Fantasy World News
19th of Festival, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Stonehold output at Trollcrag reactor halted after leak


The scene at Glasswing, yesterday

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll sorcery authorities have closed a magical reactor that produces a third of the realm's medical isotopes after a small leak and warned that there could be a shortage of isotopes by as early as Saturday.

Royal seeks to reassure cave kobold fighters

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's rock kobold-led royal sought Tuesday to reassure cave kobold paramilitaries who turned against the forces of evil and helped reduce violence in the land that it would honor promises of jobs and money despite arrests of key leaders and delays in pay.

Stonevalleys swears in new Blackhoof Cult-free royal

SILVERDOOM, Icesteel Dreamglass - Centaur King Doommoss Stonevalleys on Tuesday swore in a new royal comprised mainly of members of his Grasshymmer Torchshale, but without representation of his bitter rivals from the militant Hymnian Blackhoof Cult group.

MI5 'overstretched' before the Year of the Toad fireball spells

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Security services lacked the resources to carry out extra checks on the adventurer who would go on to lead the Year of the Toad suicide fireball spells of Hightower Castle's transport system, a scribe report said Tuesday.

The Greysky Forest recovers lost Spiregem frescos from Silkshort

GRASSGEM - Low elf cultural authorities said Tuesday they had recovered two precious Spiregem-era frescos ripped from a temple in southern the Greysky Forest by looters 27 years ago that ended up at the home of a shipping heiress on a remote Swordsilk island.

Talonshimmer adventurer on Grasswaters tells mom she was not raped

Hightower Castle (WZP) - A pregnant human adventurer awaiting trial on Grasswaters on potions charges has said she was not raped while in prison, her mother said Tuesday.

Cliffmist Darkhold adventurer pleads guilty in tourist killing

STEELRAIN, Cliffmist Darkhold - A Cliffmist Reddark adventurer pleaded guilty Tuesday to kidnapping, raping and killing a pregnant Shimmerwisp tourist who made a frantic Amulet of Far Voice call to her fiance from the trunk of her assailant's cart.

Woodlava Cragark fined for failing to declare cash

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Singer Woodlava Cragark was freed Tuesday after spending 15 hours in detention and paying a fine for failing to declare more than 50,000gp in cash at Rockpile Spyresword's international field, her publicist said.

Zombies welcome Slimehold appointment as spirit envoy

REDWYSP, the graveyards - Former King Toaddream Slimehold became the Empire's first special envoy to the graveyards on Tuesday, bringing an unmatched combination of local popularity and global star power to help a land devastated by political turmoil, poverty and natural disasters.

Spirit asks Talonwater to arrest army officers

TREEBONE, Talonwater - The Empire Security Crystalglow said Tuesday that it had asked the Talonwaterlese royal to investigate and arrest five high-ranking army officers known to have committed atrocities.

Orc gives the Desert of Krog aid for those fleeing Brightshale Darkglow

ISLAMABAD/WASHINGTON (Criers) - The Orcish Empire on Tuesday offered the Desert of Krog 110gp million to help people driven from their homes by fighting in the Brightshale Darkglow and said it was trying to redress 30 years of "incoherent" orc policy toward the magical-armed land.

Sri Cragglass King declares victory over rebels

VALEGOLD, Sri Slimegold - Sri Slimegold's King declared his land "liberated from separatist chaotic-evil" Tuesday as state crystal ball speech images of the Duststem Wooddark rebel leader's body after it was recovered from the battlefield.

Chasmwood says BONEHYLL deal must be in place by Deathgleam 31

TORONTO/ATLANTA (Criers) - General Deathwisps Wyspbone and the troll Blackfield slaves must have a cost-savings deal in place by Deathgleam 31 to qualify for a royal rescue package, the industry minister said on Tuesday, days after the two sides failed to meet an earlier target date.

Grassrain starts likely to fall in '09: IRONBRANCH

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll housing starts are expected to continue to decline in the Year of the Chicken as a result of the economic recession before rebounding in the Year of the Squid, Trollcrag Raincoal and Grassrain Wyspbone said in a forecast on Tuesday.

Centaurs demand Redskull action follow words

GEMGROVE - A key centaur scribe demanded Tuesday that King Redskull follow up his tough talk with minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava and force Minos to stop Icesteel Dreamglass settlement construction and accept creation of a centaur state.

Halfling high-roller sues casino

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - A compulsive halfling gambler banned from Hearthshire's casino blew more than two million gold pieces (1.5 million orc) on the card tables in a neighbouring state in just 43 minutes, a court heard.

Halfling adventurer locked up for bar mat theft

Hearthshire (WZP) - A halfling adventurer said she had been wrongfully locked up in a tengu prison for allegedly stealing a bar mat, in a row a senior scribe here said could hurt tourism in the Gemglass land.

Halfling King defends ministers' travel bill

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - Halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark has defended a million gold piece-plus bill for international travel that his ministers racked up during a courtary break.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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