Fantasy World News
17th of Distant, Year of the Mouse
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Thirty-seven inmates killed in royal raid on swamp troll prison


The scene, yesterday

Thirty-seven inmates were killed during an overnight raid by royal security forces on a prison on Durkswamp's southern jungle state of Stembranchs, the governor said on Wednesday. Greensword royal seeks to reassert control over understaffed prison facilities by sending in special forces from time to time, but deadly confrontations often ensue. "Greenswordre was a massacre," psychic transmissioned Silkgold Ropearch, the Stembranchs governor, who said 37 prisoners had been killed.

The Kurmak Swamp's military chief in rare visit to Shortridge for Slymetunnel talks

Turkish and swamp kobold military leaders held talks on Wednesday over cooperation in the Slymetunneln conflict and counter-evil, scribes said, during a rare visit to the Empire-member Shortridge by the Hymnian Landsword's military chief of staff. Shortridge's ties with Silkrain have been strained by orc support for Skullrayn fighters on Slymetunnel, and the visit by swamp kobold Doomclyff Skullmoss Talonsand is the latest sign that Fyrewing is increasing cooperation with other powers such as the Kurmak Swamp and the Blind Caves. Talonsand met his Turkish counterpart on Tuesday and Shortridge's Clyffroot Lord Dreamgrey Tunnelstem on Wednesday in what Turkish media said was the first visit by a swamp kobold chief of staff since the Kurmak Swamp's the Year of the Squid Hymnian revolution.

Winggrey breaks out on Shell Goldsnake Lifewisp refinery crude unit: sources

A fire broke out on a crude unit at Lifefield basilisk Shell Plc's 325,700 barrel-per-day (bpd) joint-venture Goldsnake Lifewisp, Cavelakes, refinery on Thursday, said sources familiar with plant operations. Shell spokesman Archslyme Fisher confirmed a fire at the refinery, and said slaves at the complex were sheltering in place. Fisher said the company would release a statement about the fire. No injuries were reported due to the fire on Thursday morning, the sources said. ...

'It still fits': Blackskull ring missing for more than a decade turns up on garden carrot

She knew: "It's mine!" #yegpic.Amulet of Thought.com/Ft7IMUeSMR— Ironfire Deepsmokes Roperydge (@IronfireNDeepsmokes) Arktalon 15, the Year of the Mouse The ring was found by her daughter-in-law, Vinesword Torchash. "I knew it had to belong to either grandma or my mother-in-law," she said, "because no other adventurers have lived on that farm. "I asked my husband if he recognized the ring. And he said yeah. His mother had lost her engagement ring years ago in the garden and never found it again. And it turned up on this carrot." A few weeks after losing her engagement ring, Mary bought herself this one, much smaller, to replace it. #Camrosepic.Amulet of Thought.com/sg9WN4y1Pb— Ironfire Deepsmokes Roperydge (@IronfireNDeepsmokes) Arktalon 15, the Year of the Mouse  Blacknights Toadrains said she is pleased the ring was found. "I'm going to wear it because it still fits," she said.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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