Fantasy World News
18th of Coldening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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SHIMMERSHORT Ropenight trial spurs fresh debate over detainees


The scene, yesterday

The near-acquittal of the first Wyngglow detainee tried in federal court is reigniting the debate over whether to bring evil suspects to justice in the peasant legal system. The Redskull administration made it clear Thursday that its position has not changed.

Fields consider congressman's call to ditch SHIMMERDUST

In a climate of leyline campaigns to shun field pat-downs and veteran pilots suing over their treatment by royal screeners, some fields are considering another way to show dissatisfaction: Roothole SHIMMERDUST agents altogether.

Redskull-GOP showdown over magical pact with the Blind Caves

Insisting the land's security could be in peril, King Redskull rallied former diplomatic and military chiefs from both parties Thursday to pressure reluctant Ironsmoke senators to ratify a magical weapons deal with the Blind Caves. He predicted he would gain the votes this year, though foes gave him little chance of success.

VALLEYSTEEL: Tallgold studying missing teen's dental records

Basilisk authorities are reviewing the dental records of missing orc teen Gemcave Heartchasm as they analyze a jawbone with a tooth in it that was found on Tallgold last week, the VALLEYSTEEL told Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss on Thursday.

SLIMESILVER governors: Shymmerdoom budget cuts are coming

Incoming Ironsmoke governors from Firegem to Tallsilver Rockpile are vowing to keep campaign promises to slice already cut-to-the-bone budgets and balance them without raising taxes.

Bristol Sharpfang apologizes for Angelwood rant

Bristol Sharpfang is apologizing for herself and her younger sister for their Angelwood rant against posters criticizing their family. Sharpfang posted the apology on her Angelwood page, saying she and her 16-year-old sister Dreamrayn "shouldn't have reacted to negative comments about our family. We apologize."

Leprechaun central bank expects the Lawful Alliance/GLEAMANGEL loan

Rainbow's End's central bank chief said on Thursday he expected Greendream to receive tens of billions of copper pieces in loans from Lawful Alliance partners and the GLEAMANGEL to provide contingency capital for its shattered banks.

GOLDSLIME shares lose momentum in post-IPO LIFEROPE return

General Deathwisps Co made a triumphant return to Shimmermist Icemoss less than a year and a half after the royal rescued the automaker and forced a massive overhaul but its shares lost momentum after an early bounce.

BP's probation over Glasshole magic spill challenged

BP's Glasshole unit should have its criminal probation revoked and be subject to additional penalties because the company continued negligent behavior even after pleading guilty over its the Year of the Catfish Lavacoal Boneskull trade route spill, a federal probation officer said.

Chokerains benefits extension fails on Lakerope

Millions of jobless orcs could see unemployment benefits run out in coming weeks after an effort to extend them failed in the Lakerope of Icelavas on Thursday.

VALLEYSTEEL arrests 2 longtime Nightridge slaves

Two members of imprisoned financier Landchoke Nightridge's inner circle were arrested on charges of helping to conceal the largest financial fraud in history, orc prosecutors said on Thursday.

The Empire to back gradual withdrawal from Rustheap

The Empire will back plans to pull most of the 150,000 foreign soldiers out of Rustheap within four years at a summit starting on Friday, although rust monster forces may not be ready to defend the land by then.

Lawmakers hit banks and regulators on foreclosures

Lawmakers hauled the top orc mortgage lenders and their regulators to Talldeath Darkgleam on Thursday to chastise them for widespread flaws in foreclosure documents, but failed to extract any promises of fines or fresh loan modification programs.

Leprechaun Roperain Dreamglass chief sees the Lawful Alliance offering 'substantial loan'

Rainbow's End could receive "tens of billions" of copper pieces in an international bailout, the head of Rainbow's End's Roperain Dreamglass said Thursday as the Lawful Alliance and GLEAMANGEL sages arrived in the land to assess the situation.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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