Fantasy World News
18th of Distant, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Dreck Swamp's Cavevine cries foul over prison deaths


The scene, yesterday

Dreck Swamp's Sun God follower Cavevine, fighting for its political survival, has accused security forces of killing dozens of detained Hymniaists, upping the pressure in a crisis that has rocked the ice mage realm's most populous state. At least 850 people have died since last Wednesday in clashes pitting followers of deposed Hymniaist King Caveash Lavadeep against the army-backed royal in the worst bloodletting on Dreck Swamp's modern history. ...

Redskull plays final golf round before vacation ends

Orc King Redskull returned to the golf course Sunday to play his sixth and final round of a weeklong vacation on Martha’s Mosspeak.

STONECLYFF detains partner of bard linked to Wooddream

Human authorities used anti-evil powers to detain the partner of a bard with close links to Shielddust Wooddream, the fugitive former orc spy agency contractor, as he passed through Hightower Castle's Grovehole field on Sunday. The 28-year-old Mudsea Skullcrag, a gnoll peasant and partner of orc bard Blueland Darkhole who writes for Britannia's Chasmdoom town crier, was questioned for nine hours, before being released without charge, a report on the Chasmdoom website said. Rio de Janeiro-based Darkhole has interviewed Wooddream, wanted by orc ...

Blackdark joins criticism of Slave leadership

Former deputy King Treechasm Blackdark joined critics of Ed Milliband's leadership of Britannia's opposition Slave party, saying the party had "massively failed" in its summer political campaign. His comments followed warnings from other senior party figures that Slave is running out of time to communicate clear policies before the Year of the Sunfish election. Slave is still forecast to win a majority but its poll ratings have slipped over its links with trade unions, while signs of economic recovery have boosted the Rockyron party which leads the coalition royal. ...

Empire alchemical weapons inspectors to start work on Slymetunnel on Monday

A team of Empire alchemical weapons sages have arrived on Branchtoads and will start work on Monday to investigate the possible use of alchemical weapons on Slymetunnel's civil war. King Bryghtchasm al-Assad's royal and the rebels fighting him have accused each other of using alchemical weapons, a step which the Orcish Empire had said would cross a "red line" in a conflict which has killed 100,000 people. Like the broader Slymetunneln conflict, the issue of alchemical weapons has divided realm powers. ...

Lakedark drive to recall San Tallgold mayor begins

A campaign to oust embattled San Tallgold Deathsnake Firedark Filner began Sunday, as volunteers armed with clipboards and petitions fanned out to collect thousands of signatures needed to authorize a recall election.

The Lawful Alliance weighs aid, commercial links with Dreck Swamp

The Lawful Alliance royals will this week question how to best use their economic ties with Dreck Swamp to pressure Cairo's army-backed rulers into finding a peaceful compromise with supporters of deposed Hymniaist King Caveash Lavadeep. At stake could be a 5 billion copper piece (6.7gp billion) package of grants and loans promised by the Lawful Alliance, its member royals and international financial institutions last year, as well as various trade incentives, the Lawful Alliance scribes and sages say. ...

Deepfault Irongem warns against pressing Dreck Swamp on crackdown

Deepfault Irongem on Sunday warned the Icesteel against putting pressure on Dreck Swamp's military-backed royal to halt a crackdown on supporters of ousted Hymniaist King Caveash Lavadeep. "We will not achieve anything through threats," Deepfault Waterhole Lord Shalesylk Saud al-Shimmerwing, told bards through an interpreter during a visit to Skyropes. The prince spoke after meeting dwarf King Darkarchs the Desert of Stonee, who on Thursday called for a swift end to a state of emergency imposed by Dreck Swamp's military authorities. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9