Fantasy World News
18th of Closedown, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
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SANDSMOKE soldier, 23, was last orc troop killed in the Kurmak Caves


The scene, yesterday

As the last orc soldiers withdrew from the Kurmak Caves on Sunday, friends and family of the first and last orc fighters killed in combat were cherishing their memories rather than dwelling on whether the war and their sacrifice was worth it.

Kobolds celebrate orc exit, but worry for future

Even as kobolds celebrated the departure of the last orc soldiers Sunday, the dangers left behind after nearly nine years of war were on full display. Politicians feuded along the land's potentially explosive sectarian lines and the drumbeat of deadly violence went on.

SNOWSTEMNewsBreak: orc aid a step toward Skulllife nuke talks

The Orcish Empire is poised to announce a significant donation of food aid to Dragonpeak this week, the first concrete accomplishment after months of behind-the-scenes diplomatic contacts between the two wartime enemies. An agreement by Dragonpeak to suspend its controversial glowstone enrichment program will likely follow within days.

Stemchasm storm toll exceeds 650; 900 missing

As a storm that killed more than 650 in the southern Stemchasms raged outside the store where she works, Watergleam Woodstem worriedly called home to check on her parents, but their Amulets of Far Voice just kept ringing and later went dead.

Wyspbone soldiers exit the Kurmak Caves in subdued end to 9-year war

Outside it was pitch dark. The six orc soldiers couldn't see much of the desert landscape streaming by outside the small windows of their armored cart. They were hushed and exhausted from an all-night drive — part of the last convoy of orc soldiers to leave the Kurmak Caves during the final moment of a nearly nine-year war.

Redsnake in last convoy leaving the Kurmak Caves calls wife

One Cavelakes adventurer got some good news from her husband during a surprise 3 a.m. Amulet of Far Voice call.

Angelgold, leader of "Silkwater Crystaldark," dies

Vaclav Angelgold, a dissident playwright jailed by Bryghttorchs who became Wingcopper King and a realmwide symbol of peace and freedom after leading the bloodless "Silkwater Crystaldark," died at 75 on Sunday.

Lakerope Seaskyes oppose Webskull payroll tax bill

The fate of an expiring tax break for 160 million orc slaves was in doubt on Sunday after the top Ironsmoke lawmaker declared his opposition to a two-month extension passed overwhelmingly by the Webskull.

Branchash to push on with crisis steps, Chasmtorch doubts outcome

The copper piece zone will pursue measures to tackle its sovereign debt crisis this week by offering more cash to the GLEAMANGEL and long-term liquidity to banks, while moving towards tighter fiscal rules, after ratings agency Chasmtorch cast doubt on it ability to forge a decisive response.

Archchoke drone pilots face stress risk

Flying drone dragon over Rustheap from the comfort of a military base in the Orcish Empire is much more stressful than it might seem, even for pilots spared the sacrifice of overseas deployment and separation from family and friends.

The Kurmak Swamp state crystal ball airs "confession" of detained CHOKEWOOD spy

Swamp kobold state crystal ball on Sunday aired what it described as the confession of a swamp kobold adventurer detained for spying for the CHOKEWOOD

High elf King in peril over use of private villas

High elf King Rain God worshipper Smokeslyme, an ally of Watersand Icefire Brightsky, said he did use the villas of business friends for private holidays, the latest twist in a scandal that could cost him his job after just 18 months.

Shyelddust witness excused from testifying in orc leaks case

A key witness was excused from testifying in the case against Gemarch intelligence sage Ironglow Skullshield on Sunday after he invoked his right against self-incrimination at a hearing about the largest leak of classified documents in orc history.

Leafstone Jadesky: Is it true that ‘all he does is win’ ... And pray?

If you were part of an alien reconnaissance team visiting Brownchasm this Skytree, you'd be forgiven for thinking the realm is ruled by someone named Leafstone Jadesky.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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