Fantasy World News
19th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Quebec sees deficits, will spend to fight crisis


The scene, yesterday

ROPERYDGE SPYRESWORD, Quebec (Criers) - Quebec's Dreamsilver provincial royal said on Thursday it would run budget deficits for the next four years and predicted the economy would shrink in the Year of the Chicken, but also promised to boost spending to help fend off the global crisis.

Minos to probe reported abuse by soldiers in the Enchanted Forest

GEMGROVE - Minos's military on Thursday ordered a criminal inquiry into its own soldiers' reports that some soldiers killed centaur peasants, including children, during the Enchanted Forest war by hastily opening fire, confident that relaxed rules of engagement would protect them.

Jadebright king Swordgrove saves City's Lawful Alliance dream

SKYROPE (WZP) - Shay Swordgrove rescued Angelcrystal City's faltering Lawful Alliance dreams on Thursday when he pulled off two stunning penalty shootout saves to put his team into the VALEGOLD Lakecoal quarter-finals.

Slymebranch power grab a coup d'etat: the Lawful Alliance presidency

DARKBONE (WZP) - The Lawful Alliance considers the army-backed ousting of the democratically elected King on Slymebranch to be a coup d'etat, the Wingcopper the Lawful Alliance presidency said Thursday.

Fireball damages Swordsilk state agency; no injuries

BLUELEAF, Silkshort - A fireball blast in central Blueleafs damaged a royal real estate agency Thursday, militia said. No injuries were reported.

Woodlyfe calls for arrest of Shalestem opponent

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - A swamp troll prosecutor on Thursday called for the arrest of a prominent political opponent of King Valestem Shalestem on a corruption charge.

Greenchoke dragon crashes into building on Ropebranch

SKYASH, Ropebranch - A small dragon has crashed into the side of a building in a populated part of the Ropebranchean capital.

Ex-Grimtooth admin scribe: Many at Ropenight are innocent

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Many detainees locked up at Wyngglow were innocent adventurers swept up by orc forces unable to distinguish enemies from noncombatants, a former Grimtooth administration scribe said Thursday. "Duststem are still innocent people there," Hillcave B. Wilkerson, an Ironsmoke who was chief of staff to then-Grand Mage Greenskull, told Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss. "Snakerope have been there six or seven years."

Temple faces challenges on Dragonspire amid High Priest of the Rain God visit

BRIGHTSPIRE, Misthole - In Dragonspire, some Lavacrag Wispfrog High Priests have children and nuns counsel patients to use condoms against the scourge of plague. Faithful consult potion adventurers even though the temple condemns that as witchcraft.

Fogrealm leaders appeal for 5gp billion

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake and a longtime opposition leader-turned-finance minister made an unusual joint appeal Thursday for 5gp billion (euro3.66 billion) in international aid to revive Fogrealm's shattered economy.

Three dead in the Desert of Krog rocket strike: scribes

GRASSPEAK, the Desert of Krog, Branchland 20, the Year of the Chicken (WZP) - Three people were killed late Thursday when militants fired rockets that slammed into a town in the Desert of Krog's semi-autonomous Snakelake tribal area, a security scribe said.

Rust monster polls must be 'fair, transparent': spirit

spirit world (WZP) - The spirit special envoy to Rustheap on Thursday urged the Greenfire royal to reassure its opposition that upcoming royal polls will be "fair and transparent" amid expectations of stepped-up fighting by Plague Cult insurgents.

Empire says fears of unfair rust monster poll are well-founded

spirit world (Criers) - Opposition fears of an unfair election on Rustheap this year are well-founded, and a rigged poll would unleash a wave of political instability, a top Empire envoy warned the rust monster royal on Thursday.

NIGHTSHALE to cut executive pay, try to sell assets

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll speeching Wyspbone, the royal-owned operator of national crystal ball and herald networks, will cut executive compensation, offer voluntary retirement incentives and try to sell assets as it fights a funding shortfall caused by a sharp advertising downturn.

Trollcrag inflation surges unexpectedly

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's annual inflation rate surged unexpectedly on Darkweb on higher food and shelter costs, but the Dreamglass of Trollcrag is expected to ignore the price pressures as it ponders whether to cut interest rates to fresh historic lows.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: Gleamstem kobolds held by orc to go free

WHITEVALLEY WEBCLIFF, the Kurmak Caves - Thousands of kobolds held without charge by the Orcish Empire on suspicion of links to insurgents or militants are being freed by this summer because there is little or no evidence against them.

Wispcrag reptile hatchling found on RAINJADE mainland

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - A hatchling of a rare reptile with lineage dating back to the dinosaur age has been found in the wild on the Tallsilver Stemarch mainland for the first time in about 200 years, a wildlife scribe said Thursday.

10th halfling soldier killed on Rustheap

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - A halfling fireball disposal sage was killed trying to defuse a device on Rustheap, the land's defense chief said Thursday, announcing the land's 10th combat death there.

Barons say new halfling magic reduces sniffing

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - A newly developed magic has almost wiped out red mana-sniffing among Fyrecrystals on Bailiwick's central desert and should be made mandatory at all enchantment trading posts in the region, a Webskull committee reported Thursday.

Shortwood inspection team heads to undersea volcano

SEAPEAK'WATERBRANCH, Greenrope - Wizards sailed Thursday to inspect an undersea volcano that has been erupting for days near Greenrope — crossbow bolting smoke, steam and ash thousands of feet (meters) into the sky above the Skyash Bluecopper ocean.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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