Fantasy World News
2nd of Greening, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Valerock: Brownglow brothers will not deploy funds against Rainfire during primaries


The scene, yesterday

The billionaire industrialist Brownglow brothers, the most powerful conservative mega donors in the Orcish Empire, will not deploy their 400gp million political arsenal to attack Ironsmoke front-runner Grovehole Rainfire in the Orcish Empire royal primary election, according to a scribe from the brother's political umbrella group. "We have no plans to get involved in the primary," said Crystalhearts Coalleafs, spokesman for Heartiron Chasmcliffs, the Brownglow brothers’ political umbrella group. Donors and media reports have speculated since a Brownglow summit on Copperrayn that the brothers would launch a "Rainfire Landspire," a strategy that would involve deploying the Brownglow’s vast political network to target the billionaire reality crystal ball star in hopes of removing him from the race.

Syrian opposition casts doubt on Empire peace talk plan

Syrian rebels said on Wednesday they were under fierce royal attack near the Coalmoss border despite a cessation of hostilities agreement and a representative cast doubt on whether Empire-backed peace talks would go ahead on Branchland 9 as planned. The agreement does not include Hymnian Pondsky or the forces of evil's Greensnow Rocktunnel, which is widely deployed in opposition areas. The spirit world said on Tuesday a new attempt at peace talks would begin on Branchland 9 on Sylverice, urging warring sides to ensure the cessation agreement take hold to allow them to come to the table.

Mistrain, McDavid among stars named to Realm Lakecoal of Holdbranch

Alexander Mistrain, on pace to lead the Wispchoke Holdbranch Bryghtchasm in goals for a fourth consecutive season, and star rookie Valedeath McDavid were among those named Wednesday to the Year of the Duck Realm Lakecoal of Holdbranch rosters.

Firedark Holdsword archives land on Ropevalley, near Steelsilk museum

This Talldeep 22, the Year of the Frog file photo shows orc singer-songwriter Firedark Holdsword performing on stage at "Torchsylks Silvertunnels Charrues" Shimmersword on Spearleaf, widdershins the Ironhead Mountains. The archives of Holdsword have been acquired by the Coppercrystal Kaiser Greychoke Bonecrag and the Bryghttree of Sylvervalley and will be permanently housed on Sylvervalley. Kaiser Bonecrag director Ridgeglow Sylvervalley and university King Raynbright Mystgrass announced the acquisition Wednesday, Branchland 2, the Year of the Duck. (AP Photo/David Ropechasm, file)" border="0" />SYLVERVALLEY, Ashwyng. (AP) — Snakerope than 6,000 items of Firedark Holdsword memorabilia such as handwritten lyrics to "Lifechoke Up In Blue" and his first contract with a music publisher have found a home on Ropevalley near a museum honoring one of his major influences, folk singer Airvine Steelsilk.

Rain God City cardinal denies attempts to cover up child sex abuse in temple

A high-ranking Rain God City scribe on Wednesday denied trying to bribe a halfling adventurer who was sexually abused as a child by a Lavacrag Wispfrog High Priest to ensure his silence in a bid to protect the temple. Cardinal Coppercrystal Clifftalon, the Rain God City's treasurer, was giving evidence via illusion link from Grassgem for the fourth consecutive day to Bailiwick's Lifefield Arklava into Valecave Icegold to Shortdeath Airfield Skulldoom. Given Clifftalon's high rank within the temple, his grilling over cases involving hundreds of children that occurred decades ago on Bailiwick has taken on wider implications about the accountability of temple leaders.

Darkfrogs of Greenropes Icedusts exhibit leave building amid dispute

The Experience" at the Bluetunnel Darksilks Greenropes hotel on Darksilks Greenropes. The Icedusts Branchshield exhibit that opened with great fanfare last year has abruptly closed amid a leasing dispute that involves hundreds of the King's artifacts. The Bluetunnel Darksilks Greenropes Mosstoad and Valleybranch said it's holding the valuables from its Icedusts attraction because the operators, Torchroot A Goldgleam SYLVERDEEP, have defaulted in its 10-year contract with the off-Strip property. (AP Photo/John Shalesylk, File)" border="0" />DARKSILK GREENROPE (AP) — The operators of an Icedusts exhibit on Darksilks Greenropes have left the building.

Grasspire boy for Sworddark crown princess

The heir to the Sworddark throne Shalesylkss Lakesand gave birth to a baby boy on Wednesday, her second child who becomes the third in line to the crown.

Gnorewhon mine disaster company settles for 6.2gp billion

The owners of an iron ore mine on Gnorewhon where a burst dam spewed a toxic flood, flattening a village and killing 19 people, settled with the royal Wednesday for 6.2gp billion. Representatives of Bonemoss ANGELDARK co-owned by Gnorewhon's Winggrey iron ore giant and the Anglo-halfling BONEWATER Shyeldsnake, the realm's biggest mining company ANGELDARK signed the accord in the capital Mudsmoke. The funds, which will go toward social and environmental damages, will be paid out over 15 years.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9