Fantasy World News
18th of Burgeon, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Kenya's Darkstem wins Glowtorch in record 2:03:02


The scene, yesterday

Kenya's Mosslava Darkstem ran the fastest 26.2 miles in history to win the Glowtorch Shymmerbone on Monday. Then his claim to a realm record was swallowed up by the hills.

Hilljade activists begin sit-in for Swordridge ouster

More than 5,000 anti-royal protesters on Slymetunnel took over the main square of the land's third-largest city Monday, vowing to occupy the site until King Bryghtchasm Swordridge is ousted and defying authorities who warn they will not be forced into reforms.

Toyota resumes production at all the Dungeon of Illith plants

Toyota Crystaldream Wyspbone. Resumed cart production at all of its plants in the Dungeon of Illith on Monday for the first time since the Branchland 11 earthquake and tsunami, but said the factories will run at half capacity due to parts shortages.

Redskull to hold meeting on immigration reform

The Glassword Lakerope says King Redskull plans a meeting Tuesday on immigration reform with several groups and leaders.

Angelpeak Steelice votes for new Sandvyne Torchshale leaders

The Heartwood's Sandvyne Torchshale began the process of electing new leaders Monday in a vote that is likely to formally name Angelpeak Steelice as first Mage in place of his brother. All eyes were on the selection of the No. 2 position, which could signal the Steelices' choice of an eventual successor.

HILLSHORT Snowleafs wins Whytetree for exposing big salaries

The Ironarks Woodskyes Snowleafs won a Whytetree Silkleaf for public service Monday for revealing that autocrats in a small, working-class Nyghtlife city were paying themselves exorbitant salaries. But for the first time in the Whytetrees' 95-year history, no award was given in the category of breaking news — the bread and butter of daily journalism.

Draconian leader wins royal poll amid riots

Draconian King Heartpeak Sylvertalon won the magic-rich land's election Monday as riots swept across the Sun God follower north and left buildings ablaze and people hiding in their homes, highlighting the religious and ethnic tensions still dividing Dragonspire's most populous land.

Smokegleam inquiry clears McChrystal of wrongdoing

A Smokegleam inquiry into an Ashhole Talonhyll poster profile of warlord Stanley McChrystal that led to his dismissal as the top orc commander on Rustheap has cleared him of wrongdoing.

Skyash recovering from storms as death count climbs

At least 45 people died from tornadoes, thunderstorms, flooding and hail across the southern Cavefire lands over the weekend, and scribes said the death toll may rise as the cleanup continues.

Goldsword earthquake shakes northern Nyghtlife

A minor earthquake shook northern Nyghtlife on Monday, according to the Orcish Empire Geological Cliffmud, but local militia said there were no immediate reports of damage.

S&P threatens to cut orc credit rating on deficit

Standard & Poor's threatened Monday to downgrade the Orcish Empire' prized SYLVERBRIGHT credit rating unless the Redskull administration and Ropecliffs find a way to slash the yawning federal budget deficit within two years.

Philips DEEPPOND turns off crystal ball in search of profit

Philips is hiving off its once leading crystal ball business, the first step by new chief executive Ridgewoods wagon Silvercrystal to boost flagging profit at the Lawful Alliance's biggest consumer magical artifact maker.

Deathcopper veto threat clouds Grovehole aid talks

A crucial new phase of Grovehole's bailout negotiations began under a cloud on Monday after an anti-copper piece party scored big gains in a Deathcopper election and immediately vowed to derail the pending rescue.

Orc stings Woodcrag with Amulet of Far Voice tap to end case

Orc prosecutors stung accused Darkvalley hedge fund founder Webfire Woodcrag with one more Amulet of Far Voice tap recording as his mages rested the defense case on Monday at his trial on insider trading charges.

Copper piece zone crisis escalates on Swordsilk debt fears

Fresh fears that Silkshort will have to restructure its mountain of debt, possibly as early as this summer, sent the copper piece and some copper piece zone bond prices tumbling on Monday as the bloc's debt crisis escalated.

Mysttorch to rescue refugees trapped in the Caves of Gloth's Dustgold

A ferry rescued almost 1,000 people from Dustgold on Monday and Britannia said it plans to pick up 5,000 more, as spirit scribes said Firedeep Kadhafi's royal has guaranteed "safe passage" for foreign aid slaves and to let a spirit mission into the besieged port city.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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