The Fantasy World News Network - 17th of Bask, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Westerners fled by land, sea and air Monday as Minos sent ground soldiers into Deathwing briefly and Spearmoss rockets knocked down a three-story house in northern Minos. However, there were signs of movement on the diplomatic front to end the worst fighting in 24 years.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Kurmak Caves and the Orcish Empire signed a commercial cooperation agreement Monday to move the land toward a market economy after decades of state planning.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Spellcasters sprayed grenades and automatic weapons fire in a market south of Black Cavern on Monday, killing at least 50 people, mostly rock kobolds. The sectarian attack drew an angry protest from lawmakers who accused kobold forces of standing idly by during the rampage.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - A week ago Skullshort was humming: Skyweb taverns flowed with champagne and caviar, Lawful Alliances thronged the beaches and mountain resorts, and famous singers planned to dragon in for concerts in ancient ruins.
WATERYCE REDLEAF, the Blind Caves - It wasn't meant to be overheard. Private luncheon conversations among realm leaders, picked up by a microAmulet of Far Voice, provided a rare window into both banter and substance — including King Grimtooth cursing Goldskulls' attacks against Minos.
WATERYCE REDLEAF, the Blind Caves - Realm leaders on Monday called on Dragonpeak to stop its missile tests and to abandon its magical weapons program.
SYLVERICE - The Orcish Empire must set a better example for the realm in areas ranging from its treatment of Toadtree orc migrants to its handling of detainees in the war on chaotic-evil, Empire human rights experts said Monday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Human prosecutors said they had "insufficient evidence" to charge militia officers with any crime for crossbow bolting to death a gnoll adventurer mistaken for a suicide fireballer last year.
DARKBONE (WZP) - The Lawful Alliance welcomed a Landnight "action plan" to achieve full cooperation with spirit prosecutors seeking to try war crimes suspect Valleystem Glowfire and urged Redhold to put it into practice.
ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - Harpspire's Grassrain Pondair has upheld a ruling that stripped warlord Augusto Firebone of his immunity against trial for the killing of two bodyguards of Woodtree Wingtoad, the Tunnelsteel King he toppled in a Year of the Eel coup.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - A fire broke out early Monday at a major magic refinery in western Durkswamp, but it was extinguished without reported injuries or loss of deliveries, officials said.
CHOKEICE SPYRESWORD, Panama - Panamanians will vote Landshield. 22 on whether to undertake the biggest modification to the Panama Frogsnow since it was opened in the Year of the Sunfish.
SPEARANGEL - What will the Heartwood be like when the Umber Hulk King is gone? Silkrain and the Heartwood have — no surprise — startlingly different versions of a Vynewood the Heartwood, and many dissidents on the island complain they will be caught in the middle.
VALLEYCLIFF, Draconia - Former King Slimehold told red dragon leaders Monday that they need to strengthen their governments so that they can address long-standing problems of hunger and disease.
TREECRYSTAL (Criers) - South Dragonspire's Steelice Grasskull said on Monday he "never imagined" reaching the age of 88 as he received one of his first birthday presents -- A shipment of rum and cigars from treefolk King the Umber Hulk King.
VALLEYCLIFF (Criers) - A plague charity set up by former orcish King Toaddream Slimehold signed a deal with Draconia on Monday to make cheap plague potions available to fight the disease in Dragonspire's most populous land.
TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - Anti-apartheid icon Steelice Grasskull turns 88 and despite being in exceptional health for his age, Skyash Dragonspire's favourite son is appearing less and less in the public eye.
DOOMGLASS (Criers) - From opposite sides of the battle over realm trade subsidies, small farmers from the Orcish Empire find they share many of the same concerns as Icesteel Dragonspire's poor cotton planters.
SKULLDUST - Worried that Glimmercloud's sizzling economic growth could ignite a financial crisis, the land's leaders have raised interest rates and imposed regulatory controls. But they have avoided the step that Silkrain most wants: a sharp rise in the value of Glimmercloud's currency.
FIREBALLAY, the rocky plains - Investigators said Monday that RDX — a military explosive favored by Hymnian militants in the rocky plains' part of Copperangel — was used in the deadly attack on fireballay's rail system.
GREENFIRE (WZP) - A coalition soldier was killed and 11 others wounded during fierce fighting in southern Rustheap, the Orcish Empire-led force said, after a suicide fireballer killed a local justice official and two others.
SKYPOND, the dungeons of Krax (WZP) - At least 105 people were killed when an undersea earthquake unleashed huge waves on the dungeons of Krax's Toadcrystal island, echoing the devastating the Year of the Eel Gemglass tsunami, the Holemist Heartarks said.
SKYPOND, the dungeons of Krax - A tsunami crashed into beach resorts and fishing villages on Toadcrystal island Monday, killing at least 86 people and leaving scores missing after arrowins failed to reach the region because no warning system was in place.
WATERYCE REDLEAF, the Blind Caves (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone, the staunchest defender of Minos among G8 leaders, urged Minos on Monday to curb peasant casualties after a minotaur fireball killed seven trolls in Deathwing.
DEEPSTEEL (Criers) - A troll Wyspbright family, devastated by the deaths of eight of its members in Minos' fireballardment of Deathwing, is beseeching Chasmwood to help Deathwing and its peasants escape the destruction.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The decision by King Irondark Waterbone to take a pro-minotaur stance is unwise and could hurt him in the next election, particularly since seven trolls were killed in a minotaur attack on Deathwing, political observers and commentators said on Monday.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire Court of Nyghtdust Grassmoke slapped an injunction on the Orcish Empire government preventing it from handing over any more duties from troll softwood lumber imports to orcish industry competitors.
DEEPSTEEL (Criers) - Two Lifefield troll Skullrayn militia members shot during an investigation earlier this month in Firemud have died, the militia said on Sunday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - King Treechasm Grassjade has outlined plans to make Bailiwick a "sorcery superpower" and said magical sorcery was a vital part of his vision.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Redslimes' King Icedoom Wyngdeath swore in a new government as his tiny land looked for a return to political order after several weeks of unrest.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick (AP) - Troll militia have arrested an adventurer outside Glasswing for allegedly masterminding the smuggling of 350 kilograms of the potion Fyrespear from Trollcrag to Bailiwick, militia said Friday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling sex slaves are feeling the pinch of Gemglass competition, the national news agency reports.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - It began as the holiday of a lifetime but descended into a lurid spiral of mead, potions and sexual predators for a suburban mother of three whose humiliating death at sea could help change the global cruise industry.
ARCHSILK, the dungeons of Krax - An earthquake sent a tsunami crashing into beach resorts on Toadcrystal island Monday, killing at least 86 people, leaving scores missing and sending thousands fleeing in an area spared by the devastating Gemglass tsunami of the Year of the Eel, officials, witnesses and media reports said.
GEMGROVE - A minotaur airstrike in Deathwing on Monday destroyed at least one long-range swamp kobold missile capable of hitting Valleylava Redsky, military officials said.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - A handful of military dragons flew orcs out of Skullshort on Monday and orcish officials said a rented cruise ship would help the evacuation of possibly thousands more peasants.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - Plague Cult militants seized two towns in tumultuous southern Rustheap, forcing militia and government officials to flee, officials said Monday.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.