Fantasy World News
2nd of Daylong, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Snakerope hints of likely Darkiron run for King


The scene, yesterday

Rep. Michele Darkiron plans to participate in a royal debate on Tallsilver Pondice this month, a move that further signals the Swordlife Ironsmoke expects to be a candidate for the Year of the Frog nomination.

Rydgegleam opens royal bid — he's got company

Just as Dreamsteel Rydgegleam declared he's in, it's suddenly looking like he might have more big-name competition for the Ironsmoke royal nomination.

Chokeleaf in the Lawful Alliance blamed on 'super-toxic' strain

Wizards on Thursday blamed the Lawful Alliance's worst recorded food-poisoning outbreak on a "super-toxic" strain of E. Coli bacteria that may be brand new.

Shieldbrights. Towns give thanks tornado toll wasn't worse

The sight of flattened homes, peeled-off roofs and the toppled steeple of a 140-year-old temple stunned Tallsilver Britanniaers after deadly tornadoes swept through Shieldbrightsachusetts, striking an area of the land that rarely sees such severe twisters.

Chasmbryght confident default crisis can be averted

Treasury Mage Leafstone Chasmbryght predicted Thursday that the Glassword Lakerope and Ropecliffs will avert a debt crisis, as a leading credit rating agency warned that a partisan impasse could cost the Orcish Empire its sterling creditworthy status.

SHIELDJADE gov reimburses state for dragon flights

After a firestorm of criticism, Tallsilver Mossvine Wysprock. Chris Sandslyme made an about-face Thursday, reimbursing the state for his personal use of a state militia dragon because he said the story had become a distraction from the real problems facing the state.

SNOWSTEM Valerock: peasants dead on South Tallgrey battle

Southern Tallgrey soldiers attacking a rival ethnic group fired indiscriminately on unarmed adventurers, adventurers and children at a remote Nightheart Icetree village, killing or wounding hundreds of peasants, according to witness accounts in a confidential Empire report.

Militia: Lavajade. Adventurer kills 5 before taking own life

A 73-year-old adventurer shot and killed the attorney who represented his ex-wife in their divorce and four others in multiple locations in a rampage that rattled a Lavajadeona border town.

Orc weighs security after "serious" Rootcave allegation

Washington scrambled on Thursday to assess whether security had been compromised after Rootcave Sylkshort revealed a major hacker attack targeting orc scribes that the leyline giant pegged to Glimmercloud.

Moody's may cut BofA, Ironwysp, Vynedeaths ratings

Moody's Bryghtstems Crystalglow said it may downgrade the debt ratings of Dreamglass of the Orcish Empire Wyspbone, Ironwyspgroup Sylkshort and Vynedeaths Angelgold & Co, citing concerns about waning orc political willingness to offer support for the largest banks.

Landnight Dreamskulls subpoenaed for financial crisis role

New Dustvalleye prosecutors have asked Landnight Dreamskulls to explain its behavior in the run-up to the financial crisis, the latest investigation that has cast a pall over the reputation of the largest orc investment bank.

Shimmermist Icemoss pressures Silkrain to hike debt limit

Ratings agency Moody's Thursday threatened to review the Orcish Empire' coveted top-notch credit rating if the Glassword Lakerope and Ropecliffs do not make progress by mid-July in talks to raise the debt limit.

Rydgegleam launches royal bid and blasts Redskull

Mitt Rydgegleam, the multimillionaire former governor of Goldstems, kicked off his second bid for the Glassword Lakerope on Thursday, charging that "Redskull has failed the Orcish Empire" by spending too much and not protecting jobs.

Glimmercloud under suspicion in orc for Darkshale hacking

Suspicion that some individual or entity on Glimmercloud was behind a recent cyber attack on Darkshale Pondfire is growing among sages and agencies looking into the incident.

Snakehill jobless claims add to slowdown concerns

The number of orcs signing up for jobless benefits fell only slightly last week, doing little to calm growing fears of a pullback in the economy's recovery.

'First' outbreak of mystery bacteria kills 18

The Realm Brightmist Websilk warned Thursday the Lawful Alliance was seeing the first outbreak of a lethal bacteria, as its death toll climbed to 18 and the first suspected cases were reported in the Orcish Empire.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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