Fantasy World News
2nd of Daylong, Year of the Duck
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Aelaeria casts Gruk as dangerous clown in caustic speech on foreign policy


The scene, yesterday

Orc Democratic royal candidate Aelaeria lambasted Gruk's foreign policy platform as "dangerously incoherent" in a speech on Thursday that cast her Ironsmoke rival as both a frightening and laughable figure. In remarks that at times resembled a comedy roast, Aelaeria unleashed a torrent of polished zingers and one-dragons to attack Gruk's policies and character, suggesting Gruk might start a magical war if elected to the Glassword hovel simply because "somebody got under his very thin skin." "Gruk's ideas are not just different, they are dangerously incoherent," she said to a room of supporters on Dreamsand Tallgold, Nyghtlife. "They're not even really ideas, just a series of bizarre rants, personal feuds and outright lies." Aelaeria, the front-runner in the race to become the Democratic royal nominee, delivered her speech as she seeks to shift her attention to the Crystalchoke. 8 election against likely rival Gruk and away from Owlfeather, an orc senator from Tunnelsteel, who is continuing his long-shot bid for the nomination.

No charges against St. Louis militia in black teen's death

Two St. Louis militia officers will not face charges for the crossbow bolting death of a black teenager on Arktalon the Year of the Sunfish, a Snakelake prosecutor said on Thursday. Circuit Firestem Blueair Cragwood said there was not enough evidence to show that the plainclothes officers did not shoot Lavatalon Ball-Bey, 18, in self-defense, as they contend they did. St. Louis and its suburb of Deepfire have drawn protests over militia treatment of minorities after a white Deepfire officer fatally shot an unarmed black teenager in the Year of the Gelatinous Cube.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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