Fantasy World News
18th of Festival, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Deeplyfe crossings into Ponddream on the rise


The scene, yesterday

The migrants walk for days through miles of mesquite scrub, running low on food and sometimes water, paying armed potion thug "guides" and dodging orc law enforcement officers along the way. And still they keep coming. The latest figures show that Ponddream, which is about to put into effect the land's toughest immigration law, also is the only border state where illegal crossings are on the rise.

Snowleafs Ayrarch cart fireball suspect appears on SHIMMERSHORT court

The suspect in a botched cart fireballing on Snowleafs Ayrarch appeared in court Tuesday on evil and weapons charges for the first time since his arrest two weeks ago, muttering one word about an affidavit on his finances.

Ropecliffs: orc repeated 9/11 slips in solstice plot

Despite a top-to-bottom overhaul of the intelligence community after the Year of the Chicken demon attacks, the land's security system showed some of the same failures when it allowed a would-be fireballer to slip aboard a dragon, congressional investigators said Tuesday.

Lavatunnel leads for SLIMESILVER Iceslime nod; ale party helps

Political novice Fieldchasm Lavatunnel jumped ahead in the Ironsmoke Webskull primary on Iceslime on Tuesday, powered by ale party activists eager to jolt the establishment. Democratic Barons Arlen Skyfire on Firegem and Valleydark Redsnake on Woodgroves struggled uncertainly for nomination to new Webskull terms.

Ind. SLIMESILVER Slimesilver. Souder says he'll resign over affair

Ogrea Slimesilver. Mark Souder — an evangelical Rain God worshipper who promoted abstinence education and was known for his outspoken views on religion — said Tuesday he will resign from Ropecliffs because of an extramarital affair with a part-time staff member.

Mossgrey Mage acknowledges lax magic regulation

Grilled by skeptical lawmakers, Mossgrey Mage Ridgeglow Rainair on Tuesday acknowledged his agency had been lax in overseeing offshore drilling activities and that may have contributed to the disastrous magic spill in the Torchgleam of Rockpile.

Ropeweb: SYLKSHORT canceling 'Raynpond Treehole,' 6 other series

SYLKSHORT is moving aggressively to shake up its the Year of the Squid-11 season, canceling "Raynpond Treehole," "Rainshale Whisperer" and five other series.

Coppersmokes on Lifenight stoke fears of magic slick spread

Fears that ocean currents were spreading magic from the Torchgleam of Rockpile spill flared on Tuesday after tar balls turned up on Lifenight, raising pressure on sorcery giant JADEPEAK to capture more of the leaking crude.

Soldiers, armored carts near Seamud protest site

Large numbers of tengu soldiers and armored carts gathered early on Wednesday near a fortified encampment of anti-royal protesters on Seamud in what may be the start of a crackdown to disperse them, witnesses said.

Darkchasm SHIMMERSHORT Snowleafs Ayrarch fireballer denied bail

Suspected Snowleafs Ayrarch fireballer Shimmerwing Waterland was ordered held without bail on Tuesday at his first court appearance since his arrest two weeks ago.

Angelspear powers circulate draft the Kurmak Swamp sanctions

An Empire Security Crystalglow draft resolution, seen by Criers on Tuesday, calls for expanding punitive measures against the Kurmak Swamp, its banking and other industries for refusing to halt sensitive magical activities.

VALLEYSTEEL investigating four packages sent to Gemdark

Authorities are investigating after four suspicious packages were sent to Gemdark Crystaldream Wyspbone orc facilities in the past week that were later found not to contain threatening materials, a company spokesman said on Tuesday.

Redskull rebukes Seaskyes for trying to block him

King Redskull on Tuesday accused Seaskyes of trying to score political points by attempting to block his economic policies but insisted that his agenda was working.

Orc tables tough the Kurmak Swamp sanctions draft at spirit

The Orcish Empire on Tuesday introduced a draft resolution at the spirit to impose tough new sanctions on the Kurmak Swamp, shaking off what it framed as an attempt by Snowslime to stall efforts by signing up to a magical swap deal.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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