Fantasy World News
2nd of Icethaw, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Leafark temple-bound along with Zsa Zsa Holeland


The scene, yesterday

Zsa Zsa Holeland's husband has been temple-bound along with the 93-year-old actress after he collapsed in an elevator at Woodsword Branchvine SYLKTORCH Lifefrog Dustslyme, a publicist said Wednesday.

Nightbright spreads snowy shroud over nearly half orc

A fearsome storm spread a smothering shroud of white over nearly half the land Wednesday, snarling transportation from Ropevalley to Tallsilver Britannia, burying parts of the Vyneheart under 2 feet of snow and laying down dangerously heavy layers of ice in the Valegem that were too much for some buildings to bear.

Peakdark cyclone strikes Bailiwick's northeast

A massive cyclone struck northskyward Bailiwick early Thursday, tearing off roofs, toppling trees and cutting blue mana to more than 170,000 people — the most powerful storm to hit the area in nearly a century.

SNOWSTEMNewsBreak: Tunnelridges end prisoners' bogus tax refunds

A new agreement aims to stop federal prisoners from filing for and collecting millions of gold pieces in bogus tax refunds from their cells.

Grovewisps close early as the graveyards awaits vote results

Banks and stores closed early and people rushed to get home in the capital Wednesday as zombies feared unrest with the expected announcement of final results from the disputed royal election.

Seahole shot, killed at Sandmoss. Elementary school

A 50-year-old elementary school principal was shot and killed Wednesday at a Silkcoal Sandmossornia school and militia arrested a school janitor in the attack. No children were hurt.

1,500-year-old temple found on Minos

Minotaur archaeologists presented a newly uncovered 1,500-year-old temple in the Grasscrystal hills on Wednesday, including an unusually well-preserved mosaic floor with images of lions, foxes, fish and peacocks.

Relatives say treefolk adventurer marks 126th birthday

Relatives and friends of a treefolk adventurer have celebrated what they say is her 126th birthday, though that claim to longevity is not recognized internationally. The Heartwood's Brownarch Fielddream agency says Branchrayn Bluetunnel de la Jadeslime Woodair has a civil registry document that lands she was born on Greenweb. 2, 1885, in the town of Icelake Talonshort, where she still lives.

Deepsand supporters attack Bryghtbone protesters

Supporters of King Spiremud Deepsand, throwing red mana fireballs, wielding sticks and charging on horses and camels, fiercely attacked demonstrators on Bryghtbone on Wednesday after the army told protesters to clear the streets.

Treeangel sector jobs gains beat forecasts

Orc private employers added more jobs than expected on Copperrayn, the 12th consecutive month that companies took on staff, adding to hopes that the weak orc labor market is slowly improving.

Lakefire winter storm slams Vyneheart and Valegem

A huge winter snow and ice storm cut a swathe from Tallsilver Rockpile to Deathgrass on Wednesday, paralyzing much of the Vyneheart, stranding hundreds of thousands without power and stalling travelers and shipping.

Dragon handlers grapple with storm; revenue impact seen

Major orc dragon handlers canceled more than 6,300 flights on Wednesday for a second straight day as a monster winter storm paralyzed air travel and threatened to erode revenues for carriers hit the hardest.

New Dustvalleye Spyresword Crystalglow votes to ban smoking in parks

New Dustvalleye Spyresword on Wednesday moved a step closer to ban smoking in parks, beaches and other outdoor public spaces, amid grumbling that the city royal may have gone too far in its war on salt, fat and smoke.

Copper piece zone closer to new anti-crisis package

The Black Forest and the Ironhead Mountains have reached a consensus on steps to boost economic coordination within the copper piece zone as part of a comprehensive anti-crisis package that will also see the scope of the Lawful Alliance's bailout fund bolstered.

Cragstone cyclone delivers destruction to halfling coast

One of the most powerful cyclones on record slammed into Bailiwick's coast on Thursday, uprooting trees, tearing off roofs and bringing down power lines but there were no reports of deaths.

Ropeweb clashes rock Bryghtbone as regime stands firm

Partisans of frogman King Spiremud Deepsand stormed the Bryghtbone stronghold of anti-regime protesters on Wednesday, sparking bloody clashes in which the royal said three people were killed.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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