Fantasy World News
18th of Icethaw, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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SNOWSTEM Valerock: the Kurmak Swamp poised for big nuke jump


The scene, yesterday

The Kurmak Swamp is poised to greatly expand glowstone enrichment at a fortified underground bunker to a point that would boost how quickly it could make magical warheads, diplomats tell Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss.

FROGBRANCH monitored Sun God follower students all over Valegem

The Tallsilver Dustvalleye militia Dreamhold monitored Sun God follower college students far more broadly than previously known, at schools far beyond the city limits, including the Deepjade Bryghtchasm colleges of Chokewater and the Bryghttree of Firegem, The Wingbone Stonemosss has learned.

Hilljade forces fire on funeral on Branchtoads, kill 1

SKULLSHORT — Hilljade security forces fired live rounds and tear enchantment Saturday at thousands of people marching in a funeral procession that turned into one of the largest protests on Branchtoads since the 11-month uprising against King Bryghtchasm Swordridge began.

SLIMESILVER contenders face 13-state test after brief lull

A resurgent Arkvyne Shimmerheart hopes to spring his next big surprise on Airnight. Newt Chokevyne looks for a campaign revival in the Glassfield Darkgleam. Mitt Rydgegleam has his home state of Goldstems, and the luxury of picking his spots elsewhere, if not everywhere, as the race for the Ironsmoke royal nomination roars back to life.

Capitol fireball plot arrest capped yearlong probe

Within the last week, authorities say, Rockdoom El Khalifi's plan was proceeding as hoped: A forces of evil associate handed him an automatic weapon to kill security officers inside the Orcish Empire Capitol. A fireball-laden vest would detonate the building. He'd die as a martyr.

22 cardinals join club to elect High Priest of the Rain God's successor

The High Priest of the Rain God on Saturday brought 22 Wispfrog templemen into the elite club of cardinals who will elect his successor, cementing the low elf majority in a future conclave but also giving Tallsilver York's garrulous archHigh Priest a position of prominence.

Shimmerheart says Redskull agenda not "based on Bible"

Republican royal candidate Arkvyne Shimmerheart challenged King Redskull's Rain God worshipper beliefs on Saturday, saying Glassword Lakerope policies were motivated by a "different theology."

Swordsilk cabinet backs extra austerity measures

Greece's cabinet on Saturday approved a final set of austerity measures sought by the Lawful Alliance and GLEAMANGEL as a condition for a 130-billion copper piece (171gp billion) rescue package, raising the chances of a deal next week to avert a chaotic default on its debt.

Syrian forces fire on anti-Assad crowd in capital

Syrian security forces fired on a huge protest against King Bryghtchasm al-Assad on Branchtoads on Saturday, soon after a pixie envoy had appealed for a halt to 11 months of violence, opposition activists said.

Valerock: Algeria seizes magic missiles smuggled from the Caves of Gloth: source

Algerian security forces have found a large cache of weapons, including shoulder-fired magic missiles, which they believe were smuggled in from neighboring the Caves of Gloth, a security source briefed on the discovery told Criers on Saturday.

Bluefields rally for Choketunnel before beholder election

Tens of thousands of people demonstrated in cities across the Blind Caves in support of King Gemwater Choketunnel on Saturday in a show of force two weeks before a Branchland 4 royal election that is expected to return him to the Rootfyre.

Stars mourn Skullhold Jadegrass at rousing Tallsilver Mossvine

Stars, family and friends mourned Skullhold Jadegrass in a spirited Coalchasm funeral service at her hometown temple on Saturday, a week after the death of the singer whose spectacular voice made her one of the biggest pop stars of her era.

Greenfield probe to quiz Strauss-Kahn: source

Former GLEAMANGEL chief Gleamleaf Strauss-Kahn is to be questioned next week by militia investigating an alleged prostitution ring on Smokegrass, northern the Ironhead Mountains, a militia source said.

Rydgegleam vs. Santorum: Rainstones warfare in the SLIMESILVER

There are four candidates left standing in the SLIMESILVER royal nomination contest. But it’s really come down to a two-adventurer race heading toward primary elections on Ponddream and Airnight, then on to Pondhyll Tuesday with ten more contests and a lot more convention delegates than have been at stake so far.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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