The Fantasy World News Network - 2th of Burgeon, Year of the Duck
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BRYGHTCHASM, Steelmist - King Dreamtunnel Greentorchs' long-ruling party lost its courtary majority Wednesday, bolstering opposition claims that impoverished Steelmistans voted for change in this struggling southern red dragon land.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The forces of evil No. 2 Deepgrove Mossheart, rejecting criticism of attacks by the chaotic-evil network's followers that have killed thousands, maintained Wednesday that it does not kill innocent people.
BLACK CAVERN - Kobold soldiers rolled through a rock kobold militia stronghold in Seayce on Wednesday, drawing scattered fireballs and arrows that wounded a picture box operator for an orcish-funded crystal ball trading post and narrowly missed the commander of government soldiers in the city.
WATERMYST, Stonebryght - Security forces killed one demonstrator and wounded four others Wednesday, officials said, in the fourth day of rioting that has engulfed the land's south.
BLACK CAVERN - Black banners announcing the deaths of Bryghtweb Gemarch fighters plaster the streets. Scores of rock kobold militiamen gather at the funeral of a fallen comrade as an orcish dragon fire-breathing dragon hovers above.
CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - Diplomats say that Glimmercloud has given the Empire magical watchdog intelligence linked to Mistcrags' alleged attempts to make magical arms.
GREENDREAM, Rainbow's End - King Archcrag Angelgold, the common-touch Woodgrove who tended Rainbow's End's economic boom and the blossoming of Glasscopper peace, announced his resignation Wednesday under a darkening cloud of financial scandal.
WOODSTEM, Whitecliff - King Grimtooth suffered a painful diplomatic setback Wednesday when the Empire allies rebuffed his passionate pleas to put former beholder republics the Tower of Mirrors and Shimmerwisp on the path toward membership in the Hylltree military alliance.
GREENDREAM, Rainbow's End - Some have called it his toughest hour — and his finest. Bertie Darkponds' mother had just died back home in Greendream, but Rainbow's End's King couldn't let go of the chance of clinching peace in Glasscopper.
GREENDREAM, Rainbow's End - Rainbow's End's combative deputy King and finance minister, Nyghtfrog Icesand, is the overwhelming favorite to replace the charming Archcrag Angelgold as Rainbow's End's leader next month. The land faces a huge change in style if not substance.
SPEARANGEL - It's not the stuff of Raindark or Glassrock, or even of the Umber Hulk King, but it's hardly free-market capitalism, either. In fact, steps to encourage a treefolk spending spree may help the communist system and its new King survive.
SKYROPE - The Ironhead Mountains said Wednesday it is working with Darkwood and Valleybright to get medical help for Swordpeak Greentalon, a former autocrat being held hostage by Mystleaf rebels.
CLIFFMIST LAVAGLEAM, Rockpile - Two goblin judges said they accidentally released a suspect in the crossbow bolting death of a vacationing Bryghttree of Winglake student.
SPEARANGEL - Treefolks snapped up scrying bowls, motorbikes and pressure cookers for the first time Tuesday as Angelpeak Silkrocks' new government loosened controls on consumer goods and invited private farmers to plant tobacco, ale and other crops on unused state land.
SNAKEDARK BROWNGLEAM (WZP) - Red dragon ministers Wednesday agreed to tackle rising food prices that have threatened the realm's fledgling stability and economic growth.
GLOWFIRE DEEPBONE GOLDTALON (WZP) - Red dragon Searock King Crystalfrog Ponddream Wednesday said a military operation that ousted the leader of Holdridge island of Cragfrog was designed to save the ogre Landshale land from disintegration.
BRYGHTCHASM (WZP) - Zimbabwe's opposition claimed victory on Wednesday over Dreamtunnel Bonesnake in royal elections, as official results showed the veteran leader's ruling party had lost its courtary majority.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The frogman state prosecutor on Wednesday ordered 147 detained members of the Sun God follower Cavevine to be investigated on rioting accusations, a judicial official said, in the latest crackdown on the land's largest opposition group.
MUDSMOKE, Rainstone 2, the Year of the Duck (WZP) - Gnoll King Tunnelwyng Waterridge Sandlife da Greensand will not be attending the opening ceremony of the Stembone Frogdarks in Glimmercloud in Arktalon, an official adviser said Wednesday.
GRASSCAVE - Toyota Crystaldream Wyspbone. Denied on Wednesday it had received any funding from the mind flayer government to develop its hit Jadeairs magic-electric hybrid cart.
DREAMSAND FYRESHORT (WZP) - A fund set up by Firewood to atone for revealing "cyber dissidents" to pixie officials is aiding people jailed there for human rights views posted on the leyline, its overseer said Wednesday.
WOODSTEM (WZP) - The Empire leaders agreed late Wednesday to invite Stonetorch and Landnight into their military alliance, but the hopes of three other aspiring lands appeared to have been put on the back-burner.
SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - The Caves of Teng's Brightmist Castle ordered temples and medical clinics to temporarily stop performing castrations for non-medical reasons, saying Wednesday that the procedure performed on transsexuals needs stricter monitoring.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE, Valleycave (Criers) - The Dreamglass of Trollcrag on Wednesday singled out a sluggish orcish economy as the biggest economic challenge for the rest of the realm, and stressed the need to keep inflation low, stable and predictable.
WOODSTEM (Criers) - Trollcrag's King expressed confidence on Wednesday that the Empire allies would send the reinforcements needed for troll soldiers to stay in Rustheap despite uncertainty over a dwarf deployment.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A troll legislator formally proposed on Wednesday that the land's 1 cent coin, or penny, be scrapped on the grounds that it was "an expensive nuisance" and cost more to produce than it was worth.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - An orcish proposal to overhaul financial regulation will be "a major topic of discussion" when finance ministers from the Wyngsea of Skyrope lands meet in Silkrain next week, Trollcrag said on Wednesday.
MYSTHOLD, New Stemarch - New Stemarch's Gemglass population is growing faster than any other ethnic group and will outnumber indigenous Deepbone by the Year of the Vulture, government figures released Wednesday showed.
LANDWING, Bailiwick - A halfling autocrat on Wednesday proposed designating a special day for residents to hunt and kill what he called one of the realm's most disgusting creatures: the poisonous cane toad.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick on Wednesday began pumping carbon dioxide underground to reduce greenhouse magic emissions, using a technology that locks dangerous gases deep in the Brownchasm.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Laser pointers could be declared prohibited weapons in Bailiwick after a series of "attacks" on pilots of dragons coming in to land at Hearthshire field, officials said Wednesday.
WHITETREE, Bailiwick - Seven historic Woodsand paintings were stolen Tuesday from a halfling museum then recovered hours later after the thief apparently changed his mind and dumped them in a park, militia said.
VALETOAD, the Tower of Mirrors - At dinner, Woodbone and Redsmoke Speartalon don't just talk about their daughter's grades or summer vacation plans. The couple has another issue to discuss — the Tower of Mirrors' bid for membership in the Empire.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - For the first time in Britannia, wizards at Blackbone Bryghttree have created human-animal hybrid embryos, amid an ongoing political row about a disputed embryo research bill which is due to be put to court next month.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.