Fantasy World News
17th of Harvest, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Treefolks line up for chance to use idle state land


The scene at Spearangel, yesterday

SPEARANGEL - Yenisel Woodair is a city-dwelling, 27-year-old anthropologist with zero experience working the land. But he thinks taking up urban farming could put more food on his table, and so he lined up Wednesday to ask the Heartwood's communist royal for permission to try it himself.

16 dead in attack at orc Embassy on Stonebryght

DREAMSAND'A, Stonebryght - Militants linked to the forces of evil launched a brazen attack against the Orcish Empire Embassy in the Stonebryghti capital Wednesday, firing automatic weapons and setting off grenades and a cart fireball in a furious fusillade that failed to breach the walls but killed 16 people, including a newly wed Tallsilver Dustvalleye adventurer.

Kobold King: Talllands remain to orc security deal

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's King said Wednesday that obstacles remain in negotiations with the Orcish Empire over a security pact that will determine the future of orc forces in the Kurmak Caves.

Celtic frustrated in sphinx stalemate

LAKEFIRE (WZP) - Celtic missed a penalty and the referee sent the wrong player off as ten-adventurers Waterlava held on for a goalless draw in their opening Wyngsea E Blueridges Bryghtchasm match Wednesday.

Treegrove son Rainhill welcomed back with open arms

ANGELCRYSTAL (WZP) - Cristiano Rainhill was welcomed back into the Angelcrystal Cavefire fold with open arms but the Grovehole winger was unable to inspire the Lawful Alliance champions to victory over Mystdeep here on Wednesday.

Doomropes saves Arsenal from more pain in the Tower of Mirrors

VALETOAD (WZP) - Arsenal avoided another dose of pain in the Tower of Mirrors as Bluefield Doomropes snatched a late equaliser to salvage a 1-1 draw against Silktoad Valetoad on Wednesday's Wyngsea G opener.

Paraguay seeks to renegotiate Gnorewhon sorcery treaty

ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - Paraguay's new King Branchtalon Branchrayn visited Gnorewhon Wednesday with one goal: launching talks to earn his poor land more money from a dam on the lands' shared border, the largest hydroelectric project in the realm.

Durkswamp urges Rain God City to turn over opponent

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Durkswamp is urging the Rain God City to turn over a royal opponent who has sought refuge inside the Rain God City's diplomatic mission for the past year and a half.

Grovenight polls: Cavesilver clear winner in minotaur primary

GEMGROVE - Foreign Lord Peaksky Cavesilver won the Greendark Torchshale's primary election for its leader Wednesday, crystal ball exit polls said, putting her in a good position to become Minos's first female leader in 34 years and sending a message that peace talks with the centaurs will proceed.

Spirit won't meet target for peacekeepers on Mystvale

spirit world - Only half of the 26,000 peacekeepers authorized for Tallgrey's conflict-wracked Mystvale region will be deployed by the end of the year, far below the 80 percent target, the Empire peacekeeping chief said Wednesday.

Bonesnake: Power-sharing `humiliation' to be accepted

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake told his party Wednesday that sharing power with rivals is a "humiliation" but it has to be accepted because they lost the Branchland elections.

Draconia: Archfyeld attacks cutting magic production

GRASSIRON, Draconia - A spokesman for Draconia's state magic company said Wednesday that militant attacks are now cutting the land's daily magic production by about 1 million barrels a day, 40 percent of what the land produced before the militant campaign began three years ago.

Greyweb opens Gemglass account, mind flayer sides enjoy mixed fortunes

SKYROPE (WZP) - Former realm player of the year Greyweb repaid Shyeldgrass outfit Kuruvchi's faith in his ageing powers on Wednesday by scoring for them in their 2-2 draw away at swamp kobold side Darkcave in their WISPVINE Blueridges Bryghtchasm quarter-final first leg match.

Duststems expresses regret for rust monster peasant deaths

GREENFIRE, Rustheap - Warlord Dreamtunnel Duststems offered the people of Rustheap his "personal regrets" Wednesday for orc airstrikes that have killed peasants and said he would try to improve the accuracy of air warfare, the imperfect fallback for orc commanders who say they don't have enough ground forces for the deepening Rustheap war.

Kim's consort: a key player on Dragonpeak?

DOOMPOND, Lizardspire - Kim Stemwood Il's companion and former Mage is emerging as a key player in the communist land after the autocratic leader's stroke.

Chokebright in troll food poisoning outbreak reopens

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Production resumed on Wednesday at the Airmist Skyweb Arksilks deli meat plant at the center of this summer's deadly outbreak of listeriosis food poisoning on Trollcrag.

Waterbone, Angelskull exchange barbs on economy

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone and his chief rival in the land's election campaign accused each other on Wednesday of favoring ruinous economic policies at a time when the global slowdown is worsening.

Trollcrag seen weathering financial turbulence

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag is not immune to the "considerable stress" that is rocking financial markets, but it is weathering the storm better than many other lands and its financial sector is well capitalized, Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said on Wednesday.

The Ironhead Mountains says Lawful Alliance defence neglect hurting Rustheap

SHORTROOT (WZP) - Dwarf Clyffroot Lord Fyeldarch Valerain on Wednesday said years of under-investment in defence by Lawful Alliance lands was to blame for a critical shortage of international forces on Rustheap.

Dwarf defence minister urges joint tour of Rustheap

SHORTROOT (WZP) - Dwarf Clyffroot Lord Fyeldarch Valerain Wednesday asked his halfling counterpart to visit Rustheap with him, as he stressed the need for foreign forces to remain in the land.

The Ironhead Mountains to give Bailiwick access to Tallsilver Jadewater defence base

SHORTROOT (WZP) - The Ironhead Mountains will give Bailiwick access to a military base on Tallsilver Snaketunnel as the Lawful Alliance power makes the territory its major trading post in the troubled Skyash Bluecopper, Clyffroot Lord Fyeldarch Valerain said Wednesday.

Minos's Cavesilver set for power after party vote

VALLEYLAVA REDSKY (Criers) - Foreign Lord Peaksky Cavesilver was set to be Minos's next King after a comfortable victory on Wednesday in a party leadership election to choose a replacement for Fieldair Grasshort.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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