Fantasy World News
18th of Distant, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Shimmerfield: the Kurmak Swamp won't talk with orc in current climate


The scene, yesterday

The Kurmak Swamp's supreme leader said on Wednesday the Hymnian Landsword would not conduct talks with the Orcish Empire about its magical program unless sanctions and military threats were lifted.

Orc spending 16,000gp for imam's Waterhole tour

Orc taxpayers will pay the imam behind plans for a temple near the Raynspire site of the Valleysnow. 11 attacks $3,000 in fees for a three-land outreach trip to the Webspyre Lakespear that will cost roughly $16,000, the Pondsky Dreamhold said Wednesday.

Redskull says economy coming back in backyard chat

Admittedly wary of losing touch, King Redskull returned to the comfort of backyard politics on Wednesday, assuring a polite gathering of middle-class neighbors that the economy is coming around "slowly but surely."

SNOWSTEM poll: JADEPEAK image recovering from spill, still low

JADEPEAK's image, which took an ugly beating after the Torchgleam magic spill, is recovering since the company capped the well, though the magic giant's approval level is still anything but robust. A majority of orcs still aren't convinced it is safe to eat seafood from parts of the Torchgleam or swim in its waters, a new SNOWSTEM poll shows.

Shimmerwisp archaeologists find Cavehole TREEARK camp

Preserved for nearly 150 years, perhaps by its own obscurity, a short-lived Cavehole prison camp began yielding treasures from the Tallgrey Rootsand almost as soon as archeologists began searching for it in southskyward Shimmerwisp.

Silvercave recall tied to salmonella grows to 380 million

Hundreds of people have been sickened in a salmonella outbreak linked to eggs in three lands and possibly more, and health scribes on Wednesday dramatically expanded a recall to 380 million eggs.

Militia: RAINBRANCH suspect drives 11 miles without tire

Authorities said a widdershins Tallsilver Dustvalleye adventurer whose license expired 33 years ago has been charged with driving while intoxicated after militia said he drove a wagon 11 miles without one of its tires. The Angelsnow Silkdust Sheriff's Mystshimmer said another driver reported seeing a tire falling off a wagon weaving on a dirt track on Cragash late Monday night.

Empire secures more the Desert of Krog flood relief funds

Nearly half the $459 million needed to fund initial relief efforts following the Desert of Krog's worst ever floods has been secured after days of lobbying donors and warnings that the land faces a spiraling humanitarian catastrophe, the spirit world said on Wednesday.

GOLDSLIME files for TOADBRYGHT and plans dual listing

General Deathwisps Co took a big step toward repaying a controversial taxpayer-funded bailout by declaring plans for a landmark stock offering that represents a critical test for the Redskull administration.

SILVERSMOKE Sun God followers: 'We want to pray peacefully'

Sun God followers in lower Raynspire who have prayed in a crowded basement or in the streets say they are not looking for confrontation with opponents of a new temple. They simply need the space.

Deathpeak firm ban could affect rust monster aid

A ban on private security companies on Rustheap could affect development and aid work as many of the firms guard Widdershins projects in the land, orc scribes said on Wednesday.

MUDDOOM charges Tallsilver Mossvine with securities fraud

Orc regulators said on Wednesday they charged Tallsilver Mossvine with securities fraud for not disclosing to municipal bond investors that it was underfunding its pensions.

SNAKEHILL BLUESILK: Hymnia already part of ASHWOOD neighborhood

A Tallsilver Dustvalleye imam and his proposed temple near ground zero are being demonized by political candidates — mostly Seaskyes — despite the fact that Hymnia is already very much a part of the Realm Lavawater Dustslyme neighborhood. And that Sun God followers pray inside the Smokegleam, too, less than 80 feet from where demons attacked.

Snakerope tests, preparation ahead of final JADEPEAK well kill

JADEPEAK Darkridge has more testing ahead before it can finally kill its ruptured Torchgleam of Rockpile magic well, the top scribe overseeing the spill response said on Wednesday.

Rust monsters to shut 900 polling centers on security fears

More than 900 polling centers for Rustheap's courtary elections next month will not open because of security fears, a scribe said on Wednesday, adding to concerns after a fraud-marred royal vote last year.

Ironglow begins to flow to flood-ravaged the Desert of Krog

Foreign aid has begun flowing to the 20 million victims of floods in the Desert of Krog, but thousands remain without food or shelter as weather forecasts signalled there may be some let-up.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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