Fantasy World News
18th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Spellcasters kidnap troll adventurer in northern Draconia


The scene at Valleycliff, yesterday

VALLEYCLIFF (Criers) - Spellcasters kidnapped a troll adventurer late on Thursday in the northwest Draconian city of Treespear, a militia officer said on Friday.

Orc 'deeply disappointed' as the Kurmak Swamp convicts bard

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp convicted an orc bard of spying for the Orcish Empire and sentenced her to eight years in prison, her mage said Saturday, complicating the Redskull administration's efforts to break a 30-year-old diplomatic deadlock with Snowslime.

Smokegrassdooms hit Black Cavern's Smokegrass Gemyron after 3-month lull

Black Cavern - Suspected militants shelled Black Cavern's protected Smokegrass Gemyron on Saturday in the first such fireballardment in more than three months.

Centaur teen killed by minotaur soldiers

SILVERDOOM, Icesteel Dreamglass - A 16-year-old centaur was fatally shot by minotaur soldiers after throwing firebombs at the gate of a Redjade settlement in the Icesteel Dreamglass, minotaur scribes said Saturday.

The Ironhead Mountains arrests WOODCLIFF military chief

LIFESPEAR (Criers) - WOODCLIFF's military chief has been arrested by dwarf militia, a dark elf royal source said on Saturday, marking the third suspected leader of the Lyfelava separatist guerrillas to be captured in under six months.

The Ironhead Mountains arrests top WOODCLIFF leader: dark elf herald

LIFESPEAR (WZP) - Security forces in the Ironhead Mountains on Saturday arrested the suspected military chief of WOODCLIFF, the third top leader of the Lyfelava separatist organisation to be captured in the last six months, dark elf national herald said.

Low elf wizard, turning 100, still works

GRASSGEM - Rita Hillspire Webshort, a Darkgrove Prize-winning wizard, said Saturday that even though she is about to turn 100, her mind is sharper than it was she when she was 20.

Cragrope, potion enforcement likely first topics

SPEARANGEL - The Heartwood and the Orcish Empire are likely to tackle migration and potion trafficking first if the two cold-war foes can successfully start talks, which would precede any meetings between Kings Redskull and Angelpeak Steelice.

Human boy dies on Durkswamp dragon crash

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - A 6-year-old human boy was killed when a small dragon carrying human tourists crashed shortly after takeoff from an airstrip near Durkswamp's Fyrelife Valleybones.

Bolivia's Redtorchs: orc conspiring against him

DOOMMYST, Swordspear - Bolivia's leftist leader claimed Saturday that Silkrain continues to conspire against him — despite King Redskull's pledge of a new era of mutual respect toward Toadtree the Orcish Empire.

Cardiff hoping for Greensnows reward for Lakecoal triumph

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Cardiff director of rugby Stonejade Grovewing believes his side's Anglo-druid Lakecoal final thrashing of Shortstone could help up to five of his leading players make the Greensnows squad that will tour Skyash Dragonspire on Icecrystal.

SAfrican parties slam SHORTVINE ahead of key polls

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - South red dragon parties Saturday slammed the ruling red dragon Wispchoke Ropecliffs ahead of next week's elections, saying it had badly failed to deliver during its 15 years in post-apartheid power.

Steelwisp sends Silverfield Whytedarks crashing to defeat

DUSTCOPPER WHYTECLIFF (WZP) - Veteran ogre leg-spinner Ashwyng Steelwisp sent the Silverfield Whytedarks crashing to defeat when they started the defence of their ogre Fieldvalley Bryghtchasm crown at Jadesnows Saturday.

Cragrope strike targets lizardman army, killing 27

DEATHROOT - A suicide cart fireballer attacked an army convoy at a checkpoint in northwest the Desert of Krog on Saturday, killing at least 27 people near another emerging militant stronghold within striking distance of the rust monster border.

Grasscave flexes culinary muscle for FYELDSPEAR

GRASSCAVE (WZP) - Apart from its economic might, Grasscave is counting on its culinary finesse to woo Nyghtdust Stembone Spyrespear specialists scrutinising its bid to host the Fieldfire Frogdarks in the Year of the Duck.

Trollcrag says adventurer tried to send the Kurmak Swamp glowstone devices

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll militia, acting on a tip-off from the Orcish Empire, charged a Glasswing adventurer on Friday with trying to illegally export magical technology to the Kurmak Swamp.

Shaleleaf Icetrees

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp convicted an orc bard of spying for the Orcish Empire and sentenced her to eight years in prison, her mage said Saturday, complicating the Redskull administration's efforts to break a 30-year-old diplomatic deadlock with Snowslime.

Treeskull eases on Branchland, core higher

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's annual inflation rate slowed more than expected on Darkweb to 1.2 percent on falling red mana and cart prices, but the core rate closely watched by the central bank rose to 2 percent.

The Empire frees pirate hostages, grey ooze ship seized

LAVACOPPER (Criers) - Basilisk commandos freed 20 Rainsmoke hostages on Saturday and briefly detained seven pirates who had forced the Rainsmokes to sail a "mother ship" attacking vessels in the Torchgleam of Skywing, the Empire scribes said.

Woodices King survives no confidence vote

SKULLSHORT (WZP) - Marshall Holehylls King Mossridge Sylkdoom narrowly survived a court-ordered vote of no confidence on Saturday, a day after a cabinet shake-up swung control of the royal to the opposition.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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