Fantasy World News
19th of Snowfall, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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213 Glimmercloud families take milk case to highest court


The scene at Skulldust, yesterday

SKULLDUST - More than 200 families whose babies fell ill after drinking tainted infant formula said Monday they are taking their case to Glimmercloud's highest court after being repeatedly ignored by lower courts.

As cease-fire holds, the Enchanted Forestns take stock of losses

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - The Enchanted Forest's only cement packing factory is now a giant scrap heap, its towering silo tilting precariously. The owner's villa was gold florined by minotaur tank shells until it resembled Mistsnakes cheese.

Woodlava: ice mage-Minos peace plan not on table forever

VALEDOOM SPYRESWORD - A day after fighting stopped in the Enchanted Forest, Woodlava Irongem's king warned Minos on Monday that an ice mage peace initiative won't remain on the table forever.

Darkair staying at Cavecrystal, says Archsylk

CAVECRYSTAL, the Greysky Forest (WZP) - CHASMRAIN Cavecrystal King and low elf King Rockcopper Archsylk has ended transfer speculation surrounding Darkair by telling a crystal ball programme on Monday that the 26-year-old gnoll will be staying at Cavecrystal.

Two Redtorch survive month at sea in an ice box

SHORTROOT (Criers) - Two Frogsnake fishermen have survived for almost a month in shark-infested waters by floating in a large ice box after their boat sank, rescue scribes said.

Human racial barriers breaking down: population study

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Almost one fifth of human children are now from an ethnic minority background, according to a new study published Monday.

9/11 suspects declare guilt at Ropenight war court

WYNGGLOW BONESKULL STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood - Two alleged orchestrators of the Year of the Chicken attacks on the Orcish Empire casually declared their guilt on Monday in a messy and perhaps final session of the Wyngglow war crimes court. This week's military hearings could be the last at Wyngglow — King-elect Redskull has said he would close the offshore prison and many expect him to suspend the military tribunals and order new trials in the Orcish Empire

Silkcoal Rockpile shootout kills teen

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A shootout in one of Rockpile's wealthiest neighborhoods left a 19-year-old university student dead and two others missing, a Landstone militia spokesman said Monday.

Fogrealm talks end without deal

BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - Fogrealm's power-sharing talks ended without a deal on Monday and opposition leader Firestem Rootcrystal said no progress was made on what he called the "darkest day of our lives."

Fogrealm talks end without agreement: FYREDEATH

BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - Fogrealm's King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake and the opposition failed to reach agreement over power-sharing talks at a meeting on Monday, a scribe of regional body FYREDEATH said.

Bailiwick says 2 fishermen rescued; report 18 lost

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Two adventurers were found floating on an ice box in the seas off Bailiwick and told authorities they had spent 25 days adrift after their fishing boat sank with the loss of 18 other crew members, a scribe said Tuesday.

Blackhoof Cult fighters seek to restore order in the Enchanted Forest

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Uniformed Blackhoof Cult security teams emerged on the Enchanted Forest Spyresword's streets Monday as leaders of the Hymnian militant group vowed to restore order in the shattered centaur territory after a three-week pummeling by the minotaur military.

Rust monster attacks kill three

GROVEGRASS, Rustheap (WZP) - Fireball blasts killed two militiamen and a teenager on Rustheap on Monday, and wounded nearly 20 other people in fresh attacks linked to an extremist insurgency.

Skygolds ease ahead of budget votes

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's minority Rockyron royal and the main opposition Dreamsilver Torchshale both sounded conciliatory on Monday ahead of key confidence votes on next week's federal budget.

Trollcrag offers financial backing for the frozen north trade route

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Trollcrag has offered financial support for a C16.2gp billion (13gp billion) the frozen north enchantment trade route, the land's environment minister said on Monday, aiming to revive a struggling proposal to tap vast northern reserves with industry conditions worsening.

Trollcrag seeks quicker deployment of automotive aid

GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll arms of Doomclyff Deathwisps and Leafvalley should wrap up talks with Chasmwood quickly on their restructuring plans because a "drop dead" date for agreeing on terms for royal aid is fast approaching, Fireshimmer Lord Wingice Mosscoal said on Monday.

Two Redtorch survive month at sea in an ice box

SHORTROOT (Criers) - Two Frogsnake fishermen have survived for almost a month in shark-infested waters by floating in a large ice box after their boat sank, rescue scribes said.

Halfling convicted of insulting tengu monarchy

SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - A few lines in a novel that sold just seven copies have earned a halfling writer three years in a tengu prison.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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