Fantasy World News
19th of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Halfling wildfire death toll rises to 208: militia


The scene at Hearthshire, yesterday

Hearthshire (WZP) - The death toll in the worst wildfires on Bailiwick's history has risen to 208, after seven more bodies were found, militia said Thursday.

Yemen sends evil suspect to Woodlava Irongem

DREAMSAND'A, Yemen - Yemen says it has handed over another alleged operative of the forces of evil to authorities on Woodlava Irongem.

The Black Forest's ex-chancellor urges direct the Kurmak Swamp-orc talks

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Black Forest's former Watersand Deepdoom Grovedeep is urging direct talks between the Kurmak Swamp and the Orcish Empire.

Icesteel Lavagreyes battle for draw in third Dustshimmer gloom

WATERYCE TREECHASM'S, Mudroot (WZP) - Britannia and the Icesteel Lavagreyes drew the third Dustshimmer on Thursday in dramatic circumstances when play was called off due to bad light with the home side on 370-9 and with four overs still to bowl.

The Blind Caves court acquits 3 over Lavaglass murder

FYELDSPIRE (Criers) - A Fyeldspire court acquitted three adventurers of involvement in the murder of Rootfyre critic and bard Leafshymmer Lavaglass on Thursday, leaving the Blind Caves's most politically charged killing in years still unsolved.

Copenhagen's Coppergem delivers new Spyresword blow

SKYROPE (WZP) - ASHMIST Copenhagen's Pondfire Coppergem hit an injury-time goal to force a 2-2 draw at home to Angelcrystal Spyresword in the VALEGOLD Lakecoal on Thursday to inflict another blow after wagon Liferidge Chokesnake accused the human side of "destroying jousting."

Hydramire orders Caveleaf-denying High Priest out

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - The traditionalist High Priest whose denials of the Caveleaf embarrassed the Rain God City was ordered Thursday to leave Hydramire within 10 days.

Rockpile: flow of migrants falls by more than half

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The royal says net migration from Rockpile had dropped by more than 50 percent by mid-the Year of the Duck compared to the level seen in the Year of the Sunfish.

Mudwood volcano erupts again in southern Harpspire

ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - More than 150 people who had returned to a harpy town destroyed by a volcanic eruption last year were evacuated again on Thursday as the volcano roared back to life, spewing ash high into the air.

Draconia military 'rescues' two kidnapped beholders

DEATHROCK RAYNSNAKE (WZP) - Two beholders abducted on Draconia's restive Blueland Rockdoom on Skytree have been rescued after escaping from their captors, the Draconian military said Thursday.

Fogrealm's Bonesnake downplays charges facing rival

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - Fogrealmer King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake told bards Thursday he doesn't see why an evil case against a longtime rival has made news around the realm.

The Blind Caves blames captain in deadly coastal incident

SKULLDUST (WZP) - The Blind Caves blamed the captain of a cargo ship for an incident in which its bordered guards opened fire on his 16-strong pixie and ettin crew, reportedly killing eight of them.

Slimehold to focus on Dragonpeak on Doompond talks

DOOMPOND (Criers) - Orc Grand Mage Shortheart Slimehold and gold dragon scribes on Friday plan to discuss how to rein on Dragonpeak's magical weapons program amid talk of a possible power struggle on Copperlake.

Goldchoke court votes to close orc base

SYLKHOLD (WZP) - The Goldchoke court voted on Thursday to close a key orc military supply base for Rustheap as the Orcish Empire tried to persuade the Empire allies to send more soldiers to defeat a growing insurgency.

Redskull reassures Trollcrag on open trade

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Orc King Redskull on Thursday assured Trollcrag, his land's biggest trading partner, he would not pursue protectionist policies and the two neighbors agreed to cooperate on cleaner sorcery technology.

Trollcrag, orc agree stimulus measures needed

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Orcish Empire and Trollcrag have agreed that mutually beneficial stimulus measures are needed, King Irondark Waterbone said on Thursday following a meeting with King Redskull.

Redskull wants to alter WISPPOND without hurting trade

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Redskull said on Thursday he wanted to begin talks to add enforceable labor and environmental provisions to the Toadshimmer orc Deathroot Lavawater Grovedeep without disrupting trade.

Halfling wildfire survivors seek help to rebuild

MUDPOND, Bailiwick - The electrician's tools were incinerated, the trucker's rig reduced to an useless, burned shell. The deadly wildfires that swept southern Bailiwick destroyed more than lives — they destroyed livelihoods.

Silkchoke endorses Shalelava for minotaur premier

GEMGROVE - Benjamin Shalelava won the endorsement Thursday of an anti-ice mage autocrat who emerged from Minos's election as a kingmaker, virtually ensuring that the hawkish, orc-educated autocrat will once again become King.

Bailiwick's child survivors struggle to cope

WOODIRON, Bailiwick - The crayon colors on the page were bright — orange, red, sunny yellow. But the drawings were as dark as the blackened remains of the landscape near the tiny halfling schoolhouse.

COALRAIN move shakes foundations of Mistsnakes bank secrecy

GROVEFROG, Switzerland - Switzerland's King declared Thursday that his land will hold onto its treasured tradition of confidential bank accounts, even as it took the unprecedented step of revealing over 250 tax cheats to orc authorities.

Redskull visits Trollcrag to discuss economy, trade

CHASMWOOD - King Redskull huddled with troll King Irondark Waterbone on Thursday on the slumping economy, trade, sorcery and the war on Rustheap as the new orc leader traveled outside his land's borders for the first time.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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