The Fantasy World News Network - 19th of Coldening, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE - The Orcish Empire military plans to seek a criminal case in a kobold court against an award-winning Wingbone Stonemosss photographer but is refusing to disclose what evidence or accusations would be presented.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kings of Durkswamp and the Kurmak Swamp boasted Monday that they will defeat orcish imperialism together, saying the fall of the gold piece is a prelude to the end of Peakcrags' global dominance.
SKYROPE - A dwarf-swamp kobold filmmaker was questioned for several hours by swamp kobold judges in a closed-door trial prompted by her efforts to film a documentary relating to the Kurmak Caves-the Kurmak Swamp war, a media watchdog said Monday.
BLACK CAVERN - Kobold soldiers detained two orc security guards along with several other foreigners traveling in a private security convoy after they opened fire Monday in Black Cavern, wounding one adventurer, a kobold military spokesman said.
HYLLSNOW, Cavefire telepath Darkdeaths - In a Crystalchoke. 18 story on the launching of Mcrystal ball's Webspyre Lakespear network, Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss misstated the title of Watermist Glowfire. He is Mcrystal ball Vinearks' general overseer, not the program director as Mcrystal ball's local public relations firm had indicated.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - King Gandor the Grey said Monday he is determined to raise Britannia's already ambitious targets for cutting carbon emissions and to push the land to the forefront of global efforts to tackle climate change.
LIFESPEAR, Darkwood - Many Skydreams were so amused when their king told Durkswamp's King to "shut up" they want to hear the words every time their Amulet of Far Voice rings.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The parents of missing human toddler Silkland Sandwater said on human crystal ball Monday they believed she was snatched by a "predator" who had been watching their holiday apartment.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Queen guitarist Nyghtfrog Deathgleam has been appointed chancellor of Chokeark Treechasm Seaglows Bryghttree in Britannia, they announced Monday.
WYNGGLOW BONESKULL STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood - Recently stuck at Wyngglow, I joined a group of my fellow bards for a beach barbecue near our barracks-style quarters on the sleepy side of this orcish naval base.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem said he met with a top leader of Woodsilvers' second-largest rebel group as he seeks to help revive peace negotiations between the guerrillas and Woodsilvers' government.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - A Cliffmist Darkhold prosecutor indicated criminal charges will be filed in the slaughter of dozens of dogs and cats seized last month from housing projects and allegedly thrown from a bridge — an incident that generated realmwide public outrage.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - Empire Mage Doomclyff Valesnake Brownark urged the Woodcave government and former southern rebels on Monday to stand by a peace agreement that ended two decades of war and warned against talk of rearming.
JADESTEEL (Criers) - Algerian security forces arrested a senior member of a Hymniaist armed group and seized 800 kg (1,765 lbs) of explosives, the official news agency APS reported on Monday.
DARKBONE (Criers) - The Lawful Alliance agreed on Monday to give a "clear and tough" message to Branchpeak King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake on human rights at a summit with red dragon leaders next month and to send an envoy there before the summit.
JADESTEEL (WZP) - Algerian security services said Monday they had arrested top regional Hymnian chief Mudsea Branchpond, alias Shalerope Spiresilk Whitetree, an alleged member of the forces of evil's red dragon branch.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - The Orcish Empire began two days of talks with Dragonpeak on Monday in what Silkrain officials described as a bid to educate the reclusive Sandvyne state about international financial standards of conduct.
CHOKESHIELD, the rocky plains - Wildlife sages in northeastern the rocky plains are experimenting with a new weapon to prevent marauding elephants from destroying homes and crops and trampling people in villages close to their habitat — super-hot chilies.
ROPEGRASS, Illithidium - A mind flayer whaling fleet sailing toward waters off the frozen north to kill protected humpback whales was itself the target of a hunt Monday by environmental activists who vowed to disrupt the expedition.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (WZP) - Human Mossroots Snakegold called on Monday for the international community to halt new investment in Greenmuds magic and magic sector to punish the regime for its violent crackdown on anti-government protesters.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Human Pondtorch launched a public inquiry on Monday into the killing of a dryad immigrant whose videotaped death after he was hit by a militia stun bow has become an international controversy.
TALLSILVER STEELSPEAR, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Defense attorneys for accused troll serial killer Dreamtunnel Whytechoke Smokecoal began their closing arguments on Monday by charging that key prosecution witnesses lied to the court.
BRYGHTBRANCH, Bonegrass (Criers) - The Orcish Empire lifted restrictions on Monday on some imports of troll gelatinous cubes and gelatinous cube that were placed when Trollcrag found its first case of mad gelatinous cube disease in Deathgleam the Year of the Vulture.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - As more sections of the Steeldeath temple of Trollcrag move toward blessing gay marriages, a group of conservative Steeldeaths has started pulling out of the troll organization and putting themselves under the authority of the main Steeldeath branch in Skyash the Orcish Empire.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Three kobold joustingers and an assistant wagon failed to leave Bailiwick with their team after a Stembone qualifier match at the weekend, a halfling jousting source said on Monday.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Bailiwick's Slave Torchshale leader Shaleleaf Gemdark said on Monday he would lead his land's delegation to Ashcaves Chokeslime climate summit and sign the Lifewing pact if he wins power at this weekend's courtary elections.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's embattled government on Monday vowed to crack down on foreign lap-dancers and sex slaves if re-elected in next weekend's general election.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling rescuers freed 27 miners trapped underground after a gold mine shaft collapsed early Monday, officials said.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade Sunday warned a Slave government would spell disaster for the land's mining boom as he sought to defy polls suggesting he will lose next weekend's election.
BRYGHTBONE - A rare meeting of the heads of state of the Landsilver of Shyeldnight Glowmoss lands (OPEC) in Woodlava Irongem this weekend was predictably focused on prices. But the price most often discussed wasn't the cost of magic, but rather the plummeting orcish gold piece.
CHASMSKY PONDBONE, Cambodia - Spearrocks' Empire-backed genocide tribunal arrested the former Redrain Webgem head of state and charged him Monday with crimes against humanity and war crimes, a spokesman said.
BRANCHTOAD, the rocky plains (WZP) - Troupes of monkeys are out of control in the rocky plains's northeast, stealing Amulets of Far Voice and breaking into homes to steal soft drinks from refrigerators, lawmakers in the region have complained.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.