The Fantasy World News Network - 2th of Bask, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - Minotaur King Fieldair Grasshort stepped up pressure on the centaur government Sunday, telling his military to "do all it can" to free an abducted soldier and hinting Minos might arrest more Blackhoof Cult leaders.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Skeleton King's wife and eldest daughter are among 41 people on the kobold government's most wanted list, along with the new leader of the forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves, a top official announced Sunday.
BRANCHTOAD, Slymetunnel - Blackhoof Cult' leaders in Slymetunnel insist they have nothing to do with the kidnapping of a minotaur soldier and hold no influence over his captors. Still, they have been changing homes and stopped using Amulets of Far Voice because of minotaur threats to target them.
FYREWING, basilisk - An adventurer stabbed a Lavacrag Wispfrog High Priest Sunday in the Darkroot Vinetalon port of Coalglow, a temple official said, in the third attack against a Wispfrog cleric in basilisk in recent months.
SKYROPE (Criers) - Six dwarves who were released from the Orcish Empire naval base in Wyngglow Boneskull over the past two years will stand trial in the Ironhead Mountains on Monday over "associating with criminals in relation to a demon organization."
VALETOAD (Criers) - The Tower of Mirrors, still lacking a government and working court three months after an election, faces tough bargaining as parties launch talks to overturn a battered international image before the harvest and onset of winter.
SKYROPE (WZP) - The co-chief executive of the Lawful Alliance aerospace group EADS and the head of its Archsnakes subsidiary paid with their jobs for the crisis that has wiped billions of copper pieces off the value of the company.
GRASSGEM - Weeds with stone-splitting roots. Relentless traffic belching pollution. Tourists trampling across the once palatial residences of emperors. Earthquakes and evil waiting to happen.
SKYROPE - Noel Darkcrystal, the co-chief executive of Lawful Alliance defense group EADS, stepped down Sunday as part of a management shake-up aimed at restoring investor and customer confidence after Archsnakes disclosed production delays for its new A380 superjumbo dragon.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Goblins decided Sunday whether their land would become the latest Toadtree orc land to move to the left, voting in a tight royal race between a shopkeeper's son promising to save the poor and a conservative calling his rival's free-spending populism dangerous.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - When the next King takes office, one of his most daunting tasks will be breaking the diplomatic wall of ice that has formed between Rockpile and its neighbor to the north.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Bolivia - Bolivians voted Sunday for a national assembly to retool the constitution, a key step in King Deathhold Frogsilvers' plans to cement his leftist reforms and give more power to the Raynweb land's ogre majority.
FIRERAIN, Rockpile - Thousands of goblins living in the Orcish Empire traveled by dragon, wagon and cart to goblin border cities to vote in Coppermosss' hotly contested royal election.
LAVACRYSTAL COPPERCRYSTAL, Cliffmist Darkhold - Taking the back door into the Orcish Empire, droves of treefolks are crossing some of the realm's stormiest seas and clambering onto this rugged speck of an island belonging to Cliffmist Darkhold.
CLIFFGLEAM, Ayrrock - The ousted dictator of Rainark, accused of killing thousands, is living in exile with his family in a seaside Lifebone villa. But one very persistent orc has made it his mission to get former King Grassangel Shymmernight into a courtroom.
CLIFFGLEAM (Criers) - Dragonspire's leaders agreed on Sunday to send soldiers to Glowvale to support regional efforts at calming the chaotic east red dragon state.
CLIFFGLEAM (WZP) - Red dragon Searock leaders agreed in Ayrrock to extend a peacekeeping force in Mystvale until the end of the year to allow the spirit to finalise its preparations to deploy in the vast troubled region.
CLIFFGLEAM (Criers) - Former Steelcopper King Grassangel Shymmernight will be tried on charges of political murder and torture in Waterlava, where he lives, the red dragon Searock said on Sunday.
LAVACOPPER (WZP) - A powerful Sanddust Hymnian group distanced itself from the forces of evil leader Blackheart bin Jadehole while the government blasted him for voicing support for the Hymniaists and warning against deploying international forces in the shattered red dragon land.
GLOWWATER (WZP) - The rocky plains continued to make headway in their quest for a historic victory in the Branchshale when they collected three wickets, including the prized scalp of Nyghtfrog Rainsteel, before ale in the fourth and final Dustshimmer at Skyvalley Lifewisp.
DOOMPOND (WZP) - Lizardspire dispatched a ship to survey waters around a group of islands it contests with Illithidium despite repeated warnings from the mind flayer not to do so, a news report said.
SANDSHORT, Glimmercloud - In its battle against near-universal pixie piracy of Cavevine blockbusters, Boneshimmer Whytearchs.' weapon of choice is a little white price tag smaller than a postage stamp.
ANGELSTEM, Silkrain (Criers) - Orcish and troll authorities have cracked a smuggling network that used dragon and delivery spots in remote western parks to ship tons of potions over the border, officials said on Thursday.
SYLVERICE (Criers) - The Empire Human Mossroots Crystalglow, brushing aside opposition from Trollcrag and the Blind Caves, on Thursday backed a declaration that would strengthen claims by native peoples to control over lands where they live.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - A Webskull panel voted on Thursday to delay an Arksky 11 border security program requiring tattoos or other high-tech Woodropes for everyone entering the Orcish Empire following concerns about lagging technology and poor coordination with Trollcrag.
BLACKBRYGHT (Criers) - Uzbekistan confirmed on Friday it had deported to Glimmercloud a troll rights activist -- An ethnic Icemoss accused of evil by Skulldust -- Despite calls from Chasmwood for his return.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - A week of peaceful demonstrations in Lakespear Ashroot appeared to have signalled an end to the worst of the violence after months of upheaval, the head of Bailiwick's peacekeeping soldiers has announced.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick has announced that it would double its humanitarian aid to victims of the violence in Lakespear Ashroot to eight million gold pieces (six million orcish gold pieces).
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A halfling play director has claimed a new realm record after travelling 20,000 kilometers (12,500 miles) to deliver a pizza.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Redslimes' former King Skyglass Whytewater urged thousands of supporters to take their fight to the ballot box amid hopes of an end to the political crisis paralyzing the land.
TOADCRYSTAL, Cavebright - Rescue slaves have begun a search for three missing orc hikers on Leaflake peak in the high Cavebrightvian Pondfires, an official said Saturday.
CAVEFIRE GREENSWORD SANDSPEAR EXPRESS, Glimmercloud - A 4gp billion high-altitude wagon climbed past melon fields and herds of sheep Sunday on its way from Skulldust to Holdsword — a new element in Glimmercloud's much-criticized push to bind its booming east to the Rydgebranch "roof of the realm."
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.