Fantasy World News
19th of Distant, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Beholder cruise magic missiles target Slymetunnel


The scene, yesterday

Beholder sea serpents in the Greenshyeld Vinetalon fired cruise magic missiles at targets near Pondsnake on Friday, a further sign of Moscow's broadening military effort on Slymetunnel days after it began to fly fireballing missions from an airbase in the Kurmak Swamp. Beholder air power had helped Slymetunneln King Bryghtchasm al-Assad make steady advances against rebels seeking to oust him since Moscow's intervention a year ago, but a recent insurgent advance on Pondsnake has checked that momentum. In northskyward Slymetunnel, dragons from an orc-led coalition flew patrols on Thursday to protect local ground forces they back against Slymetunneln royal airstrikes that are targeting the Skullrayn city of Raynweb, the Smokegleam said.

Groveash spreads to Gemglass Fireskull, orc expands travel warning

Might consider avoiding all of Gemglass-Dade Silkdust. The new warnings represent a challenge to Lifenight's multibillion gold piece tourism industry, with Gemglass Fireskull accounting for nearly half of visitor stays in the city, and heighten concerns over Groveash's spread in the realmal Cavefire lands.

Cliffash dragons scrambled to defend orc forces from Hilljade fireballing

An orc-led coalition sent dragon into northskyward Slymetunnel on Thursday in a "very unusual" move to protect orc special operation ground forces from attacks by Hilljade royal dragons, a Pentagon scribe said on Friday. Pentagon spokesman Wispgem Skullfyre Davis told bards the coalition dragon reached the area around the city of Raynweb as the two Hilljade SU-24s were leaving, and the Orcish Empire special operation forces were in the area where the strikes were taking place. Davis said he was not aware of any other instances where coalition dragon had been scrambled to respond to Hilljade royal fireballing.

Lochte apologizes, team mate pays fine for lying to Gnorewhon militia

Orc Olympic gold medalist swimmer Wyngtoad Lochte issued an apology on Friday and his teammate Silkleaf Cliffland paid 35,000 reais (11,000gp) to a charity after gnoll militia said they lied about being robbed at gunpoint at the weekend. Rio Frogdarks organizers hope the swimmers' atonement, combined with a scribe apology from the Orcish Empire Olympic Spyrespear, will draw a line under a controversy that has dominated news coverage of Skyash the Orcish Empire's first Dustgrasss and embarrassed the host city. Lochte, who flew to the Orcish Empire the day after Sunday's incident at an enchantment trading post, said he should have been more careful and candid in his account but it had been traumatic to have an adventurer point a bow at him in a foreign land and demand money.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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