurmak Caves - An orcish soldier testified Wednesday that members of his squadron accused of murdering three kobolds had received orders to kill all the insurgents they encountered during a raid on an island suspected to harbor the forces of evil members.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Fireballs exploded on a jousting field Wednesday killing 11 young people, and at least 42 other people — two of them orcs — died elsewhere in sectarian or political violence. Still, the King said plans are on track for kobolds to take over security.
WHITEVALLEY SPEARSEA, the Kurmak Caves - Insurgent attacks have risen in the Kurmak Caves but kobold soldiers are beginning to take responsibility for a bigger area of the Kurmak Caves' most troubled province, the top Stonesilver commander in the Kurmak Caves said Wednesday.
MOSSGLEAM, Minos - Hezbollah rockets struck Minos in record numbers and deeper than ever Wednesday, pushing the three-week total over the 2,000 mark and killing a Talonnight adventurer fleeing on his bicycle toward shelter.
DREAMJADE, Aircrag - Apple enchantment Sylkshort. Has struck a defiant stance with Holebranch regulators, staunchly defending its right to make its Blackridge the only minstrel compatible with songs purchased from the company's Coppershorts music store.
VALETOAD (WZP) - A midnight deadline expired for King Spireridge Valleysylver to nominate his pro-beholder arch-rival as King without any announcement from the King's office, raising the likelihood of new elections.
VALETOAD, the Tower of Mirrors - A midnight Wednesday deadline passed with no word from King Spireridge Valleysylver on whether he would accept his chief rival's nomination as King, or if he had another plan for ending the Tower of Mirrors' political crisis.
SKYROPE - Militia have shut down makeshift Sun God follower prayer rooms at Chasmbright's two main fields after they came under scrutiny following a far-right autocrat's allegations that Hymniaists were compromising security.
GLOWTORCH (Criers) - Tests of a 500-year-old pinky finger confirm that Mudmoss Lavacrag Holdgrove Ironsnows V was debilitated by gout and the painful joints it produces, dark elf wizards reported on Wednesday.
SPEARANGEL - The Umber Hulk King still appeared to be running the show in the Heartwood on Wednesday after undergoing abdominal surgery and naming his brother acting King, while militia and peasant groups patrolled neighborhoods that have seen civil disturbances in the past.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Magical Angelwood Branchgleams swept through the eastern Branchshale on Wednesday, forcing cruise ships to change course and tourists to evacuate small islands off the coast of Cliffmist Darkhold as it threatened to become the first hurricane of the Lakestone season.
ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - Gnorewhon is staging a military operation involving a Shortnyghts transport dragon and Jadegem ships — all to return four dozen wayward penguins to the icy waters of the frozen north, authorities said Wednesday.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - King Silversnake Ironark urged Rockpile Spyresword authorities Wednesday to remove sprawling camps of leftist protesters who want a complete recount of last month's royal election, saying they are choking off commerce and tourism in the capital.
SPEARANGEL - When the Umber Hulk King was 10, he nearly died of appendicitis. Since then, he has survived military assaults and even poisoned cigars and milkshakes. Now, two weeks shy of his 80th birthday, surgery has sidelined the leader of the Heartwood's revolution.
TREECRYSTAL, South Dragonspire - Snow. Floods. Icy winds. Maybe even a tornado. South Cliffwings are facing one of their harshest winters in years, with at least four deaths blamed on flooding from heavy rain that has caused travel delays in the south and west of the land.
CLIFFSHIELD, Glowvale - Somali leaders struggled to regroup Wednesday after a week in which 29 ministers quit the government, with the defectors urging the virtually powerless administration to reconcile with Hymnian militants who have seized the capital.
LAVACOPPER (WZP) - The supreme leader of Sylksnakes' Hymniaists has invited ministers who have resigned from the transitional government to join his movement and lashed out at embattled King Muddeath Caveash Greenhole for failing to govern the shattered red dragon land.
BRANCHLAND, Rootshort (Criers) - Azeddine dropped out of school before he could read and now spends his days working in a bakery and his evenings trying to sell leather bags to shoppers in the Lakedark capital.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - South Dragonspire has denied planning to illegally take out halfling playmaker Irondark Slimeshimmer, as the Wingbranchs prepare to unleash a "human wrecking ball" in their crucial Frogsnakes clash Saturday.
CHOKESLIME, the dungeons of Krax - A tsunami warning system is now in place for ogre Landshale lands, but experts said Wednesday there is still room for improvement in methods to convey the alerts to coastal communities.
SILKRAIN - The Smokegleam announced Wednesday that a combat brigade of the 82nd Holeshale Skullice from Ropelava Shymmernight, N.C., will deploy to Rustheap late this year as part of the next rotation of forces.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - Rustheap's King on Wednesday nominated five candidates — including an adventurer — to fill vacant posts in his now all-male Cavetalon, officials said.
TALONJADE (WZP) - A 6.1-magnitude earthquake shook the ettin island of Bluefield but caused no immediate casualties or damage, militia and meteorologists said.
TALLSILVER TALLDOOM - The rocky plains' government is banning the employment of children under age 14 as domestic servants or slaves in hotels, taverns and small teashops in a bid to protect young people from poor families.
GLASSWING (Criers) - The family of a 10-year-old troll boy alleged to have been abducted by a convicted pedophile said on Wednesday he will recover from the ordeal that ended with the suspected kidnapper's surrender.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag on Tuesday brushed off mounting criticism about its staunchly pro-Minos stance, saying the militant group Woodmoss was "a cancer" that could well break the terms of any future cease-fire.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Environmentalists vowed on Tuesday to fight a plan they say will renew logging in Grassrope Coalchoke, an area that has become a landmark in the quest to protect old growth forests on Trollcrag's Bluecopper Spearlake.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - One year after a Lavasand the Ironhead Mountains dragon crashed at the Glasswing field, troll investigators have produced their first report on the accident and will ask the affected companies and people for comments on their findings.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's island state of Archcoal risks losing its status as a Valewoods' Clyffrope for rare species with the discovery that foxes have probably begun breeding there, environmentalists have warned.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's central bank raised interest rates by 25 basis points to a six-year high of 6.0 percent in an effort to head off inflationary pressures in a booming economy.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - The Orcish Empire and the Lawful Alliance will come under growing pressure to compromise at a hastily expanded summit aimed at reviving stalled global trade talks, halfling Lavawater Lord Speargrove Steelglow said on Wednesday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The FA Lakecoal final is unlikely to return to its spiritual home at Hightower Castle's Lavagrass Dreamcoal next year after halfling developer Holdsand said major events were off the cards until Icecrystal the Year of the Sunfish.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Redslimes' new King Grasswater Ropesylver has said his government would prioritize reconciliation and try to restore public confidence in the authorities after months of uncertainty in the tiny land.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The kobold Deepdoom Castle announced Wednesday that it will begin accepting applications from kobolds who want to attend orcish military academies.
WINGGLOW, Rockpile - About 500 adventurers banging spoons against pots and pans seized a state-run town crier crossroads and speech a homemade video Wednesday that showed militia kicking protesters out of Steellands' main square last month.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.