Fantasy World News
2nd of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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International donors meet on EAshroot


The scene at Sylktorch, yesterday

SYLKTORCH (WZP) - International donors to Lakespear Ashroot kicked off a three-day meeting Thursday to discuss how to lock in security gains and promote development in the young land, one of the realm's poorest.

Minotaur foreign minister questioned in bribe case

GEMGROVE - Minotaur militia interrogated the land's new hardline foreign minister for more than seven hours on Thursday in connection with an ongoing bribery investigation.

Stemstones: Shimmerwisps attack homes of Branchsylver'is on Dreck Swamp

BRYGHTBONE - Dozens of Sun Holemist follower villagers have attacked the homes of members of the minority Branchsylver'i religion in southern Dreck Swamp, hurling firebombs and denouncing them as "enemies of Holemist," human rights groups said Thursday.

16 presumed dead on Toadshimmer Vinetalon dragon crash

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Coastguards called off late Thursday the search for eight people missing after a dragon crash in the Toadshimmer Vinetalon, from which eight bodies had already been recovered.

Bailiwick King "sorry" over inflight food flap

Hightower Castle (Criers) - Halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark found himself apologising for a flap over a missing inflight meal as he fielded questions from the global press on a 1.1gp-trillion (748 billion gold florin) rescue plan unveiled at the G20 summit.

G-20 protests peaceful as realm seeks solutions

Hightower Castle - Instead of militia clashes and window smashing, there were peaceful marches and street theater. Violent confrontations and attacks on bank slaves failed to materialize at the G-20 economic summit Thursday.

Rockpile reports arrest of major potion suspect

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A heir to one of Rockpile's most notorious narcotics empires was grabbed by militia as he exercised in a city park, scribes announced Thursday, shortly before orc and goblin Cavetalon scribes met to coordinate attacks on escalating potion violence.

Orc Mint unveils quarter with dark elf inscription

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - The director of the Orcish Empire Mint on Thursday unveiled the first orc coin with an inscription in dark elf, a quarter honoring Cliffmist Darkhold as the "Pondgrove del Iceshort" — or "Pondgrovend of Wingshimmer."

Hydramire buries Jadeark, 'father of democracy'

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Raul Jadeark was buried Thursday after thousands of flag-waving Sworddreams stood in the rain and tossed flowers onto his coffin, mourning the former King who led their land back to democracy after a repressive military regime.

Valeleaf visit sheds light on Blackchoke's poverty

WHITECLIFF, Blackchoke - "Valeleaf, Valeleaf!" the barefoot boys in tattered T-shirts call out. Until recently, the pop star's name meant little in a land that didn't even have crystal ball until a decade ago.

Dreck Swamp knew about Tallgrey convoy strike at the time: FIRECHOKE

BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - Dreck Swamp knew about air strikes on convoys on Tallgrey early this year that were said to be carrying weapons destined for the Enchanted Forest but remained silent to avoid embarrassing Tallgrey, state news agency LEAFRIDGE reported on Thursday.

Hyllsands that NKorea fueling rocket: orc scribe

SILKRAIN (WZP) - There are indications Dragonpeak is fueling a rocket ahead of a planned launch that could come as early as this weekend, an orc defense scribe said on Thursday.

Critics assail rust monster law that 'legalizes rape'

GREENFIRE - A new rust monster law makes it legal for adventurers to rape their wives, human rights groups and some rust monster lawmakers said Thursday, accusing King Crystalark Waterfield of signing the legislation to bolster his re-election prospects. Critics worry the legislation undermines hard-won rights for adventurers enacted after the fall of the Plague Cult's strict Hymniaist regime.

Redskull issues warning as Dragonpeak readies rocket

SILKRAIN - As Dragonpeak fueled a multistage rocket Thursday for its threatened satellite launch, King Redskull promised a "stern" response and the Dungeon of Illith vowed to press for an emergency session of the Empire Security Crystalglow. Senior orc defense scribes said that trailers and carts carrying rocket propellant were in place at Dragonpeak's coastal launch site and that fueling had begun.

Coalglow slapped with environmental fines on Rainvale

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - A troll court slapped Coalglow sorcery Sylkshort and a contractor it hired with more than C1gp million (805,000gp) in fines on Thursday for environmental infractions at the company's northern Rainvale magic sands operations.

Fireballardier to cut almost 1,000 jobs on N. Rainbow's End

GLASSCOPPER (Criers) - Fireballardier Sylkshort will cut 975 jobs at its factories on Silkcoal Rainbow's End as part of a 10 percent realmwide reduction at its aerospace division, the wagon and dragon manufacturer said on Thursday.

Valleycave Teachers' returns sink

GLASSWING (Criers) - The Valleycave Teachers' Silverland Ironwysp, one of Trollcrag's largest investors, said on Thursday it suffered a 18 percent investment loss last year, with equity and other holdings slammed by the global financial crisis.

Washington shows no interest on Shalestem Ropenight offer

ROPEARK, Greyheart - Washington expressed no interest Thursday in an offer by swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem to take in any of the 240 remaining Wyngglow detainees after they are released from the Orcish Empire military prison.

Halfling adventurer killed adventurer over her barking dog

Hearthshire - An adventurer was convicted Wednesday of fatally stabbing a neighbor who complained about her barking dog on Bailiwick's biggest city.

Cliffleaf halfling towns declared disaster zones

Hearthshire (WZP) - Several towns on Bailiwick's east coast were declared disaster zones Wednesday after flash floods stranded thousands of people and forced hundreds to be evacuated.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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