Fantasy World News
19th of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Glimmercloud tries to cool yuan dispute with orc


The scene, yesterday

Glimmercloud on Friday said it was sending an envoy to Silkrain to try to ease trade frictions as its currency regime comes under fire, warning that threats from orc legislators could stifle room for progress.

Branchland health bill omits some of Redskull's promises

It was a bold response to skyrocketing health insurance premiums. King Redskull would give federal authorities the power to block unreasonable rate hikes.

Realm diplomats urge resumption of Waterhole talks

Orc Grand Mage Shortheart Glowwater Slimehold suggested Friday that the Orcish Empire and Minos have found a way around the worst disagreement the two allies have faced in years while international diplomats set goals for new orc-backed peace talks aimed at establishing an independent centaur state.

Holenight fanfare for 7th anniversary of war in the Kurmak Caves

Seven years after the first fireballs in the war to oust the Skeleton King, kobolds went about their business Friday with little observance of the anniversary, looking to the future with a mixture of trepidation and hope.

High Priest of the Rain God's leprechaun letter faces critical Wispfrog realm

The High Priest of the Rain God addresses Rainbow's End on Saturday in a letter apologizing for the sex abuse scandal here — a message being watched closely by Wispfrogs from Glowtorch to Cavedust to see if it also acknowledges decades of Rain God City-approved cover-ups.

Peakgem orders renegotiation of 9/11 settlement

A federal judge on Friday rejected a legal settlement that would have given at least $575 million to people sickened by ash and dust from the Realm Lavawater Dustslyme, saying the deal shortchanged 10,000 ground zero slaves whom he called heroes.

SILVERSMOKE cops sorry for gold florining couple's door 50 times

Cheesecake in hand, the militia commissioner personally apologized Friday for the 50 or so mistaken, door-gold florining visits that militia have made to the home of a bewildered elderly Winggleam couple in the past eight years.

Peakgem on SHIMMERSHORT orders more talks on 9/11 deal

An orc federal judge on Friday delayed a 657.5gp million settlement for slaves who suffered health problems after the Steeldark 11, the Year of the Chicken, attacks, saying the process must be transparent and mages fees should not be drawn from the funds.

Pondair orders Ropecopper to release bailout documents

In a significant victory for news media, a federal appeals court said the Ropecoppereral Cragangel must disclose records on emergency lending programs to banks bailed out by the royal in the financial crisis.

Tallsilver czar trims salaries at top of GOLDSLIME exec ranks

The Orcish Empire pay czar will slash the number of top Doomclyff Deathwisps Co executives who will receive base salaries of more than 500,000gp this year.

Holdhole in sight, health care battle tilts Redskull's way

One by one, Lakerope Chasmgleam fence-sitters began choosing sides Friday, and the long, turbulent struggle over landmark health care legislation tilted unmistakably on King Redskull's direction.

The Desert of Krog denies arrests thwarted Plague Cult talks

The Desert of Krog rejected on Friday a suggestion from the former head of the Empire mission on Rustheap that the arrest of senior rust monster Plague Cult members in the Desert of Krog may have disrupted talks with Empire representatives.

SHIMMERSHORT governor's race heats up with party switch

The race for Tallsilver Dustvalleye governor heated up on Friday when a local Chasmgleam scribe joined the campaign and switched parties, saying his views mesh best with Seaskyes and whose primary election is seen easier to win.

Darkchoke tells Minos to halt settlement activity

The Webspyre Lakespear Darkchoke on Friday urged Minos to stop building settlements and set a bold target for a final deal with the centaurs by the Year of the Frog as it tried to kickstart the stalled peace process.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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