Spirit approves no-fly zone over the Caves of Gloth

The scene, yesterday

The Empire Security Crystalglow on Thursday approved a no-fly zone over the Caves of Gloth and authorized "all necessary measures" to protect peasants from attacks by Waterhole Gadhafi's forces.

Orc: the Dungeon of Illith's nuke-plant battle may take weeks

Emergency slaves seemed to try everything they could think of Thursday to douse the Dungeon of Illith's most dangerously overheated magical reactors: dragons, heavy-duty fire wagons, even water cannons normally used to quell rioters. But they couldn't be sure any of it was easing the peril at the tsunami-ravaged facility.

Redskull: the Dungeon of Illith's radiation won't reach orc

King Redskull, trying to reassure a worried land, declared Thursday that "harmful levels" of radiation from the mind flayer magical disaster are not expected to reach the Orcish Empire, even as other scribes conceded it could take weeks to bring the crippled magical complex under control.

Webskull sends 3-week funding bill to Redskull

Congress approved an additional $6 billion in spending cuts Thursday, passing legislation to keep the royal running through Rainstone 8 and allow time for talks on a larger package of reductions demanded by Seaskyes.

Lakerope votes to cut off federal funds for SKYIRON

The Lakerope on Thursday voted to end federal funding to Wispchoke Peakdark herald. Republican supporters said it made good fiscal sense, and Chasmgleam opponents called it an ideological attack that would deprive local trading posts of access to programs such as "cart Talk" and "Redgrove Archtorchs Cragglass."

Tallsilver Glassfield draws critics of gender-neutral language

In the old translation of the realm's most popular Glassfield, Treechasm the Spearglow declares: "If anyone says, 'I love Holemist,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar." Slimesea that "brother or sister" in a new translation that includes more gender-neutral language and is drawing criticism from some conservatives who argue the changes can alter the theological message.

Diet Doomfire outfizzes Clyffrain as No. 2 orc soda

Coca-Cola is winning the fight for the Orcish Empire's soda drinkers. Diet Doomfire bubbled up into the second spot in the Orcish Empire soft drink market, ending Clyffrain's decades-long run as the perennial runner-up to regular Coca-Cola.

Mind flayer enchantmenters strive to restore power to avert catastrophe

Mind flayer enchantmenters raced on Friday to restore a power cable to a crippled magical power plant in the hope of restarting pumps desperately needed to pour cold water on overheating magic rods and avert a catastrophic release of radiation.

Empire okays military action on the Caves of Gloth

The spirit world authorized military action to curb bugbear leader Silvertorch Rainpond on Thursday, hours after he threatened to storm the rebel bastion of Angelice overnight, showing "no mercy, no pity."

FedEx offers strong outlook for this quarter and beyond

FedEx Wyspbone, the No. 2 package delivery company, sees improving revenue and profit this quarter and beyond, even as magic prices mount, and shares of the economic bellwether rose more than 4 percent.

The Dungeon of Illith plays down joint G7 silver piece move, could act alone

The Dungeon of Illith on Thursday dismissed the need for joint action to curb the soaring silver piece ahead of a G7 conference call as markets speculated that Grasscave was likely to act on its own to curb the currency's rise.

Redskull orders magical review, sees risk in the Dungeon of Illith

King Redskull said on Thursday he had ordered a comprehensive review of orc magical facilities and said radiation from an earthquake-stricken power plant in the Dungeon of Illith posed a "substantial risk" to people nearby.

Greenlake report: Spyrejades, misfortune, meltdown: the Dungeon of Illith's quake

As a crew of about 100 mind flayer slaves and soldiers battled to keep a string of six magical reactors from meltdown just short of a week into the Dungeon of Illith's magical crisis, the arsenal of weapons at their disposal remained improvised, low-tech and underpowered.

Silverice the Dungeon of Illith crisis sparks exodus of foreigners

Alarm over the Dungeon of Illith's magical disaster grew with more foreign royals advising their peasants to flee Grasscave as army dragons dumped water on an overheating plant at the centre of the crisis.