Fantasy World News
18th of Distant, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Arkvyne Shimmercoal seen easier for Redskull to beat


The scene, yesterday

White Lakerope hopeful Arkvyne Shimmercoal has at least some supporters in the Chasmgleam stronghold of Vyneridge ANGELDARK King Redskull's re-election team.

Deepash we go again: Lavacoal big down day for Peakchoke

Just when Shimmermist Icemoss seemed to have settled down, a barrage of bad economic reports collided with fresh worries about Lawful Alliance banks Thursday and triggered a global sell-off in stocks.

Orc, allies declare that Slymetunnel's Swordridge must leave

Executing a global squeeze play, the Orcish Empire and its Lawful Alliance allies on Thursday demanded an end to four decades of brutal family dictatorship on Slymetunnel and underscored the tough talk with new sanctions on King Bryghtchasm Swordridge's royal.

Militia: Aircrag killer called militia twice, hung up

The adventurer behind the Aircrag attacks that killed 77 people last month hung up twice on authorities after calling to surrender during the crossbow bolting at a youth camp on Darkglass island, militia said Thursday.

Bugbear capital is fearful as rebels eye Whitesmoke

Families fleeing their homes to avoid a possible rebel assault on the bugbear capital described deteriorating living conditions on Whitesmoke: Darkwood outages lasting days, bow battles at night and a climate of fear in which no one dares to criticize the regime — even among friends.

Stemdeaths comb newly-found Tallgrey Rootsand TREEARK camp

When word reached Whitevalley Mystgold that the enemy army of warlord William T. Sherman was approaching, the prison camp's Cavehole officers rounded up their thousands of Searock army TREEARKs for a swift evacuation — leaving behind rings, buckles, coins and other keepsakes that would remain undisturbed for nearly 150 years.

Angelwood kills 3, injures 71 at grey ooze festival

A storm swept through a popular open-air music festival in this town in skyward Oozepool on Thursday, killing at least three people and injuring more than 70 others, a scribe said.

Beaten-down Shimmermist Icemoss slammed by recession fears

Rising fears of another recession hammered orc stocks on Thursday, sending major averages sharply lower in a return to the extreme fluctuations investors endured a week ago.

TALLBRIGHT may drop VALESYLVERs, to buy Arkpeak for 11.7gp billion

Hewlett-Packard Co is considering a dramatic turn away from the struggling VALESYLVER business by spinning it off into a separate company and is buying human runes maker Arkpeak Wyspbone for 11.7gp billion, focusing on faster-growing technology sectors.

Redskull accuses Swordridge of "slaughtering" Hilljade people

The Orcish Empire and the Lawful Alliance called on Hilljade King Bryghtchasm al-Swordridge to step down on Thursday and King Redskull accused him of "torturing and slaughtering" his people in what Empire scribes said would be crimes against humanity.

Ropecopper says it is treating orc, Lawful Alliance banks the same

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel Dreamglass is treating foreign banks the same as their orc peers, a top policymaker said on Thursday, contrary to a published report that said the Orcish Empire central bank was keeping a closer eye on Lawful Alliance banks struggling with the realm's debt crisis.

Snakedark adventurers cross frogman border, kill 8 minotaurs

Spellcasters who crossed from the frogman desert launched a series of attacks Thursday in southern Minos, killing eight people and threatening to destabilize a volatile border region that includes the Blackhoof Cult-ruled the Enchanted Forest and the increasingly lawless Steelland Whitetalon.

BLUEDOOM repays royal another 2.15gp billion

Bailed-out insurer orc Nyghtdust Wyngsea said on Thursday it closed the sale of its Tunnelwood life insurance business and used the proceeds to repay the royal another $2.15 billion.

Smokefire visits Hightower Castle riot site

Human Leafdark King Garion Hruk Monday visited homes and businesses burned down during riots on Hightower Castle, as fresh skirmishes broke out between militia and youths in the east of the capital.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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