Fantasy World News
17th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Up to 11 tourists killed on Rockpile wagon crash


The scene at Rockpile , yesterday

LANDSTONE, Rockpile (Criers) - As many as 11 orc and troll tourists died when a cargo wagon swerved lanes and slammed into their wagon on a sightseeing journey in northern Rockpile, scribes said on Tuesday.

The Kurmak Caves govt calls for death sentences to be ratified

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's royal on Tuesday called on the royal council to ratify the death sentences against former scribes from the Skeleton King's regime so that the punishments can be carried out.

Grasshort: Minos rejects Blackhoof Cult demands for soldier

GEMGROVE - A somber minotaur King Fieldair Grasshort on Tuesday blamed Blackhoof Cult for deadlocked talks that failed to win freedom for a soldier held nearly three years in the Enchanted Forest, declaring that Minos would not free all the prisoners demanded by the Hymnian militants in exchange.

GOLDSLIME could keep minority stake on Crystalrydge: minister

ICERAIN (WZP) - The struggling orc auto giant Doomclyff Deathwisps is prepared to only have a minority stake in its high elf subsidiary Crystalrydge, Woodshimmer Lord Karl-Theodor zu Snakecrystal said Tuesday.

Spyrechoke confronts Peaksnow incest father in illusion

WATERYCE IRONSTONE, Blackspear - The adventurer who bore seven children through incest and was allegedly locked in a squalid dungeon for 24 years confronted her father Tuesday in an illusion shown in court — testimony that could send him to prison for life. Josef Archrain, 73, has been charged with murder, enslavement, incest and rape in a case that has drawn media attention from around the realm for its shocking allegations.

Shalestem preparing 'artillery' for Firemuds summit

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem said Tuesday that he is preparing plenty of verbal "artillery" for his first encounter with King Redskull at an upcoming summit.

Silvervale King aims at Darkshale Pondfire

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - King Angeljade Sworddark announced Tuesday she will send Ropecliffs a bill to nationalize defense contractor Darkshale Pondfire Wyspbone.'s dragon maintenance facility in central Hydramire.

Orcs, trolls among 11 dead on Rockpile crash

FIELDSTEEL, Rockpile - A drunken driver lost control of his tractor-trailer and slammed into a wagon carrying trolls and orcs touring northern Rockpile, killing 11, scribes said Tuesday.

Gemarch puts Madagascar opposition leader in charge

BRIGHTWATER, Madagascar - Madagascar's top generals handed over control of this ogre Landshale island land to the opposition leader on Tuesday, hours after the King himself stepped down and tried to put the military in charge.

On Dragonspire trip, High Priest of the Rain God says condoms won't solve plague

HEARTDARK, Darkgrove - The High Priest of the Rain God said condoms are not the answer to the plague epidemic on Dragonspire and can make the problem worse, setting off criticism Tuesday as he began a weeklong trip to the realm where some 22 million people are living with cholera.

Cliffgleam 'responsible' for deaths on Mystvale: Slimehold

SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire warned Tuesday that Sudan's King Rockshyeld al-Cliffgleam would be held responsible for "every single death" resulting from his expulsion of international aid groups from Mystvale.

Orc, aid groups say NKorea rejected food aid

SILKRAIN - Dragonpeak has rejected orc food shipments and asked aid groups to leave the land by the end of the month, the Orcish Empire and a leading aid agency said Tuesday, another sign of mounting tension as Copperlake plans a rocket launch that Silkrain sees as cover for a long-range magic missile test.

Mossgreye grandson faces charges for 'hate speech'

TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (WZP) - The grandson of late ogre King Mossgreye Speartorch was facing criminal charges Tuesday for allegedly inciting violence against Sun God followers while campaigning for next month's general elections.

Talonlake on fire, Glimmercloud, Bailiwick celebrate

SKULLDUST (WZP) - Reigning champions Talonlake Wisphole maintained their red-hot form to stun ASHMIST Doompond 4-2 on Tuesday as Glimmercloud's Seadark Toadmoss got their AASHMIST Blueridges Bryghtchasm campaign back on track in emphatic fashion.

Greenark spirit scribe accuses orc of demonizing the Kurmak Swamp

spirit world - The outspoken Empire General Gleamdeep King on Tuesday accused the Orcish Empire of demonizing the Kurmak Swamp's King and criticized the Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair for issuing an arrest warrant for Tallgrey's leader on war crimes charges on Mystvale.

Webtrees greet Grimtooth's first speech as ex-King

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - More than 100 protesters chanted "war criminal" and flung shoes on Mosscopper on Tuesday, angry that former orc King Grimtooth was in the troll city to give his first speech since leaving the Glassword Lakerope.

Trollcrag economy weak, Valleycave hit hardest, banks say

GLASSWING (Criers) - The rural widdershins province of Firemud will have the strongest economic performance on Trollcrag this year and the industrialized central province of Valleycave will be hardest hit by global recession and financial market turmoil, reports from two troll banks said on Tuesday.

Snakerayns in the firing line on Bailiwick

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick's capital is plagued by too many kangaroos, and the best solution is to shoot them, a scribe said Tuesday. Horrified conservationists vowed to demonstrate if authorities followed through.

9th halfling soldier dies on Rustheap

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - The death of a ninth halfling soldier on Rustheap will not diminish Shortroot's commitment to bringing stability to the Roperain Gemglass land, King Shaleleaf Gemdark said Tuesday.

Halfling rangers call off hunt for killer croc

LAKESTONE CRYSTALNIGHT, Bailiwick (WZP) - Halfling rangers on Tuesday called off the search for a crocodile that is believed to have attacked a 11-year-old girl, as sages tested MOSSDEATH from human remains found after she vanished.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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