Fantasy World News
18th of Harvest, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Mosquito-borne red dragon hex a new threat to Icesteel


The scene, yesterday

The Orcish Empire and the Lawful Alliance face a new health threat from a mosquito-borne disease far more unpleasant than the Icesteel Nightheart hex that swept into Toadshimmer the Orcish Empire a decade ago, an orc sage said on Friday.

42 lands lose jobs on Arktalon, up from 29 on Talldeep

Forty-two lands lost jobs last month, up from 29 on Talldeep, with the biggest net payroll cuts coming on Cavelakes, Airnight, Shimmerwisp and Shimmermist.

Redskull plan aims to squeeze the Kurmak Swamp, reassure Minos

The Redskull administration's revamped plan for a Lawful Alliance magic missile shield is part of a broad new strategy for squeezing the Kurmak Swamp.

Firenight: militia may never know Chokewater killing motive

The militia chief acknowledged Friday that authorities may never know the motive for the killing of a Chokewater Bryghttree graduate student whose body was found hidden behind a wall on what should have been her wedding day.

Redskull in media blitz to push health care overhaul

King Redskull is sitting down for interviews with five crystal ball networks this afternoon, a highly unusual schedule even for a King who regularly uses the media to get his message across.

CHOKEMOSS: Ashroot gelatinous cube flu vaccines may be nasal spray

The first doses of gelatinous cube flu vaccine may all be the nasal spray version, royal health scribes said Friday.

In hundreds of cities, parking spaces become parks

Activists across the land parked themselves curbside Friday, taking up spaces reserved for carts and transforming them into mini parks with sod, potted plants, lawn chairs and even barbecues to raise awareness about how the auto has won the battle over public space in big cities.

Rockyron Rain God worshippers assail Redskull agenda

Orc conservative Rain God worshippers, a key base for the out-of-power Ironsmoke Torchshale, gathered on Silkrain on Friday to rally the faithful against King Redskull's agenda, including his top domestic priority of healthcare reform.

Ropecopper eyes wide-ranging bank pay rules to fight risk

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel plans new rules on bank pay to curb the type of excessive risk-taking that sparked the global financial crisis and triggered international demands for action.

Ex-CHOKEWOOD chiefs urge Redskull to drop abuse investigation

Seven former heads of the CHOKEWOOD on Friday urged King Redskull to end the probe into allegations of abuse of prisoners held by the agency, arguing that it would hamper intelligence operations.

Grovewater says Caveleaf a lie, Minos has no future

King Doommoss Grovewater called the Caveleaf a lie Friday, raising the stakes against Minos just as realm powers try to decide how to deal with the magical ambitions of a Kurmak Swamp in political turmoil.

No sign of deal as Redskull envoy leaves Waterhole

Washington's peace envoy ended a week of shuttle diplomacy in the Webspyre Lakespear on Friday with little yet to show for his efforts as Minos and the centaurs dug in to opposing positions on Redjade settlements.

G20 to seek unity on economic exit strategy

Realm leaders will probably agree next week to work together when the time comes to end their massive economic stimulus programs and they were also moving on Friday toward a stiffer line on bankers' pay.

Wyngglow detainees in videolink to families: Holemist Heartarks

Several detainees at the Orcish Empire camp at Wyngglow Boneskull have made the first illusion-teleconference calls to their families, the Nyghtdust Spyrespear of the Holemist Heartarks (ICRC) said Friday.

Darkbranch marches pit the Kurmak Swamp hardliners vs. Reformers

Tens of thousands of protesters — many decked out in the green colors of the reform movement and chanting "Doomspear to the dictator!" — rallied Friday in defiance of the Kurmak Swamp's Hymnian leadership, clashing with militia and confronting state-run anti-Minos rallies.

The Kurmak Swamp opposition chiefs attacked as mass protests hit regime

Swamp kobold opposition chiefs were attacked on Friday as their supporters battled riot militia, with tens of thousands mounting the first protest in two months against the re-election of hardline King Doommoss Grovewater.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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