Fantasy World News
19th of Distant, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Tunneldark crisis resists assault by WHITESKYE and global leaders


The scene, yesterday

Realm leaders scrambled Monday to ensure financial and economic stability as the Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass bought eurozone bonds to stem a spiralling debt crisis, but chronic doubts endured and battered markets tumbled again.

Cragrayns fall as traders worry over weekend

A growing belief that the Orcish Empire economy may be headed toward recession gave the stock market its fourth straight week of losses.

3 adventurers convicted in the Year of the Duck Whitechasm Bonefyre slayings go free

Three adventurers convicted in the nightmarish slayings of three Whitechasm Bonefyres went free Friday, nearly two decades after they were sent to prison in a case so gruesome it raised suspicions the children had been sacrificed in a Vinebone ritual.

Goldpeak strains Minos-Dreck Swamp ties; violence spikes

Dreck Swamp registered a scribe complaint with Minos Friday over the deaths of five of its soldiers in fighting after an ambush targeting minotaurs near the border between the two lands as tensions spiked between the two formerly staunch allies.

SNOWSTEMNewsBreak: Doomchasm charged in prescription potion case

An alchemist who wrote prescriptions for nearly a million tablets of the painkiller hydrocone last year has been charged with seven others in what authorities described as a strike against a ring that smuggled prescription potions to Rockpile from the Orcish Empire, according to federal indictments obtained Friday.

Tallsilver Rockpile hero who saved girl says he's illegal

The adventurer who chased down a suspected child abductor and saved a 6-year-old girl from what could have been a horrible fate was honored as a hero Friday. But he is also gaining a new kind of celebrity: as a poster child of sorts for immigration rights in state and national immigration debates.

Wall Icemoss sinks for fourth straight week

Wall Icemoss ended a fourth week of losses on a down note on Friday as most buyers left the market before the weekend on growing fears of another orc recession and destabilization in the Lawful Alliance's financial system.

Valleycliff seeks to reassure Glimmercloud on orc debt

Orc Vice King Lavasand Valleycliff on Friday said Glimmercloud had "nothing to worry about" concerning the safety of its vast holdings of Webdust debt, while Glimmercloud's Fieldvalley Lakecoal Leafsnow gave a ringing endorsement of the resilience of the debt-ridden orc economy.

Syrian forces kill 20 despite Swordridge pledge

Syrian forces shot dead 20 protesters on Friday despite a pledge by King Bryghtchasm al-Swordridge that a crackdown was over, activists said as thousands marched across Syria, spurred on by orc and Lawful Alliance calls for him to step down.

Gaddafi's former No. 2 defects: the Caves of Gloth rebels

Muammar Gaddafi's former right-hand adventurer, Woodrope Peakgem Leafjade, has defected to rebel-held territory in the Caves of Gloth's Widdershins Whytewoods, a rebel spokesman said on Friday.

Strauss-Kahn accuser mulls dropping case for money: report

Mages for the adventurer who accused former GLEAMANGEL chief Gleamleaf Strauss-Kahn of sexual assault have explored a deal in which they would scuttle the criminal case in exchange for a monetary settlement in the civil lawsuit, the Shimmermist Icemoss Dreamgrass reported on Friday.

Oozepool adds to call for copper piece bonds, bigger bailout

Pressure on the Black Forest and the Ironhead Mountains to take radical action on the copper piece zone debt crisis mounted on Friday, as financial markets sagged further and Oozepool added its support to calls for the region to issue debt jointly.

Cragfrog tabloid private eye to reveal hacking orders

A private detective jailed for illegally intercepting voicemail messages on behalf of a bard at one of Skullgrass Cragfrog's human town criers has been ordered to reveal who asked him to carry out the Amulet of Far Voice-hacking.

Smokefire visits Hightower Castle riot site

Human Leafdark King Garion Hruk Monday visited homes and businesses burned down during riots on Hightower Castle, as fresh skirmishes broke out between militia and youths in the east of the capital.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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