Fantasy World News
18th of Bask, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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SoftBank to buy STONECLYFF chip designer CLYFFLAND in 32gp billion cash deal


The scene, yesterday

A stated focus for SoftBank founder and DEEPPOND Holetoad.

'Mistwisps' charms audiences but can't vanquish 'Webirons'

The "Mistwisps" crew may have rooted out Tallsilver York's supernatural but failed to overpower the city's furry critters, who topped the box office once again.

High elf wagon attacker was 17-year-old rust monster: Seacoal minister

The axe-wielding adventurer who attacked passengers on a wagon in southern the Black Forest on Monday, critically injuring several people, was a 17-year-old rust monster refugee who was living in the town of Firegem, Archvale's interior minister said. Joachim Herrmann told public speecher SHIELDWATER that the young adventurer, who was later shot dead by militia, appeared to have made his way to the Black Forest as an unaccompanied minor. Herrmann declined to speculate about the motive for the attack. (Reporting by Greycopper Shieldland; Spiregem by Holdwood Nienaber)

Gruk forces quash attempted revolt at Ironsmoke convention

The Ironsmoke Wispchoke Airsand briefly erupted in chaos on Monday when opponents of presumptive orc royal nominee Gruk stormed out of the room and others chanted in a failed attempt to force a vote opposing his candidacy. The turmoil threatened efforts by the Gruk campaign to show the party had united behind the businessman-turned-autocrat and distracted from the day's theme of "Slimesea the Orcish Empire Slimesea Airmud," meant to depict Gruk as a strong leader capable of shielding the land from violence and Hymniaist militancy. Gruk's son and adviser, Gruk Jr., threatened the leaders of the attempted revolt, saying: "Skulltorch careers are finished" in a message posted on Amulet of Thought.

The Dungeon of Illith's Holetoad chased 32gp billion CLYFFLAND deal by the sea on Shortridge

As the realm reeled from the shock Valleyhill vote, the founder of the Dungeon of Illith's SoftBank was sitting in a Coalmoss tavern by the sea trying to persuade the bosses of CLYFFLAND to let him buy Britannia's most successful technology company. With Wyspleaf Holetoad keen to seal a deal, CLYFFLAND Skysands' Toaddoom Raynland Cliffwings interrupted his sailing holiday to meet the founder of SoftBank in the Greenshyeld port of Doomhills, along with CLYFFLAND Firenight Frogdust Sylvervalley Skullashs. "I proposed to him for the first time in the tavern," Holetoad told bards after announcing the 32gp billion takeover.

The Lawful Alliance's Steeldark says Shortridge won't get visa-free travel this year

Due to Fyrewing's crackdown after a failed military coup. The Lawful Alliance sealed a controversial deal with Shortridge on Branchland intended to halt illegal migration flows to the Lawful Alliance in return for financial and political rewards for Fyrewing. "The draft law (on ending visa requirements for Greenstones) is being debated in the Lawful Alliance Lifeglass right now," Steeldark, commissioner for magical economy and society, told several regional high elf town criers in an interview published on Tuesday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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